Love & Attraction

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My husband says he is not physically attracted to me and what should I do to make him get attracted to me?We recently got married.He’s 9yr older to me

1-50 of 54

Girl gtfo of that toxic relationship and find someone who thinks you look so good they'd drink your bathwater. They're out there.

Ferric67 · M

@DearAmbellina2113 you're not wrong ambellina

Livingwell · 61-69, M

As young as you are, I'd say adios and find another man that appreciates you. Life is too short.

Scribbles · 36-40, F

Erm, you can't make someone become attracted to you. Have you asked him why he waited until after you got married to tell you that?

perceptivei · 36-40, F

@Scribbles Sounds like a controlling and abusive saxk of shit.

JesseInTX · 51-55, M

You are headed down the road of domestic abuse and controlling behavior. Get out while you can. Sorry, but that’s the reality.

being · 36-40, F

I'm so sorry dear.. It's definitely his issues but are you willing to share a life where you would need to put a ton of work in just to make it bareable and perhaps one day it will be good ?
It's totally up to you but from here it sounds like it's going to take long with lots of efforts before this can work in a balanced way....

JustGoneNow

@being sounds like grooming for abuse behavior later.

being · 36-40, F

@JustGoneNow yes but she's just gotten married. I don't know what's more realistic to tell. Run away would be best, but who just gets married and runs away. It takes some time to see things....
Also I have my sister as an example. They had plenty of issues with her husband but she's very aware and tries to make it work. They both do, despite the problems that appear.
Also, not being attracted by your spouse is a more common thing I believe than what's admitted after a few years. This happening too soon, I agree, but there's a tiny possibility to work things out and solve this obstacle once and for all.
What's bothering me but at the same time I think it's good, is this level of honesty to admit something that hurtful.

JustGoneNow

@being 💯 to all. 🖤🤗

meggie · F

What a horrible man. I bet he says that as a controlling way to keep you down and feel ugly. My ex used to make me sit facing the corner and the one night I didn't I realised why, as I wasn't ugly and got some looks from other men and he was furious. Get dressed up and go out with your mates and see for yourself. Don't let him ruin your confidence.

ViciDraco · 36-40, M

This is a common red flag for narcissists and abusers. They don't begin with the worst of the behaviors. They start by tearing you down in little ways, bit by bit. So that when they do reveal themselves you do not have the self esteem to believe you deserve better.

I cannot say for sure this is what is happening here as I don't have all of the context. But I would be immediately on alert and discussing divorce options to show you aren't going to sit around and take it.

ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F

Leave. You can’t change the situation. You can’t change his lack of attraction to you. We can’t help to whom we’re attracted. It’s either there, or it’s not. You’re young. Move on.

SW-User

WTF ..

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JustGoneNow

@SW-User exactly. fuck that, I’d be out.

SW-User

@JustGoneNow same .
Where's the annulment?

JustGoneNow

@SW-User yup.

Fulcrum · 31-35, F

Omg, I'm so sorry. I think you should explore options of getting out of this relationship.

in10RjFox · M

Did you ask why he married you in the first place? Was it that your marriage was arranged and both of you had no choice?

Anyway now that you are married, you can also work things in the dark.. so just cut the light out in the room or get him blindfolded.. and give him the full course.

After a few sessions, your physical attraction wouldn't matter.

SW-User

Recently married ? And he already said that.

Then why the F### he agreed to the marriage.

Leave him.

BiasForAction · M

You can’t turn that around with a snap of the fingers

iamBen · M

Why in the world would your husband marry you and not be physically attracted to you? Sounds like a red flag to me. No offense, but is he trying to manipulate you in some way? How about asking him what he's attracted to then decide for yourself if that's what you want for yourself.

TexChik · F

Get an annulment.

View 5 more replies »

TexChik · F

@Coletracer What is for supper? We are having brisket tacos and fresh guacamole .

Coletracer · M

@TexChik I'm having beef tips and gravy over mashed potatoes and leftovers.

TexChik · F

@Coletracer Sounds good

Soossie

I don’t want you to feel bad about what I’m going to say, but that’s abuse … don’t let him talk to you like that and get out of that marriage …. otherwise he will treat you worse gradually …

StevetheSleeve · 31-35, M

Have a talk with him about it. Why does he have this attitude? Is it something in his mind that’s repairable, or is he someone you should give up on?

fun4us2b · M

Very sorry - you're young, do everything you can to protect your heart.

Then...talk to a good lawyer and take his ass to the cleaners!

SW-User

That's awful!! Why did you get married if he's not physically attracted to you?? I would run!

SmileOnYourBrother

You should dump him, marry someone over 50 on Similar Worlds and be "stunning"

perceptivei · 36-40, F

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. That's sad. I wouldn't want to be with him after that... I'd have to leave. I'd look at him completely different, too.

My boyfriend is overweight and bald. I'm more attracted to him than I have been any boyfriend. Your husband is a sorry excuse for a man. He's definitely not a real husband. Disgusting.

SW-User

Time for him to go.

Muthafukajones · 46-50, M

He shouldn’t have married you if he felt that way. With that said it’s hard to say what you should do to improve things without seeing you. If you keep yourself clean and maintain a healthy weight and try to look attractive it should keep his interest.

Lilymoon · F

Take a hike

Jill1990 · 31-35, F

Trade him in

AlyAngel · F

Runaway

Northwest · M

If he's not attracted to you, why did he marry you? Did he explain that? Did you go over your expectations of each other, before you got married?

hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M

So why do you place such emphasis on physical attraction? He may well have ED and is trying to blame you for what he sees as his own inadequacy.

DaveE54 · 56-60, MVIP

Why should you do anything the guy is a dick. Don’t change yourself for that worthless piece of shit. Go find a proper guy who will love you for who you are x