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Thevy29

36-40, M

Australia

3048 views · 58 followers · Online: Recently (date?)

I'm the type of person who goes to a party... And makes friends with the dog.

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Can you name a song that mentions the weather?

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I'll go first: Summer of 69

Dear Santa, all I want is a fat bank account & a skinny body. Please don't mix it up again like last year!

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The people who came up with the storyline for the movie 'Back to the Future 2' must have the most wonderful imaginations don't you think?

Flying cars aside, the ability to accurately predict the weather! That is some next level imagination there.

A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind.

A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat. The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right. Her husband said: The cat just died. She burst into tea...

When you go to buy your books, do you prefer new or pre-loved?

If its a new series or book I'd buy it new, obviously but if its an older book I will always try to get a pre-loved copy. I went to Rundall Mall in what feels like forever to suss out the new shops and to visit the new Dymocks book shop. It...

Why TF are bras so expensive? You just want to buy some fabric to support the 2 sacks of fat on your chest, not 2 first class tickets to space!

And just like that my brother put the singlet down and walked off and left me in the clothes shop. 🤣 His got no sense of humour...

My Dad wants to go on Tinder and find himself a Cougar to date, 🤦‍♂️ So I asked him if he knew what a Cougar was?

And he said it was a woman 15 to 20 years older than the guy. Which I though was an accurate description, but with one flaw in his case. He said, what flaw is that? I said anyone who is 15 years older then you is f#cking dead.

Do you have a Go-bag tucked away in case you need it?

A Go-bag is just a bag with a change or two of clothes and some toiletries. I know some older people keep one just in case they have to stay in hospital overnight without warning. The same could apply to younger people. I mean my go bag is usually fi...

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Pool rules: You are not allowed to do anything that begins with the words 'Hey everyone watch this!'

Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watchng TV, the other playing hockey and the third one was

Caught reading this quote! 😝

I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.

You don't need to riot in protest of the Abortion law, ladies. You just gotta keep your legs closed till they change it back!

Don't you think they need to stop interviewing Footballers on the news?

It's embarrassing watching these meatheads try to form human words...

Have you ever caught yourself snoring whilst still awake?

Or maybe you know someone who does?

My niece wants me too go to her baby's 1st Bday party but hasn't told me were it will be. I don't want to go since I'm working that night.-

Should I ring ahead and tell her I'm not going or just ignore it, since she still hasn't told me were it will be... I tried to get time off work to go when I though it would be at her house a 6 hour drive away. Now all of a sudden she'...

Thanks to growing inflation and high cost of living I have found an ingenious solution to Organise your finances...

Yep, my dogs would do this too if they could...

You're given an impossible choice, as to which you can keep. Your partner or your pet, who do you choose?

What do you think should happen to people who abandon animals in horrible conditions?

Just saw on the news someone had left a cat and 2 kittens outside the RSPCA animal shelter last night. Its winter and they didn't give them a blanket to make it through the night. 2 months ago there was another story of puppies tied up in a plas...

Ever wonder if its possible to get married in heaven?

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they ...

And just like that I am banned from watching Pirates of the Caribbean anymore?

What happened was, she asked me to go make her a cuppa which I didn't want to do since she walked past the kettle to ask me... After an hour of waiting she asked what happened to it. So I said in my best Capt Barbossa impersonation; 'I agr...

What is the worst thing you ever bought when drunk or tired?

How come Amazon doesn't warn you about the 'Region' of teh DVD your ordering?

I'm in Region 4 and the DVD I ordered is Region 2. I haven't tried it yet, I'm not sure if it will work...

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