Start with I don't like when you do blah blah blah and stop. This way he won't get any chance to say I am not in the mood to talk or can we talk tomorrow or I am tired I need to sleep etc

Maybe not at a stressful moment, or during an argument. It helps to plan time to talk.

Treat it like delivering bad news. Take them, fire a warning shot that the news isn't going to be good and deliver it. Plenty instructionals online on how to deliver bad news. Doctors do it all the time and the stakes are very high.

At any time
Dont dwell in it as that leads to resentment
Deal with it today as a couple

When things are relatively peaceful. Preface with, "Can we talk?"

Write them a letter

When things are calm and you’re both in a decent mood.

Usually right after sex! If you do it before it ruins the mood, there's a big fight and you have to wait fo r makeup sex...

Normally around 2am and complains about something 3 weeks

Depends on the person

When he does it or when we're in bed

Immediately or it will fester.

While they are doing it, usually works.

Listen... you're really going to have to man up here ok?