I Am Me

Have you ever looked into certain illnesses? As that can make you feel this way, I feel this way all the time, its part of my illness.

The saying 'NO' to people, that's actually part of it too, and it took me until I was in my 20's to be able to start saying NO to people, well, family, some people just take, make you feel guilty into doing things!

Who wants to sit around hearing others shout and speak about stuff I have no interest in? NO NO NO!

Its very hard for lonely people to find other lonely people as we are always alone! :/

I feel just like you. The only time I am truly content, is when I am alone. I love my family and enjoy their company, one or two at a time for an hour or so, but parties, big gatherings? Nuh-uh. No way.

I feel this way. I like my alone time and dislike being too social too often. But I do not get invites to anything, since I have no offline friends.

Yet what is weird is I thrive online and babble on and on with all sorts of people. Offline I am quiet and keep to myself, and do all things alone.

Going out is never what it's cracked up to be. I haven't gone out in a long time. It's always disappointing unless you're going out to really do something, like a concert, movie, or just out to eat. There's really no point in going out drinking!

I am one. I just unblocked and checked to see what he was saying and then I remembered. It's the pervy chats. He has a right to like them, I have a choice to not see them. It's all good. I have no animosity, just nothing in common with the man.

@Venus - I think we might be twins, lol x.

I wish I could advise you regarding this, but it's a problem I face in the real world myself, and have never managed to solve.

I suppose the problem with thinking everything through is that to think you need data, to collect data you need to observe, and when observing you are not joining in...

And that 'self-imposed' ostracism can quickly become a way of life. You become so used to being different, observing, thinking, being on the outside, that it is second nature...

I promise you though, if I do find a solution on how to turn ours brains off and fit it then you will be the first to know x

I forgot to mention, there's nothing wrong with you feeling like that. Everyone is sheepish and feels they have to go do things, and I don't believe they get that much joy out of it!

Perhaps we all just genuinely don't like people very much?

Maybe we should form a help group?

That said, I except hardly anyone would turn up and those that did wouldn't speak to each other...

😊

1961dave:I like going outside,watch movies or go outdoors..
But only with my family or son or a very few friends..maybe just one..
I find it hard to adjust in any group..any group of more than 3 members..

But what troubles me is I can't even say no ..I just feel they might get hurt or follow herd mentality so I go but in my mind,I just dislike another gathering with them..speak rubbish or pass fake smiles..

I admit I am becoming extremely choosy regarding friends and is it healthy even?

Serenitree:I am exactly like you then.
What is wrong with us?Or is there anything wrong even?
I have a completely different defination of friends in my life..I don't need friends to converse..I need friends to be with lifetime..somebody who blends with me easily..coversations flows easily..no fear of being judged..

Not the ones who judge us from far..pass ruthless opinions or irritate us with unwelcome remarks..
Hence I like my alone time coz I don't get anybody so equal to spend time with..

I'm exactly the same. At work I can be sociable and chatty if need be. But I don't do pubs and clubs; I'm not involved with any sports clubs or teams. Nor do I have the desire to be so.
I keep my work life separate from private life. And that often annoys others! I guess there's only so many times you can turn down invites to parties, events etc.
Occasionally I admit. Life can feel lonely.
But I'd far rather that than have loads of people in and out of my life, blurring privacy and personal space boundaries.

Well, I can vouch for myself... I am definitely real, I checked earlier... So that's one real person you have found x

Now, look at all the people who are like you. Can we all have something wrong with us? Well, okay, it is possible, but I don't think preferring one's own company instead of a bunch of people with whom you aren't comfortable is wrong. It isn't wrong.

Whenever anyone tells me they are so lonely or bored, my first piece of advice is always, learn to be your own best friend. You will never be lonely. Learn to love your own thoughts. You will never be bored.

You're welcome Venuscalling, don't let your good nature hurt you. Help yourself!

Joyfulsilence:I can relate so well with you.However,I was a social butterfly just a few years ago.This is happening to me quite often now..and more recurrent..
I don't enjoy company of people whom I have problem in accepting yet can't reject them totally because that'd make us both uncomfortable.
So I hate this midway..not social not unsocial..
Can't say No on face yet can't enjoy their company..
What a dilemma!

Quizling:I wonder why can't I fit?Where am I going wrong possibly?I want to believe that its their fault..I have a problem with fake personality..fake laughter.
I don't buy any compliment easily and try to find out the reason behind it.I can predict who is faking and who is not..
This is my utmost problem.I use brains where. am not supposed to..

But I don't understand why won't I use my brain everywhere..

Venuscalling you really need to start going only if you want to. Why allow yourself to be miserable, that's not healthy. When you're younger you feel you need to go out constantly, as you mature you just start to realize that it's pointless. Some people never realize it. Do what's right for you, and don't feel guilty, you're not doing anything to anyone.

1961dave:Thanks a lot for the support..I think I need to proactively quit...And say NO whenever I want to..


Picklebobble:This is how I feel too..

Keep both lives seperate..or don't participate at all..I am just sick of my offline connections..
They hurt me often..

Maybe its just them x

Yes. It is healthy. It will be better when you find the strength to be busy washing your hair every time they call and invite you to join them, but for now, at least you know that the fake stuff is not your thing.

Serenitree:You made me feel so lighter .I am happy that I am not alone..thanks a lot for the support..
I do feel one should be able to enjoy one's company the most...

Love and peace with our inner self..

Joyfulsilence:I think so..I need a good company of intellectually caring ppl..and someone who is atleast not made up..I need REAL ppl.and unfortunately .the search is still on..

Quizling:You spoke my words..I am increasingly becoming different..and using my brains everywhere which I think is wrong..
very much..but like you,trying hard to resolve..

I just don't want wrong ppl in my life..so I think mental confinement is much better..

This is weird. Two people you replied to in your last post are people I cannot see. I think I had blocked one and the other had blocked me. It is like you are talking to ghosts.

Sorry about that. I am a very fervent atheist who does not believe in anything supernatural and believes only in scientific truth.

Maybe you can find new friends who you can say yes too and really mean it.

I am pervy and like to sex chat at times.

And I have a secret. I think you and I chatted once on Answermug and I ignored you and some other guy there because you both started talking about astrology and I think it is all fake and I got annoyed.

So most people I end up blocking.

It is not a problem. It is OK. It is who you are. If others cannot accept you as who you are, fuck em, I say. Find people who like you for who you are. Yes, maybe you can identify ways to be more appealing, but it may be hard to change too much. And why should you have to? Just be yourself!

Joyfulsilence:I was on answermug that fateful day I admit..But I don't block anyone..
And before I could convince you or carry the conversation forward,you had already suspended the talk.Nevermind.Life gives us chances..

Joyfulsilence:I have no idea which two ppl you are pointing to..But personally I don't think anyone should have a reason to block you.You don't seem controversial at all..