What’s something traumatizing that your Mom said to you as a child that you still remember?

I used to hate to go to bed and would stand next to the bed but refused to get in it, so my mom would tell me that there were monsters under my bed that would grab my ankles and drag me under the bed and kill me. To this day, when I stand next to my bed, for a second or two I wonder if there’s a monster underneath.

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iamelijah · 26-30, M Best Comment

Idk if whether it is traumatise to me or not, but while she was alive when I was a kid, I used to puke when having fever. She always told me to clean the mess up despite I was really sick that time. She told no one is gonna help you (me).

Now, even I was sick I refuse to ask help from anyone because it might annoying them or burdening them.

I think her intention was not making me clinging to people too much. Thanks to that. I am not whining unless my condition was too severe or the pain is unbearable.

But there is also one is traumatising me. I was molested by someone and yet I was blaming for showing too much skin. She never report it because she know that person. Since then, I don't like exposing my skin too much unless I am alone.

And. I always scared to mention my problem to her even when I got my first period. I was so scared blood gushing down there. I put tissues and blood still not stop. I even tried to block something to stop the bleeding.
My sister find out when the looked my seated bleed and then she told mum.
Of course she wasn't angry but she was like a tiger. Always angry.

Mardrae · 61-69, F

@iamelijah see, this is making me want to write down some of my own issues and trace them back to things my parents said to me. I’m so sorry you went through those things, but it’s good that you are realizing where they came from and hopefully overcome those fears.

iamelijah · 26-30, M

@Mardrae Sometimes I deeply I feel angry on her but sometimes I feel pity for her.
She was victim of cycle abuse too. She was a smart girl but she was force not going to school by her parents. In the end, she marriage at young age with my dad, seeking for stable life but also struggle with her in laws family (my father's family).
She was an independent woman but has to abide patriarchy rules. She struggle to read. She's not illiteral but she never been to high school. She never stop learning. She liked cooking and as always she read newspaper and sometimes she tried to write. She has few diary she made her own. For her, education is important but she lack how source since she was a housewife, unsupportive father (my late grandpa, she hated him), and conflict from her family in laws.

Maybe she resent her life but lash it on me. At first I never undestand her behavior. Now, I am adult and understanding her pov. But I don't care anymore. She's gone. At least, no one can hurt her anymore.

Tbh, I wanna write more long sad life stories from my family that I wanna tell but I cannot write in chronology so it might gonna confused a bit to some readers.

Mardrae · 61-69, F

@iamelijah oh that is so sad!!! That probably is exactly what happened when she lashed out at you. She was probably incredibly unhappy inside and tried to be a good mother but had so much anger and resentment inside. But it’s so good that you have realized as an adult what was happening and you can break that cycle. Journaling your memories would probably help too- I have a diary app on my phone that I write my thoughts in when I need to let things out.

cherokeepatti · 70-79, F

@iamelijah that is horrible on both accounts