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KaiserSolze

41-45, F

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Wasted my life entirely

I focused my life around raising my children. I had 4. It was complete.waste of time and I recommend people to avoid doing it. I enjoyed looking after them up until roughly lock down so about 20 years. I did all the baking, knitting, church groups,...

Is it bad I keep my inbox number at 69

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I only just realised I do that. Logged in after years, it was at 69 with no recent messages on the first page lol and now I'm still keeping it at 69.

New Start from now

Last night I threw out a lover. Tomorrow I'm going out with a new friend I got chatting to on Bumble. I met her once before and I like her. Next week I'm going out with an old work colleague. I'm going to go for being up beat and crying in my spare...

When you think of all the whacky future possibilities for the human race what do you hope happens?

Eg, terminator/in time/various space stuff/a world where people are uploaded to AI instead of dieing. Personally I find it all depressing other than the idea that there's life on other planets to explore and maybe time travel. I think the...

Anyone wanna play knock down Ginger with God?

If you was created from the shit of Jesus Christ would that make you better than anyone else?

I'm writing a book. I want opinions.

Who will pray for God😪?

I kidnapped him. He's over worked and under paid... Not paid at all lately. And I won't release him till he outsources to all other God's and Goddesses throughout history including his best friend and arch enemy who's been looking after his wife...

Has anyone seen Tutankhamen?

So Tutankhamen rocked up and said "How's it going?" and I said "yeah sweet mate. How's you?" He said I'm having a great time (he's in prison at the moment for his own protection) but it's getting a bit lively in there so he wants to get out. I...

I Have A Story In A Story

So Tutankhamen rocked up and said "How's it going?" and I said "yeah sweet mate. How's you?" He said I'm having a great time (he's in prison at the moment for his own protection) but it's getting a bit lively in there so he wants to get out. I...

I really do not like my normal. But it's normal and I was aiming at normal.

Time to aim at something else?

In a hostage situation what's the most likely thing I'd do?

I can do with or without but the hostage is 100% important to a secret mission. I paid ransom but no sign. The hostage sent a signal he's in trouble, unable to get to me for some reason but all avenues have proven fruitless. I have two weeks to get...

Being sexed up was last week?

When do you feel like Eric Cartman?

I feel like Eric Cartman now.. "screw you guys I'm going home"... Except I am home so imma just go to sleep instead 😂

How drunk were you last night?

Is the question I asked myself this morning. I vaguely remember sipping jaega bombs and pushing my not bf into the road but I caught him. I did apologise. Unfortunately he recorded me singing out of tune on the way home, so glad his phone got pick...

How long do big trucks take to reverse?

Can somebody stop me?

Imma tell you a secret... 🤥 I'm allowed to lie to myself all I like and nobody can stop me 😝😛😝 You can do it too... There's no law, I double checked 😂🎉🌈😂

Been too serious. Time for silly...

This is the story of why there's only 10 commandments instead of 20... So after me and my brother knocked Moses out with the 20 commandments because we wanted to read them first there was only 15 left to read... We didn't realise The Rock would be...

Donald Trump is illegitimate 🤔😂

Feds allocate 10million to combat violence in rural Alaska?

I forgot what rules are for?

😳Or did I? 🤔👀😜😂😲😵😂... What are rules for again?

Who wants to help me break into Tesla?

I need to leave something there for future reference 😂🔮😂

How shall I balance the karma?

I did a good deed today and told a customer the price including VAT. What shall I do to put my karma score to zero? If anyone knows the Buddah that'd be great right now.

Is my new friend Humbug right?

Due to government brainwashing about marriage, responsibility and contraception the population is becoming less intelligent... Sorry, he blames all of you for being stupid and doesn't take government brainwashing as an excuse 😂

Marriage is a modern concept whether you like it or not. The values you deem traditional are also infact modern. Look at history. People had babies and were not married. They had lots of bastard children. Nobody cared. The Victoria's and man made...

Did you know...

There's a head office for kareoke and a secret underground organisation of kareoke djs that play kareoke soundtracks with hidden subliminal messages in them?

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