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Thevy29

36-40, M

Australia

2255 views · 45 followers · Online: Now (date?)

I'm the type of person who goes to a party... And makes friends with the dog.

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Can you name a song that mentions the weather?

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I'll go first: Summer of 69

Dear Santa, all I want is a fat bank account & a skinny body. Please don't mix it up again like last year!

PINNED

I hate the winter, its not even cold like in other places but I still hate the way it seeps into your skin.

What do you call a pudgy psychic?

🤣 A four-chin teller.

How do you get a country girl’s attention?

What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?

Brrrroooom, brrroooom.

Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they arrgh!

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!

What’s Forrest Gump’s Facebook password?

A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was a one night stand.

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “do you know how to drive this thing?”

I do not mean to brag, but cashiers always check me out.

I got arrested the other day for downloading the entire Wikipedia.

In court I told the judge I could explain everything. 😉

What's the deal with McDonalds selling chicken drumsticks? Why?

Its like if KFC started selling Pizza's. Yeah we'll want to try it but you shouldn't really branch out from what your best at. It's bad enough they have a coffee bar inside most of the outlets too now...

Do you let you pet inside when you have dinner?

I've learned two important lessons in my life. I can't recall the first one, but the second one is that I need to start writing stuff down.

Should people with multiple personalities donate one of them to people who don't have one?

With the rise of self-driving vehicles, there will eventually be a country song about how your truck left you too.

Legs, hurting, so bad. No job is worth this!

I'll just wait and see what the first paycheck is like before I continue that thought...

How often do you watch movies?

I watch one a night.

Can you name a town or city that has a funny name?

The country its in would also be helpful.

I see it, I like it, I want it, I check the price, I put it back

Warning: Going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday. Please note that staying awake all night does not prevent Monday. There is no cure.

Everyone needs a friend who they probably shouldn't be allowed to sit next to at a serious function.

And if you don't have such a friend then your probably that friend for someone else..🤗

Your gangster name is the colour of your shirt and the last thing you ate. Who are you?

1-25 of 2720

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