Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F
I think, I'm kinder now because I don't just go along to get along any longer.
The above may seem kind, but it's deceptive really and how can that help anyone?
Before, I was protecting myself at the cost of truth.
And although, I don't believe in brutal honesty I do believe in honesty and you can speak it kindly.
The above may seem kind, but it's deceptive really and how can that help anyone?
Before, I was protecting myself at the cost of truth.
And although, I don't believe in brutal honesty I do believe in honesty and you can speak it kindly.
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Adogslife · 61-69, M
@LadyBronte Do you find that to be the same at work as welll? Meaning, are you more apt to be curt at work or home?
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@Adogslife I am retired now, so I can't answer that. I suspect, though, at work, I would remain professional and compassionate toward patients, their families and dmy co-workers. I say that because when I was still working, it never mattered if I wasn't feeling well, or if I was having a bad day. I didn't bring personal baggage to work.
Livingwell · 61-69, M
I'm about the same. I've always been a giving person be it time or money. I wish more people would take the time to give one in need attention. It could make a huge difference.
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@Livingwell Good. I am not surprised. I do still offer kindnesses in word and deed, but not as readily or as easily as I once did. Difficult life events have changed me, and I'm not sure I'll ever get that part of me back.
ScreamingFox · 41-45, F
I'm definitely not as sweet as I used to be. I'm working on being kind and not caring if people appreciate it or are kind in return, because that's the person I want to be. I can't change anyone, I can't change the world, but I can live true to myself.
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@ScreamingFox That's wonderful. I work hard at being compassionate and kind, but it is not as natural or easy for me as it once was. My tank is running dry and I have less to share than I once did. I am alright with it, and I do offer myself grace when I fall short, because I still try and that's the best I can do right now. 🤷🏼♀
ScreamingFox · 41-45, F
@LadyBronte absolutely. We must not empty ourselves for others. It's unfortunate there isn't more love out there to be had, but we can still give what we can.
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@ScreamingFox I'm afraid I learned that lesson far too late. 😒
exexec · 70-79, C
I was taught to be kind as a child, but I think I have grown kinder as I have aged. Part of the reason is that I have gotten to know people across a wider spectrum of society and have a better understanding of their situations and needs.
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@exexec Very nice. I do feel like I understand people, more now than when I was younger - I am one to think about what makes peoplebl tick - act and react the way they do. But in the scheme of things, I don't believe I am generally as kind as I once was.
twistedrope · 26-30, M
I was cruel, hurtful and hateful. The younger me had kindness but much as personalities do, it revolved between small kindness, hurtfulness and critisism as well as targeting weakness and asserting superiority. A learned behaviour I am sure. It was difficult, but I unmade it. Though it wasn't easy. I am far kinder now than I have ever been in my life, and morr constant about it :)
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@twistedrope Good for you! I hope you always remain so and life doesn't make you hard.
twistedrope · 26-30, M
@LadyBronte Thank you that's very kind of you. I do ma best
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@twistedrope You're welcome
PerfectionOfTheHeart · 46-50, F
I was more kind when I was ignorant to the ways of people. And being a people pleaser made me ignore red flags I shouldn’t have. But with more exposure to their cruelty, my heart has been worn down a bit but it sort of needed to be so I could see certain people for what they really are and act accordingly for my own self-preservation.
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@PerfectionOfTheHeart Exactly this for me too. I no longer accept people at face value. They either prove themselves to be who they say they are, or I waste no time on them. While it may sound cold, it is, like you say, for self preservation. I do think as my heart has worn down, it has also become harder and less resilient.
SumKindaMunster · 51-55, M
I'm kinder to the people in my life now, family, friends, work mates.
Less kind to strangers and unknowns. Got burned a few times trusting people, now I am much more cautious.
Less kind to strangers and unknowns. Got burned a few times trusting people, now I am much more cautious.
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@SumKindaMunster Second paragraph - same for me. I'm not taking that bullet again.
FoxyQueen · 51-55, F
It's about the same really. I am more understanding of others and probably more patient, but I don't think my kindness has gotten any less, at least.
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@FoxyQueen Good for you. I wish I could say the same.🤷🏼♀
FoxyQueen · 51-55, F
@LadyBronte I'm really only unkind to someone when they give me reason.
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@FoxyQueen Same here, but even just a few years ago, I would have tried to diffuse the situation. Not any more. I either react in kind or, more often than not, turn and walk away.
Adogslife · 61-69, M
Absolutely not. I was an ass when I was younger, oozing with confidence, yet I’d proven nothing in the larger scheme of things. I was driven. If someone asked me what kindness was, it might of stopped me in my tracks.
Now, the opposite is true. I’m extremely kind. I’m still very driven, but it’s not self centered. I love people, helping, teaching and being charitable.
