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Thevy29

36-40, M

Australia

2034 views · 42 followers · Online: Now (date?)

I'm the type of person who goes to a party... And makes friends with the dog.

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Can you name a song that mentions the weather?

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I'll go first: Summer of 69

Dear Santa, all I want is a fat bank account & a skinny body. Please don't mix it up again like last year!

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What is the worst bullying that you have ever witnessed or experienced?

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When I moved towns at the age of 6. I was bullied from the first day in the new school and it didn't end until I finished year 12. Most of it was verbal. Though usually I got my ass kicked at least twice a week. My home life was worse. But as ho...

On my first day in prison, my cellmate said to me,

"If you ever come close to me, I'll f**king skin you. When we're sleeping, you don't f**king touch me. You hear me? Don't ever talk to me, either." "Frickin great," I thought, "First day in here and I...

An airline introduced a half price fare for women accompanying their husbands on business trips. -

- Expecting valuable testimonials, the airline wrote to all of the wives who'd used the special rate, asking them if they enjoyed the trip. Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"

Changing careers.

After 20 years of work, a successful gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and decided that, even though this is all he knew, he would seek new career for himself. Hoping to try a career where skillful hands wou...

Does anyone know when the term "Wait, what?" Became popular?

I've been noticing it a lot in new TV shows and movies lately. even in recent books too.

If Athlete's get Athlete's foot what do Astronauts get?

If your cup is only half full. . . You probably need a different bra.

Anti-Masker's don't understand all the advantages to wearing a mask brings you:

I mean you can mouth the words "screw you" directly to someone's face all day and they will never know.

Single people use half of their bed for remotes, charges, phones, snacks and cushions. I wonder how couples manage it?

I have a chicken proof lawn. It's impeccable.

For those who travel, often the best food is a truck stop.

A trucker came into a Truck Stop Cafe' and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards." The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and s...

When the bartender died, the pastor put his parrot in the church, until a home could be found a home...

On Sunday the bird looked at the pastor and said "new bartender" then he looked at the organist and said "new piano player "then he looked at the congregation and said "Same old crowd"!

Two delicate flowers of Southern womanhood, one from Georgia, the other from Alabama.

They were conversing on the porch swing of a large white pillared mansion. The Georgia peach said, "When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me." The lady from Alabama commented. "Well, isn't that ...

A large passenger plane is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 35,000 feet, when suddenly an F-22 Raptor appears.

The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus flight, a boring flight isn't it? Take care and have a look here!" He rolls his jet on its back, acceler...

So, the Disney channel has all these new movies including the Alien franchise. I had never seen Alien before and thought I should try it.

The long and short of it, I'm afraid to sleep now..

What has 4 letters, sometimes 9 letters, but never has 5 letters?

Have you tried toffee apples?

Don't stress about your eyesight failing as you get older.

It's natures way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

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