He wants children but I dont

It’s important to acknowledge that while he may want a child, you would be the one carrying the baby, enduring the physical and emotional toll of pregnancy, and going through a life-changing transformation. Pregnancy is hard on your body, your mind, and your sense of self it’s a physically demanding and sometimes mentally overwhelming journey. The process of birth itself can come with serious complications, both during and after. And even after giving birth, things don’t just settle down. The constant cycle of sleepless nights, feeding every few hours, and the never-ending demands of caring for a newborn can leave you feeling drained and disconnected from your old self.

As your child grows, new challenges arise testing your patience, requiring your time, and demanding your attention. And, of course, there are financial responsibilities that don’t magically take care of themselves. Wanting a child is one thing, but living through the reality of parenthood is a whole different ball game. If you’re not fully prepared, it’s okay to question whether you’re ready to bring a life into the world not just to fulfill someone else’s dream, but for the long haul, for both your sake and the child’s.
If you’re not ready, don’t feel pressured to make such a monumental decision just to avoid blame or guilt.

The reality of motherhood isn’t always easy, and if you’re shouldering the emotional and physical weight alone, you deserve to feel supported, not blamed. Make this choice for yourself, not out of fear or obligation to anyone else.

It's not your obligation to achieve his life goals. I assume you were very, very clear and open about this BEFORE you got married?

A lot of how this will go will depend on how it was set up. The best case for you is that you've been clear and unwavering. The worst is that you didn't tell him, and so now it's new.

In the end, the back story only changes how the conversation goes, but not it's content or outcome. He can't force you to have his child. If he won't respect you or simple can't accept your choice, you both need to move on.

A child is a father’s immortality ..... his way of living on, even after his breath has stilled, even when his eyes no longer open, even when he exists only as a memory to others. In his children, he continues to live — it’s his way of leaving a piece of his spirit behind, a quiet promise that he will never be truly gone.

You are right .... as time passes, it becomes harder for him to believe that love alone is enough to fill that emptiness. When he looks into the mirror he sees his image slowly fading, it must ache deeply inside.

So if your heart tells you that you don’t wish to have a child, then face that truth together — with honesty, courage, and love. Because some decisions, though painful, are what define the deepest kind of understanding between two souls.

My 1st wife had 3 children from her 1st husband. He died so i brought them up as my own. I never wanted any more kids but she insisted we have one so i would have a child of my own. We had a girl and then she had an affair and we devorced. I have 4 kids and happy Now remarried and my kids accept her and she is grandmother to our 5 grand kids.

Be honest and keep telling him it's not what you want and it's not going to be anything that you want. He can try insisting all he wants but it's a choice you're free to make. If it's a deal breaker for him then unfortunately the marriage isn't likely to work out. Sorry you're going through this.

If he is "insisting" you have a child against your wishes, then there isn't much i can say except maybe you have to get away from him. If it's a question of not wanting to give birth on your part, perhaps adoption is the answer? We adopted.

Was it something you both discussed before marriage? This is clearly a serious matter, one that requires far more conversation than either of you might want to have. You both need to sit down together and have some hard, honest discussions about your options and your future together. This isn’t an “I’m not obliged” kind of situation, and it’s definitely not a one-way commitment. It’s going to require both of you to be adults about it which includes being considerate of each other's desires and needs

Did he know from the begining of the relationship? And all along?

You two are partners, if has changed his mind, and now wants, this is a big deal in a way as it alters the whole dynamics of the relationship. What is the middle ground?

And if you can reverse this scenario and imagine you wanted one and he didnt, how would you go about it? If he told you no, and you really did want to be mother, of your own flesh n blood, what route will you take?

i hear you but what if you have a kid you don't want and he ends up passing suddenly, or not being a helpful parent, and leaves the burden on you. imo children isn't really something that can be compromised on

I think it’s time to move on because he wants kids and you do not and he will hold this against you he may say he will not but he will. It was good while it lasted but now you both need to be free part on good terms not on bad in the courts . Yes it will hurt but slowing it will get better.

Tbh, we discussed it before marriage and I was ok abt it. I was even excited. But now I cant. I AM the deal breaker...Everytime I think abt a baby, the responsibility, the way it changes my life , and with the doomed society I live in, I really dont want to bring another soul to this life. I have suffered enough, I dont want to ruin it now that I am finally breathing...

The question is how badly does he want kids? I am surprised you two didn't talk about kids before and if
you never wanted any I would have made that clear to him years ago. Either way though you don't have to
do anything that you don't want to do.

Let him know where you stand and let him go if that’s his wish. He might end up resenting you.

He might feel that way I have a brother in his forties and him and his wife never had kids.

If this is an insurmountable barrier in your relationship, then it may very well be irreconcilable differences. Let him go to find someone with whom he can have a child, and let yourself go free to find someone for whom you are enough on your own.

sit down and have a serious conversation. Don't let it just flow around, that is a subject to clarify... Be open to listen to him and expect the same.

My husband didn't want kids either . He agreed to let me have kids with other men .

I think you'll find it is the greatest adventure you've ever had...

That's something you should have discussed at the beginning of your relationship. Now it'll probably end up in divorce.

This is something you should have talked about before marriage

I guess everyone already said that.. i didn't read the comments first 😬😳

The whole idea of marriage is progeny. Unfortunately abused by monogamy for interhuman possessiveness and sexual exclusivity. You have to either become a mother OR give him a divorce, so he can pursue other options. In fact he has the right to divorce you for depriving his progeny or even have another wife for progeny, which you cannot object.

You might regret your decision later in life. He wants his child from the love of his life. When you will hold your baby in your arms, all your complaints will vanish eventually.

You have my support in this

Sounds like a conversation u two should have had before marriage

Well have you guys never talked about kids before you got married? If not something went wrong because that is a very important thing because it a subject that decides whether people should get married or not.

Move on. If it's that important, he needs to find a willing participant. If you don't want kids, you won't suddenly enjoy them when they arrive

Tell him there are billions of ladies of child bearing age in the world. I am sure he will find a willing partner elsewhere. There is the door, have a nice life!

This is the number 1 most important thing to agree on before getting married

A conversation that should have happened 6 years ago!

Tell him no and if it is a deal breaker then maybe you need to split

There is no meeting halfway

If this impasse cannot be resolved, it’s quite possible your marriage has run its course.

babies are love. if I ever get married I want at least 1

That’s a rough spot to be in

Time for divorce it sounds

It is your duty to keep him happy and provide his needs.

Suggest adoption

Make him understand that it good for your and his married life not to have baby

Why are you afraid of being a mother?

Just curious

What is wrong with you?

Surrogate? Or with other options?

divorce him

set him free

Put this song on repeat for 23 hours a day 7 days a week for him and see if he still wants one.

[media=https://youtu.be/R93ce4FZGbc]

It's a collective decision period

Did you have this conversation before?