Husband likes to dancing with me, to see if women flirt with him

@Nanori oh shit!! Lmfao

@Tengo Or probably you yourself are that men who knows.

@Tengo The opposite for me. My wife is the jealous type and she will confront a woman who gets too close. Just the way she is.

@Tengo Maybe you don't need to solve it right away. Maybe the time will come, when he's finally had time to mull things over and process them (with the occasional reminder), that he'll finally be ready. I think relationships often require great patience, and we almost always never appreciate each other as much as we wish we could. If you don't think he intentionally meant it as hurtful, it might've just been a poor joke with bad taste.

@SnailTeeth indeed, I am certain he didn’t say it to hurt me but that it is his truth. Probably many men would like some spice after 25 years of marriage. I cannot control his feelings but I would like not to feel so hurt by his words.

@Tengo I could hypothesise. I could argue it was self-deprecation, and postulate he just wanted to see you roll your eyes and chuckle at the absurdity. I wasn't there, I didn't here the tone, I didn't see it, I didn't experience it. And even if I did, I'm sure I could convince myself of the worst thoughts if that's what I habitually wanted to think about someone. I don't know what's going on behind your closed doors. I don't know either of you personally. And even if I did, I could still be just giving a response echoing whatever distortions I'm battling.
It's understandable to feel hurt, or overlooked. But I don't think you need someone else to help you finish feeling that in order to work with it. I don't think confession always yields vindication or catharsis, at worst it's sometimes underwhelming in comparison to what we were expecting, esp. if our expectations of the answer are ambiguously lofty, or overly rigid.

I do think talking about it works as a sounding board to process things though. I think finding a neutral confidant, who won't try to sensationalise or spin things is helpful. I think maybe you're just processing this, and I hope it doesn't snowball into more. Sometimes familiarity is the most opulent luxury we take for granted.

@Scribbles i did, i am an open book. It didn’t go very welll as he told me he cannot change.

@Tengo Wow, he's not even going to try?

Your husband is a dick, since he cares more about hurting his wife's feelings and using her for a quick ego boost from other women. I'm really sorry he treats you that way. It's not right.

Nah that’s a vague outlook to have re commitment

Different hats for different cats

That’s for sure … lol being so passive when it comes to a relationship is borderline swingers …

Admiration on the other hand … that’s different 😌✨@PepsiColaP

@Elanor agree to disagree haha

😎🤭😄@PepsiColaP

@revenant Either he wasn't thinking, or he was intentionally trying to hurt her. 😞

@perceptivei nasty

@revenant I hope he didn't mean it.

@ServantOfTheGoddess Maybe he was jealous of men looking at her! 🫢

@perceptivei very possible!

@REMsleep
As I´ve said and more cos of pragmatics than cos... whatever higher I trend to agree with you.
Have even so some hard 2nd thoughts about.
That is precisely the respect for being in a marriage what he is not having.
And that what IMO (just IMO of course) makes a LTR of value (and so respectable) is what yo do about and not the other way round.
May be I´m personaly biased by my experiences.
When in a relationship I never had eyes for any other woman and neither even been aware of if they gave me that kind of attention.

@ElRengo Thats admirable and increasingly rare.

@REMsleep
Thank you so much!
Not a virtue, even so.
There is no special merit in doing things like I want them to be.

@DrWatson no, he knows I don’t like to flirt or seduce other men because I find it immoral. I don’t want to make a man lose his time with me since nothing will happen as long as I am married. I know flirting can be like a game but I feel uncomfortable pretending. I am an open book and don’t play game, especially with other people’s feelings. My husband would like me to feel less serious about it and flirt like anyone else. He won’t agree for me to have a relationship with someone else but told me that if men ate interested in me, it makes me a woman (and not a mom for example).

@Tengo In that case, I would say that he is not being very respectful of you at all.

@SW-User I agree

@Carissimi I hope it isn't true.

@perceptivei no, no argueing, just answering the psychologists’ question if he enjoyed going out to dance together as much as I do (did).

@Tengo Urgh. He was trying to hurt you. Whatever. I don't believe him.


Everyone is worried about change. He noticed men looking at YOU! Or, he's afraid it might happen.


He's mean for saying that. But, you know him better than we do. Is he always mean? If not, find out why he's feeling so insecure.

@StevetheSleeve he lacks self confidence and is always looking for recognition, in anything he does.

@Tengo Oh. But he should know you better than to talk to you like that.

@mynameisbradley I won’t. I am looking for friends to go dancing with me. I always try to remember that we are responsible for our own happiness but I am very disappointed that I didn’t catch that for 25 years.

@Mamapolo2016 no, it happened during a counseling session where we had to say what we love to do together. The psychologist asked him if he shared my love for dancing together. He then gave a reply I was not expecting and made my heart shatter in a million pieces.

@Tengo Makes me sad for you. My ex-husband had a habit of saying such things. It stings.

I hope the counselor can help.

@Virgo79 we live in Spain and women here don’t hesitate to flirt with men in front of their partners…

@Tengo damn! Ruins that idea😏

@mindless nope, he was dead serious

@Timetoo he loves it.

@Tengo does he tell you that or you can just tell by his reaction that he loves men flirting with his wife?

@Tengo Do you think he flirts with other women as a way to get you to flirt with other men? Maybe as…. If I am doing it, it is ok for you to do it too. It seems that is something he wants you to do.

@Ingwe in those 👀

@allygator18 I wish. We discussed it and he reiterated the same thought. He needs to feel young and desired by other women.