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Update: Husband introduced me to someone

I posted about my husband approaching me about wanting me to be with other men. After getting a lot of good advice from people on here he and I have had much deeper and better conversations about the idea and I’ve come to understand better why he wants this and also believe that he is being very sincere and genuine about it

Since those conversations he has introduced me to a guy from his gym, he is an older gentleman, and we have only been texting so far. He seems like an incredibly kind, smart and sweet guy but I feel so nervous chatting with him. Not in a bad way but in that way you would feel when meeting someone new you are interested in.

I suppose these are normal feelings? Even more so considering the circumstances?
helenS · 36-40, F
I was one of those who commented on your earlier post, and I tried to encourage you to go one step further. Wow that was just 3 days ago...
I really appreciate your courage – you are headed in a positive direction! 🌷

Edit: Wow this is receiving many "likes" 😏
WandererTony · 56-60, M
@helenS maybe. I read it. Didnt speak to the woman 😀
jackjjackson · 61-69, M
Maybe not being stuck with a husband is a good thing? @helenS
helenS · 36-40, F
@jackjjackson Well I'm not married, and I can't complain 🤭
Tiredish · F
Did it, and lived to tell about it lol
fortycreek · M
@Tiredish so you date in your marriage
Tiredish · F
@fortycreek It was awhile ago with an ex.
fortycreek · M
@Tiredish im sure it was fun!
TexChik · F
I am too traditional about my marriage. If my husband did suddenly disrespect me and my fidelity to him and wanted to pimp me out to his friends he would find himself divorced. Question is, who is your husband wanting to have sex with that he would be willing to give you away to justify it?
SatinPetals · 31-35, FNew
@Blondily I can certainly understand this perspective for sure.
FelicityDavenport · 26-30, F
@SatinPetals 'Insecure' brings up red flags! That's a worry. He thinks less of himself? Is this going to be the best action for him and you? Hmmmmmm
SatinPetals · 31-35, FNew
@FelicityDavenport that is what gave me pause for the longest time with this. And I’ve talked to him deeply about this in particular, he continuously reassures me it will not be an issue, I have pushed and pushed on this with him for a while but I feel it is genuinely not going to be an issue
Cabernetfranc · 80-89, M
Try it……You will like it. 🤗
Miram · 31-35, F
I have been in an open relationship before , not marriage.
This is something the two of you should have discussed before marriage.
And based on some of your replies, even now, you haven't discussed it properly. You don't have full understanding of why.
If a partner out of nowhere and without any existing marriage issues, suggests an open marriage from my part, even if it is their kink, my thought will be they are trying to catch me cheating to make divorce easier and take over my assets 👀

That aside, most women form bonds and emotional dependencies with those they have physical intimacy with. It will pose a lot of challenges in your relationship. It is not easy to love and care for two or three or four people at the same time. It is time consuming and can be emotionally draining if those connections end up being formed with excessively needy and clingy individuals.

I don't know, but I do think it is wiser to seek out emotional stability as you age, which can mean living a simpler life.
RSquared · 61-69, M
@Miram You are right on target with the statement that it is emotionally draining and takes great time and energy to love even two at once. I went through this myself, twenty five years ago.

I don’t actually think @SatinPetals is looking to be in love with another man however. If she stated that I missed it. She is considering acquiescing to her husband’s desire that she have sex with another man. I know, or rather read, that this is not purely uncommon. Although I have never understood that aspect. I can understand believing in polyamorous relationships. But not strictly to see my partner get in bed with someone else. I’m old fashioned I reckon.
Stuffy · 61-69, F
You are being pushed into this by your husband. Why?
Stuffy · 61-69, F
@SatinPetals ok Lots of people think about things that they would do. But still wouldn’t choose to do. remember you’re in charge of you. It’s up to you.

I would really want to understand why he wants this- I guess he’s told you. I might also want a professional opinion about this.
SatinPetals · 31-35, FNew
@Thewhazzupdude cannot love that anymore, thank you
Convivial · 26-30, F
Variety is the spice of life... Enjoy the experience
WandererTony · 56-60, M
This is interesting. You say your conversation with your husband after getting advice from SWeeps made you convinced that he was sincere. And the gentleman you are interacting with is making you nervous in the anticipation of things to come?
Lady, i have a feeling this is going the way your husband wanted.
All the best. 🙂
ABCDEF7 · M
"Your intuition knows what it’s doing, even when your mind doesn’t." — Anonymous

"When you know deep down something isn’t right for you – whether that’s a relationship or a medical treatment – you don’t always have a logical foundation to follow that feeling." — Anonymous
Lilymoon · F
Congratulations
TheBatQueen · 26-30, F
So far so good I guess
SatinPetals · 31-35, FNew
Well, wish me luck everyone! After chatting with the guy my husband introduced me to we are going to meet for coffee this morning before we both go into work. This was the guys suggestion that way there was no pressure right off the bat. I’m nervous and excited!
Midlifemale · 61-69, M
@SatinPetals good luck
helenS · 36-40, F
@SatinPetals You gotta tell us everything that's going to happen you know that! 😏
SatinPetals · 31-35, FNew
@helenS I’ll update when I get to work!
novaguy2u · 70-79, M
Yes, quite normal to feel nervous under those circumstances. I hope it all goes well in the end.😊
Lostlostlost · 51-55, M
Make sure you tell him everything, how you feel and the conversation with the other man.
Lostlostlost · 51-55, M
@helenS with you even more so
helenS · 36-40, F
@Lostlostlost Oh wow thank you 🌷
Lostlostlost · 51-55, M
@helenS you know I adore you
Shallowaters · 36-40, M
Well if u guys have taken this step.... It's a wonderful experience believe me. Mostly this experiment bring in better understanding among u guys. Just be open and show courage and do what ever ur hearts tell you. But first sit with ur husband and chart out the rules. That's really important
in10RjFox · M
As they say it is all in the mind and our perspective. You can view it as You being a patient and your husband has Doctor, recommending you to other therapists / consultants. Yes, the feelings are normal since it's the first experience.
HumanEarth · F
In my younger years I used partake in multiple partner relationship with an ex. I would do just as @helenS says.

