When does death of a close love one hit you?

The death of my dad was a long time coming and we were all very very prepared for it and knew for months that he wasn't coming out of the hospital. I wasn't distraught but I was lightly sick for months and think about him often now. My eulogy for him was like 45 minutes as I told a huge room his entire life history cause it was amazing and nobody really knew it beyond my mom and a few old stories.

So I'm at peace with it as much as anyone can be and when it comes to the death of a parent I had it easy despite him going ten years too young.

As Frostcloud said, there's no right way to grieve. There's just grief.

grief is weird. you may be experiencing some sense of denial, possibly. i'm in a grief forum and it's not terribly uncommon for it to hit people weeks after the fact, if not longer. maybe it won't hit you, or maybe not in the way you expect it to. i worried a lot i wasn't grieving properly when i lost my mom. nothing about grieving feels "right" imo, even if you grieve more traditionally. and maybe that's why most people acknowledge there's no "right" way to grieve, and everyone grieves differently

i'm sorry for your loss 🖤

You may not feel it now, but it will hit you.

The day the state trooper informed me of my son's suicide I was shocked, I had just seen my son the night before. The next week with arranging the funeral and stuff with my ex-wife and delivering his Eulogy at his funeral service I was numb and in disbelief. After the funeral service I collapsed and went with my son's friends to have a Fairwell dinner at my son's favorite restaurant where everyone shared stories about my son with me. The next day I woke up and the anger and grief hit me like a 100 mile an hour freight train, then I stayed pissed off and angry for 3 years until I sought grief counseling and PTSD counseling from my military service as well.

No, you are not an ass.

Grief is a result of many things and we all feel it in different ways.

The grief hit me hard about my father when I was at the funeral and I 'covered' him as they call it. In covering him, I touched his chin and the reality of his death hit me. But it wasn't his death that hit me hard, it was the fact that we hadn't seen each other in years and we never reconciled or had a heart to heart talk to understand each other. I am like him and learned to hold my feelings inside and not show them and not talk about them. We were never told he was sick so none of us had a chance to talk with him or see him before he died.

I lost my mom but not being able to go to her funeral is probably why the grief is subtle and difficult to define or feel. But I was able to talk to her the night before she passed.

I haven't lost any friends as in death, but I've had many where we lose touch and never see again. I don't grieve. It is just part of life and I accept the loss. I think I would feel the same if I found out someone I had been close with died. It might sound cold but it is just how I process things.

You'll find it comes in waves somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them.

For me, it took years before I wasn’t thinking about it everyday. I still think about it most days and I miss him everyday. I still don't think I've fully recovered from it.

I’m very sorry for your loss.
Like @Frostcloud said, grief is weird, and sometimes doesn’t hit you right away; you’re in shock until it sinks in. Don’t give yourself a hard time; just because you don’t fall apart, cry, etc. doesn’t mean you didn’t love the person or aren’t grieving. Sometimes the rest comes later—often when you’re not expecting it. 🥺

People grieve in their own way, in their own time. It's still very new, you may feel differently in a day, a week, a month or whenever.

No, all feel and accept a loss in their own way. It doesn’t mean you don’t miss them🌹

It's resonated enough to spawn this post, so it will probably surface at some point. May or may not inspire deep contemplation or the urge to honor that person's life and how it touched your own

I'm going through this right now. Though I don't like talking about it. It hasn't really been a good month for me.

Sometimes it can take a while. Days, weeks, months, years. You really never know. It took a couple years for my grandmother's death to hit me and then just one day out of the blue I was completely wrecked.

Sometime takes time to sink in...a nice neighbor passed prematurely and it really hit me at his funeral.

I forgot to say sorry for your loss my friend.

No you're not an ass, you're a human being. You have your own coping mechanism. Tomorrow, next week, next month, etc...itll hit you and youll grieve the way you should regardless on how "normal" may dictate to others.

Cheers to healing through grief, and r.i.p. to your friend.

It has hit me so many times i'm almost out of tears

Sometimes it takes a while to sink in. I get bouts of missing my grandmother now

There is no rulebook for grief. It may not hit you for some time or not at all.

Nope, not an ass at all. I cried more when my dog died than i did with my parents.

It is very different each time.

Maybe you're still in shock

It comes when it does. It can not be rushed