If your friend is smoking two packs a day, drinking a 12 pack of beer, and knocking down 3 big macs a day........

Why not both.

"I love you just the way you are. And because I love you, I care about your well being. So I want to urge you to please make some changes, because you are killing yourself, and I hate to see that."

Losing weight is not a prerequisite for being loved, but that does not mean I need to be complacent about the person's weight. There is a difference between loving a person and enabling a person.

Buy him life insurance and be the sole beneficiary

So what do you propose?

Confront him about it?

He's already using three types of addiction to hold himself together 🤷‍♀️

Ive seen how this rolls, from both sides - denial and anger. I did it. My Friend i tried to help did it.


You'll lose a friend.....and so will he .



Id tread very, very VERY carefully .

Borrow all of his good tools? 😉

I would never criticize anyone because of his or her way of life. Some people are rather abstinent (like myself), and others enjoy life to the fullest. Who am I to judge?

I had a friend like that. He committed suicide.
There was not much I could tell him other than that understand he was going through a lot.

Because those are heavy cases.
Difficult. Just let him know that you understand.
And yes now and then say something about their bad habits. Or rather, do something, like invite him for dinner.
But not try much. Just a little bit, so the other is aware of your thoughts but not putting pressure anywhere

I think they’re still lovable just the way they are, and hopefully being loved and accepted will help them love themselves enough to make positive changes. I don’t think we need to blow smoke and say everything is going to be okay without those changes, although to be fair, we all might have a different definition of “okay.” To some, a short but intense love affair with the Big Mac might be preferable to a long but chilly relationship with celery. The broader issue of widespread ill health is the result of creating a world where the path of least resistance is the widest and maintaining good health has become dependent on making a conscious effort to do so, particularly here in the land of excess.

So many public service announcements these days...they gotta know it's unhealthy.

No we are not doing our friends any favours by lying to them

Personally i think they know what’s wrong or right and what they probably need in that moment isn’t someone who tells them what they need to do but someone who stays close to them and tries to understand them

One adult, who is not a member of the other adult's family, can not be in charge of telling the other adult how to live.

I would take a humorous route to try to help your friend. Promise him a whuppin' or some such thing, while laughing...if he doesn't change his "Redneck habits".

Hand him a brochure for a cardiologist's office, or a brochure showing photos of the different stages of lung cancer and tell him that they were mailed to HIS address but you received them by mistake...and then laugh and say, "Just kidding!"

Eventually, the light approach, with humor, will impress on your friend that you care about his health, and that what he is doing is self harm.

I smoke everyday, drink on different occasions, and eat healthier than I used to. But I am not a perfect vegetarian with a sculpted body however I guarantee that I am as strong as a bull. Society's new perfect image of carefully crafted vegan individuals with nifty beards and skinny jeans personally just makes me puke. If you are concerned about their health just say that and just say that you care but holding them into a comparison with a Ken doll just is not realistic

What is the root cause of all of this? I noticed that people who drink too much are often "self medicated" and mainy people who smoke, which is an addiction, no different than any other drug, also often have mental health issues sometimes caused by the addiction itself.

You are going to tell him anything they don't already know by the "not healthy speech" but i you want to take the larger step of figuring out how to find them resources and help for whatever life conditions are causing the behavior described you are doing something to address the issues and not just the symptoms.

So what do you propose?

Confront him about it?

He's already using three types of addiction to hold himself together 🤷‍♀️

Ive seen how this rolls, from both sides - denial and anger. I did it. My Friend i tried to help did it.


You'll lose a friend.....and so will he .



Id tread very, very VERY carefully .

Yes, they will know you care and might even take the advise or at least think about it.

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
I think about this a lot.

Bah!
I'd say he's a lighweight in the eating and drinking stakes.

had a great uncle that smoked 4 packs a day (unfiltered/lucky strikes), drank liquor daily (Jack & Jim), and ate all the buttery, fatty, high cholesterol stuff that the "experts" claim kills you...

He lived to be 101, and was more active/stronger than many people 1/3rd his age...

Seem like a lot of people feel you could actually lose a friend by bringing this up by trying to help them...I never experienced this but must be true based on these answers. So with that - I guess the best thing is to just be there, trying to get them to talk or vent...

I mean, I ain't his parent. As a friend I could give some observations if he is open to it but honestly it's his life. And if he was a good friend, I'd respect that and love him irregardless.

This is trauma .. food brings him comfort.. smoking eases anxiety ..and drinking hides their true feelings .. one might ask why the addiction .. but some who is there to help would ask “why the pain” ..

If you could get him addicted to working: hed leave half of that mess by the wayside.

I’d confront. Yeah, you could lose a friend, but he’s dead soon anyway barring some crazy genes.

@YourMomsSecretCrush 🤔well how can you say it is alright what he doing too himself when you know it is not. this friend must be crazy not too the damjage they are doing to themselves with such an unhealth diet

Hehe not me😂i am well known to talk about vitamins,etc to my friends but they still luv me although sometimes I can be annoying..

Wow he spends a fair bit in a day. Where I am, a big Mac is almost ten dollars and a pack of brand name cigarettes is over twenty.

Some people are delusion and think they're fine the way they are aka "plus sized" social media influencers

No. They're probably doing it out of guilt. Punishing them will only make them do it more.

Don’t sugarcoat it.. Theyl prolly eat that too…

Get his note on the side of some buses?

Drop off a nice salad.

always say how u feel

I would tell that mother that his body isn't doing wrong by him so why is he doing wrong by it 😤😤😤😤

It's better to try than not say anything at all and have regrets

I would tell them I am worried about the choices they are making for fhemseves and tell them if they want the help I am here.

I wouldn’t tell them things would be okay, because they won’t be.

Tread carefully and speak wisely to a man who has nothing he wants to live for.

I take it you don't carry a McDonald's points card in your wallet?

The latter, if they die without me saying something i wouldnt be able to live with myself.