@GlitterEater it's actually amazing you said that because my cat gato long deceased now. Got me through the worst time of my life dealing with not only PTSD but the breakup of my one and only marriage. That beautiful child did more for me than I ever did for him and I will always miss him and I hope to see him again one day on the rainbow bridge to heaven
@Iwillwait by the way im truly hoping you find happiness... whether it's being alone or with someone that makes you happy... i pray you find happiness and enjoyment in all things
@AlittleBitGenX I'm kindve there now. My sleeping schedule is all jacked up, too. Granted my job schedule doesn't help anything. But i guess all of this will come to pass
It's not the event itself but your reaction to it that causes stress or hardship. Stoicism teaches us to manage our reactions, allowing us to face difficulties with a balanced mind. As Marcus Aurelius noted, "You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." It's hard to develop that sense of stoicism, but it's what got me through an intense heartbreak.
@Richard65 this is very true. Emotions come to one, many times, without control and then it is how we react to them that truly matters. I dont sacrifice my job or my relationships with family and friends thank God... but I find myself constantly struggling and next thing i know im curled up in a ball crying. Ah well... all things come to pass. 🍻
@astrosandorbits That time, it was instantly met. I’m still sad and it still hurts, but the intensity of that pain doesn’t threaten to crush me anymore.
I'm still getting through it after all this time apparently, as lately I keep getting hurtful flashbacks. Ugh! And I got through it on my own via stress, many tears, etc... Also immersing myself in things I enjoy. I think we just live with it, but the intensity does lessen.
@Magenta i know the intensity truly does lessen... it's only that it's so hard to convince oneself this because in the moment it hurts so bad. I hope you continue progressing healthily in your journey and best wishes to you
Like romantic? Or generic life heartbreak? Over 10 years ago I had one of each both at the same time. A family member’s death and a difficult break up. I’m not over either of them yet. I don’t think I’ll ever be. To get through the worst of it, I told myself It’s like losing a limb. Yes it hurts and yes it requires recovery and repair. You will not live life the same but you can’t lay down a die either. You continue to cope and live as best as you can.
And don’t make the mistake I did in consuming the counsel of close friends and family too much bc they started to get “concerned”. Then many years later I felt really embarrassed and made a set of other bad decisions to prove that hey, I’m ok now. I wished I had mourned much more in private.
@DoubleRings im curious... did you end the relationship or did they end it with you? Ans you have provided a very interesting perspective. Everything and everyone says to always confide in loved ones... and youve told me how doing too much of that can cause issues. I hadnt thought about it. Honestly this last relationship definitely taught me a lot about this.
@astrosandorbits He ended it. Just weeks after the death. It was hard to grieve in so many directions. I still don’t think I did it properly. My situation was rather unique … a death AND a breakup. And no one, incl myself, had any idea how hard it could be.
It’s ok to consult with loved ones but maybe not too much. When I overheard discussions that were being had about me, I had to find a different outlet. I was drawing too much from them, too much attention to myself and I was just making a fool of myself. Counselling wasn’t useful bc I needed help everyday not once biweekly for an hour. I lived alone which didn’t help. One friend (who was male) started to take an interest in me after we were spending time together and talking. I was broken and I had no interest in him so that got really weird especially bc his sister was my really good good friend. I wasn’t going there. The thought of dating was so far removed from my mind to start with. I was hurting too much.
By accident I stumbled upon type of “dating” site and explored it mostly bc I didn’t know what it was. Not everyone on there was looking for dates but friends also. These were strangers to me but a lot of them listened and empathized and really helped me without judgement. They Checked in on me from time, if not out of concern, just to chat through the app. I met some of them locally and even travelled to meet one of them. It was a pleasant distraction but all of them knew I couldn’t possibly date in my frame of mind. Still it made me feel much less alone. I still keep in touch with some of them.
Later I found EP, and made friends there too. And that’s basically how I ended up here too. EP closed so here I am. This is where I come for support.
@astrosandorbits Only if you stay busy and fill it with other experiences that push out the bitter aftertaste and learn that there are also nice things that you can look forward to.
@astrosandorbits 🤔i never for a long time it was when my dad died suddenly in hospital in 2014 with no warning . i went too pieces completely and needed councilling too help me get over it
@smiler2012 so it's as if one tragedy got rid of the other? Or perhaps you hit extreme rock bottom it practically freed you? I'm so sorry and i hope you're doing well
Blasting music that would make me cry or justify the anger with in. Watching movies that would also trigger me and make me cry. I’d cry until I didn’t need to / couldn’t
@rinkydinkydoink it is what they all say. But the "most" in your response is what scares me. Which wounds would be excluded? How will i know it is a wound that will not heal with time?
I watch too many courtroom dramas. The whole "tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth" concept intrigues me. So, I believe the dictum "time heals ALL wounds" is too much to expect. That's all I was going for.
@Lilliesandlight I'm afraid for it to take years for me too. I've been through only one other heartbreak and it took about a year to get over it emotionally
@hunkalove and that's where im at now... that and Bob Dylan and breathing... that's how i got through my last one and it's how im getting through this one...
she made it easy to hate her. Many false police accusations, many court dates and taking my child away from me. It was easy to get over heartbreak when all you feel after that is hatred and anger towards that person
Just took my time to heal. One day at a time and kept assuring myself that it’s not the end of the world. A constant battle between heart and mind till mind won, heart healed and scars faded away.
@Ducky it's so weird.... this is what i have done... but someone earlier mentioned it is like losing a limb. And that's the truth. For a long time she was my everything... and when the breakup happened i decided to hold no communication. I wont look at any of her stuff to prevent putting salt in the wound... but it's like losing a limb and i can't live normally suddenly with all that contact cut off... but i know that in many cases it is the best thing to do in order to heal the best.
Keep distracted and go out with friends and other people who can't even measure up to your ex. Do things your ex didnt like you doing that you loved doing. Stay positive and be a better version of yourself than you were with your ex. Start dressing nicer, working more and taking care of yourself and someone will notice and you'll start seeing it yourself. I hope this helps
