This post may contain Mildly Adult content.

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I am DarkHeaven and these are my thoughts

Mildly AdultUpset

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I appreciate all of you that are so very kind to me here.

I thought I was doing better today earlier, but it’s night now and I’m really not good at all, I’m a bit scared but if you can send my your light, love, or prayers. Whatever you got I’ll take. So many of you are special to me. I truly hope you know that.

[media=https://youtu.be/_4A473ipDtY]

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DragonFruit · 61-69, M

There are people who love you...I know because I’m one of them.
It pains me to see you refer to hating yourself. This is what you need to find a way to overcome, whether by counseling, medication or a combination of the two. Staying in the ward without getting real help with the issue is just a band-aid.
You mention discussing a crisis plan with your psychiatrist....hopefully that entails staying out of the ward if you can and only going in if it’s absolutely necessary to your life and health.
You can’t keep beating yourself up over something you did years ago....it will only drag you down. Please realize that, despite what you might sometimes feel, you are a beautiful and caring person and need to love yourself for who you are (as a number of us do). ❤️

DarkHeaven ·

@DragonFruit my voices make it hard. they don’t like me at all and reinforce everything I don’t like about me already.

DarkHeaven ·

@DragonFruit I wish I was normal. 🖤

ImpeccablyImperfect · 51-55, F

You are special and loved.
Know that.
[media=https://youtu.be/h71sBojjcaI]

(Sending light and loving vibes always)

beermeplease · M

@ImpeccablyImperfect beautiful song...thanks for sharing. @DarkHeaven if you can take an ounce of healing from this that's a giant leap 🫂

DarkHeaven ·

@ImpeccablyImperfect I love Maren Morris so much. #EvenAngelsCry

https://similarworlds.com/thoughts/personal-feelings/1848326-Even-Angels-cry-You-say-Im-an-angel-my-heart-you

MyMonstersAreReal

We are here. Please check in when you can. We love you. Be safe. Xx

DarkHeaven ·

@MyMonstersAreReal we did a crisis plan with my psychiatrist earlier today, but I’m so tired of being away. I really am hating me right now.

caPnAhab · 26-30, M

More than anything, I find comfort in music. Take care @DarkHeaven
[media=https://youtu.be/1qk6-ReWW-U]

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DarkHeaven ·

@caPnAhab I’ve become an expert at telling them what they want to hear. I am so tired of being there. I just wish I was normal.

DarkHeaven ·

@caPnAhab it’s a nice song, ty. Sorry I couldn’t listen last night.

caPnAhab · 26-30, M

@DarkHeaven I'm glad, and that's totally okay

Lilliesandlight · 41-45, F

I'm so sorry you are going through a hard time. I don't know you very well but i can tell you are a good kind person. You deserve peace. Sending you love and light. May the angels look over you and protect you. ❤️🙏

DarkHeaven ·

@Lilliesandlight that’s very kind. I wrote a poem like that here one time. 🖤🙏

https://similarworlds.com/thoughts/personal-feelings/3732775-of-demons-and-angels-of-demons-and-angels-My

beermeplease · M

try and remember life and how we feel about ourselves are better than how we think it is at times. i have crumby days too, but i convince myself that things will get better, they usually do, but sometimes it takes time. i know we are different people but we both have minds. it's just a matter of training it. you will get better 🫂

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beermeplease · M

@DarkHeaven i have read this before... i wish nothing but the best for you. please stay positive and get the help you need..we are all pulling for you ❤️🫂

DarkHeaven ·

@beermeplease I appreciate that, I do. I’m just really not well rn.

beermeplease · M

@DarkHeaven big hugs...take it one day at a time.....you will beat this... 🫂

Guardian · 56-60, M

Hey DH, you're the person I root for. I'm not religious, but I'll send you all the good vibes I can muster from The Universe!

DarkHeaven ·

@Guardian ty 🌸

Wallflow3r

💖💖

DarkHeaven ·

@Wallflow3r 🖤🖤

WillaKissing · 56-60

I pray you that light fills your heart and mine, and you find your place of peace my sweet Friend!

DarkHeaven ·

@WillaKissing ty 🖤🙏

Livingwell · 61-69, M

We are here for you sweet friend. Sending our strength and prayers. 🤗🙏🏻

DarkHeaven ·

@Livingwell ty 🙏

Barefooter25 · 46-50, M

Best wishes and prayers to you my friend!!! ❤️🩷💙🙏

DarkHeaven ·

@Barefooter25 ty 🦋

SageWanderer · 70-79, M

Love, light and positive vibes!🦋

DarkHeaven ·

@SageWanderer ty 🦋

Muthafukajones · 46-50, M

I feel that way as night approaches sometimes. Tonight I’m feeling some regret because I had the day off and wasted it sleeping and doing not much. I’m with you in feeling down. I’m trying to decide what to do next. Maybe a drive or a walk… Im definitely going to do something!

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BLP11520 · 61-69, M

Stay away from things that make you uncomfortable. Realize you can make it through this but not alone. You are not alone ❤️🫂

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BLP11520 · 61-69, M

@DarkHeaven I don’t know sweetheart

BLP11520 · 61-69, M

I just have life experience and care about people

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OldBrit · 61-69, M

Sending love and good vibes your way.

This too shall pass....

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DarkHeaven ·

@OldBrit I don’t know how to accept me. I don’t even like me.

OldBrit · 61-69, M

@DarkHeaven I didn't either. I hated myself towards the end of my addiction. Now I grudgingly acknowledge I'm not all that bad.

DarkHeaven ·

@OldBrit my voices don’t help. they tell me all the worst things about me. I didn’t really sleep last night. Maybe an hour. Per my crisis plan, I have another appointment with my psychiatrist. Probably headed back to the ward for who knows how long. Probably for the best until the get my meds straight. If I have an all out episode I’m fucked. I’m just so tired of being there. I wish I was normal.

Convivial · 26-30, F

[media=https://youtu.be/OV5_LQArLa0]

DarkHeaven ·

@Convivial 🖤🖤

TheLordOfHell · 41-45

Just seeing this. Sending you lots of love and positivity!

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TheLordOfHell · 41-45

@DarkHeaven That was so sweet of her 🤗

DarkHeaven ·

@TheLordOfHell she’s my angel. 😊

TheLordOfHell · 41-45

@DarkHeaven I'm glad you have each other. The very best of luck when you see the doctor. I hope they are able to quickly adjust your meds.

Convivial · 26-30, F

😘

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