I have been in your shoes and have pluses and minuses of them types of relationships. Trust me they are indeed quite fun and very enjoyable. But it can also lead to jealousy and other stuff as well.

Just always have your eyes open. These type relationships can make or break them apart.

This could lead you to world of great sexual experience that you'll remember for the rest of your life.

Enjoy and have fun. I did it, I have no regrets, and would do it again if my spouse was on board with idea.
helenS · 36-40, F
@HumanEarth
it can also lead to jealousy
Even jealousy can be enjoyable as long as it stays playful, and her husband knows that he, and nobody else, is her man. So I think it's something between the two, with a third person slightly involved.
HumanEarth · F
@helenS I seen jealousy break out into fights or one leaving one for the other. Because they happened to me.

It happens
daddybloke · 46-50, M
i think you are being brave and very understanding just make sure you are happy to proceed and yake your time xx
SatinPetals · 31-35, FNew
@daddybloke thank you. I am getting there, definitely like how things are progressing at this point. Fingers crossed
Yes, those are perfectly normal when meeting someone new you are interested in. Glad to hear you and your husband have discussed this further.
pdockal · 56-60, M
Everybody is different
Are you enjoying the conversations ????
pdockal · 56-60, M
@SatinPetals

Then enjoy it
Have you exchanged selfie with him
SatinPetals · 31-35, FNew
@pdockal yes
pdockal · 56-60, M
@SatinPetals

Very good .... I DMd you .....
MrAverage1965 · 61-69, M
However this goes I hope it works out well for both you and your husband
anoderod55 · 61-69, M
Talking is good . Best of luck to you 🤞
lovingdead · 31-35, M
Make sure to take this slow, if you're being introduced to a person your husband knows I'd ask how long hes known him, at what point in knowing was this a plan...for either of them
SalttyDawg · 70-79, M
Does your hubby want to watch while you have sex with another man or just tell him the details?
SatinPetals · 31-35, FNew
@SalttyDawg just tell him the details
SalttyDawg · 70-79, M
@SatinPetals
Is this a one time thing or is he looking for you to be with the same guy or different guys regularly?
SatinPetals · 31-35, FNew
@SalttyDawg any of the above are possible I believe
Jlhzfromep · M
are you sharing the conversation with your husband or does he not want to know every detail? If so, is it making him happy?
SatinPetals · 31-35, FNew
@Jlhzfromep I am answering any and all questions my husband has. He hasn’t asked an awful lot yet
Jlhzfromep · M
@SatinPetals best of luck on your experiences
fortycreek · M
So he wants you to do this on your own?
SatinPetals · 31-35, FNew
@fortycreek No, we discussed that and he does not want to be involved in any way
fortycreek · M
@SatinPetals might be fun to have a boyfriend
Elisbch · M
@SatinPetals

How would you feel and what would you say if he came to you after a while of being with other men and said he wanted other women and separate from you like your men would be to him?
Midlifemale · 61-69, M
So what's the next step ?
How long have you been married ?
Midlifemale · 61-69, M
@SatinPetals wouldn't the next step be to invite him over to your house and see how attracted he is to you and if you really want him in bed with you ? I'll assume your husband wants to watch
SatinPetals · 31-35, FNew
@Midlifemale no, my husband does not want to watch and we already know there is a mutual physical attraction
Midlifemale · 61-69, M
@SatinPetals so if your husband wants you to enjoy sex more, but with other men as he thinks he can't keep you satisfied, and if you are willing to test the waters, go for it. Text the guy snd go over his house wearing something revealing ....it may just improve your marriage
JollyRoger · 70-79, M
Would you feel ok to share your husband's rationale for wanting you to do this?
SatinPetals · 31-35, FNew
@JollyRoger so, I’m not exactly comfortable sharing this because I don’t want people to pile on him or me

But, the gist of it is that he says he knows he has never satisfied me sexually. And he admits that I’ve never said anything to make him feel that but he can tell and sense it by some things. I’ll leave it at that
JollyRoger · 70-79, M
@SatinPetals May I suggest that you take that 'revelation' back to him and offer to teach him how to pleasure you? There's more than one way to address this problem than for you to take the easy way out....That 'easy way' might be more emotionally painful to both of you afterwards...and you won't be able to step backwards from it.
SatinPetals · 31-35, FNew
@JollyRoger I have. We’ve had lots of conversations around that over the years
This looks like one of those 🙄 posts that will never go away. Thank admin. for the "hide" button. 👍
kutee · T
dont do it, it will endin tears, it might be anice fantasy, but in reality,its bad
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helenS · 36-40, F
@Glassysky Most certainly there are! 😏
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cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@4meAndyou They should all be weeded out and dealt with severely. No telling how many other victims there were that never came forward. Those who target children or anyone with special needs are the bottom of the barrel.
WandererTony · 56-60, M
@cherokeepatti tricked. Wouldnt say the same for this one. This is a fetish that seems to be working out.
SatinPetals · 31-35, FNew
@cherokeepatti not sure how this got lumped into my thread. While I agree I would appreciate it if you took this elsewhere

 
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