I owe ALL of that to the women in my life. Women are great teachers. They are the ones that have added substance and depth to my life. That’s what now helps me to be so centered, calm and kind. It’s all about great women and age. There’s no better substitute.
Now, the opposite is true. I’m extremely kind. I’m still very driven, but it’s not self centered. I love people, helping, teaching and being charitable.
I owe ALL of that to the women in my life. Women are great teachers. They are the ones that have added substance and depth to my life. That’s what now helps me to be so centered, calm and kind. It’s all about great women and age. There’s no better substitute.
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@Adogslife I have always appreciated your attitude and positivity - your kindness to me - from the moment we spoke while both watching that same home improvement/renovation show. Lol. You come across as kind and easy-going, and now that it has been years, I can see it is the real deal and not an act. Don't ever change or let life strip you of that genuine-ness. The world needs more of your kind. ❤
Adogslife · 61-69, M
@LadyBronte Thank you so much. Your friendship is genuinely appreciated. ❤
BrandNewMan · M
Probably a bit less so now .. in that I am more likely to treat people "in kind" now. I'm nice/kind unless given enough reason to respond in kind instead.
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@BrandNewMan I agree with this. It stems from lessons learned.
I was extremely humble. 😢
Much, much more than now I’m sad to say. Life has a way of doing that when it beats down on us too hard…
But I am wiser now without a doubt!
Much, much more than now I’m sad to say. Life has a way of doing that when it beats down on us too hard…
But I am wiser now without a doubt!
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@Unefilletrescurieuse "Life has a way of doing that when it beats down on us too hard..."I understand and I agree.
@LadyBronte 🫂
Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
Thirty odd years in the care sector would suggest I've been pretty consistent with my level of kindness.
Although I have to admit my tolerance for people who are 'paid to know better' is pretty thin these days
Although I have to admit my tolerance for people who are 'paid to know better' is pretty thin these days
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@Picklebobble2 I do get that. After working as an RN with others RNs, CNAs, Dr.s, etc. who SHOULD have compassion for patients, I have absolutely zero patience for those who are only there for the paycheck. But then again, I never, at any age, had patience for that kind of attitude. I won't apologize for it either. 🤷🏼♀
Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
@LadyBronte Totally agree
ChipmunkErnie · 70-79, M
Not really sure. I like to think I am a bit more understanding of people's weaknesses now that I'm older, but I don't know if I'm actually kinder. If anything, getting older might have made me more accepting that shit happens and I can't help.
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@ChipmunkErnie I have always seen you as a kind person here. Yeah, it seems that when we're younger, we think we can change the world. But with age comes the wisdom to see, there are some things that are and will ever be unchangeable.
CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
I used to be innocently kind as a child. Now I'm too paranoid and think too much about transactions and potential risks of not minding my own business.
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@CrazyMusicLover Life has a way of messing with our hearts and beliefs.
Nunki · 31-35, F
I've always been kind but I'm less naive now
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@Nunki Yes, I used to naively believe everyone was kind until they proved otherwise. Now, it is the complete opposite.
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
If anything, i have become more empathetic.
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@samueltyler2 Good for you. The world needs kind people.
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
@LadyBronte i think my early life and background set the foundation. It is always nature v nurture or some combination. I have always had more right brain dominance, aka more feminine, despite being heterosexual.
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@samueltyler2 We are have our natural proclivities.
Jacko1971 · 51-55, M
I don't know about kinder. I had more patience than I do now.
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@Jacko1971 Yeah. I get that.
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LaurenRae · 22-25, F
i was definitely more kind when i was younger.. i’m still nice as hell, buttttt i don’t take no crap & will tell someone off whereas when i was younger i let everyone walk all over me 🤧
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@LaurenRae Sounds a lot like me. But I have to work harder at that kindness now than I used to.
Nitedoc · 51-55, M
No, not at all.
HowtoDestroyAngels · 46-50, M
I've gotten a hell of a lot better at being kind now.
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@HowtoDestroyAngels Good for you. I can't say that. 🤷🏼♀
Thevy29 · 41-45, M
I'm getting more cynical with age
@Thevy29 me too with this world and all it has to offer…
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@Thevy29 As am I.
gregloa · 61-69, M
I don’t know yet.
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@gregloa Fair enough.
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LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@BohoBabe Kids are odd that way. Lol. At least you grew out of it. Some never do. 🤷🏼♀
BohoBabe · M
@LadyBronte Well I also have a strict dad, that helped. ☺
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@BohoBabe Lol. That's not often appreciated until we get older. I had one too.
BlobbyMcBlobface · 100+, M
Maturing like a fine wine
LadyBronte · 61-69, F
@BlobbyMcBlobface That's all one can ask for.