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AprilBaby042

36-40, F

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I Want to Have a Lot of Kids One Day

When I was a child I dreamed of having 10 kids. In my much older age, I have come to realize I may not have that many biological children but the dream is very much alive. I think having at least half of that is still very possible. I love being a...

I Always Wanted To Have A Big Family

The older I get the sadder I get realizing that its probably never going to happen for me. I have a great big heart, lots of love, and the head for it but not the kind of look or personality that makes me anybody's one. I'm really a good woman, I...

I Am Annoyed By Loud And Obnoxious People

Its 3 AM here, I was sound asleep and got woke up by some very ungrateful MFs. They know I have to be up in like an hour so what do they do, they open my door and start screaming and hooting, calling people and making sure everyone this side of the...

I Like Hair Bows

I was up to my elbows in hair products this morning. My niece and nephew were over so I did their hair as well as my daughter's while they slept. I felt awesome getting to practice all the stuff I have been watching on YouTube. They looked cute when...

I Have Been To A Baby Shower

I'm headed to one today. They used to be my favorite of special occasions until I had my daughter and didn't get one. Every time I go to one now, it reminds me of how much everyone else is loved and adored and I am not. I do make the effort to buy or...

I Fear For The Future

I grew up being taught by non minorities just how blessed I was to live in a world without racism. It didn't take me long, courtesy of my african American, baby boomer, well educated parents, to know how wrong that lesson was. Fast forward a couple...

I Have A Fear Of Failure

Met my fear head on today. Studied my ass off and failed my final miserably. Everybody had good things to say and it was supposed to be some consolation that I wasn't the only one but I'm devastated. I'm not used to failing at school except when I...

I Love the Sound of a Baby's Laughter

Its hard to believe I ever went through a phase where laughter was killing me. At my worst, when I was sick, laughter would scare me senseless and make me want to rip everyone to shreds. I just knew it was all directed at me and even when people...

I Lack Confidence

When this many people from different places and know you in different capacities, tell you the same thing, that you lack confidence, it might be wise to listen as there's probably some truth to it. Knowing I lack confidence is the easy part, gaining...

I Have a Crush On My Teacher

I know, so juvenile but yes, I have a crush on one of my teachers. He's cute in every way, personality, mannerisms (at school at least), how he treats us and how much he cares. I felt it from the first class I took of his. He's just so smart and has...

I Think About Baby Names

I have a baby name I likely would never use but love it. Its Medisyn for a girl. Its supposed to be American, meaning "gift". For now its a running joke in my family, whenever I save something for the next baby they proudly proclaim "its Medisyn's."...

I Need Someone to Talk to

I envy people who have phones full of numbers of people who they can call and talk to whenever. Who have people who would drop everything to help even if that help is just listening. I come from a large family and am around lots of people yet I don't...

I Cant Believe How Ungrateful Some People Are

Planned a birthday party for two months for my mom and today is the day. We spend all day trying to keep it a surprise. This person takes her here, that person takes her there. I run around getting last minute things. Get to the place and she...

Chest pain...would you go to the 24 hour urgent care?

I've been having chest, arm and leg pain for the past 3 days. I know its anxiety and stress related but its really bothering me. Do you think it would be any benefit to go and ask for something to calm me down?

I Talk to Myself

Of late, its been all positive. That's kind of rare for me. I'll be at school and anxious about a test or something and then I tell myself I can do it, I've got this, you're ready, etc. Little pep talks for myself have been bringing out all kinds of...

I wish I could say happily so but that wouldn't be true. I wish a committed, long and healthy relationship was in the cards for me. I want the white fence, house and kids in the yard. I have lots of love to give but probably will never get to express...

I Want to Be a Nurse

I'm in school for surgical technology. I know, not really nursing related but was my most viable option at the time I enrolled. I finish in November. After that I would like to pursue a BSN. Then a master's program. Ultimately I think I would like to...

I know what I want to say but it takes me hours to write a quick paragraph story. I have to scrutinize it and think about what others might think or how they might comment. Is it too formal, informal, politically correct... I read and reread and...

I Have Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension

Its never good news when you're told you have a rare disease but getting diagnosed with IIH was a huge relief for me. It capped years of being called an attention and drug seeker and never being taken seriously by medical professionals. The disease...

I Have A Birthday Every Year

Today is my birthday. I'm not looking for attention just getting it out there that I have kind of weird emotional feelings towards this day. When I was a kid so many people made me feel special that I just thought it would always be like that. Then I...