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Would you be offended if you were invited to a restaurant

For a celebration dinner but had to pay for your own meal?


UPDATE! WE DECIDED TO PAY FOR EVERYONES MEALS. Case closed馃憤
Elfstress36-40, F Best Comment
haha nah unless they said, were paying, them I'm going all out and ordering the full menu

I normally just assume I gotta pay for myself then get pleasantly surprised if that's not the case lol
SomeMichGuyM
[@906966,DarkSideoftheMoon] lol Well, tyvm! 馃槉

I hope these last weeks before your special day go well, and that the UK can keep improving, pandemic-wise, all during this time. Take care and laugh a bit, etc., to release the tension which you naturally get around such a big event.
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@733785,SomeMichGuy] thanks. I love England
SomeMichGuyM
[@906966,DarkSideoftheMoon] And many of us here in the US actually do, as you well know! 馃槉馃槉馃槉馃嚞馃嚙

The land of Arthur, the Bede, Chaucer, Caxton, Shakespeare, Bacon, Lovelace, Byron, Tennyson, Keats, Shaw, James, Tolkien...

Of Newton, Halley, Rayleigh, Cavendish, Herschel, Rutherford, Hawking...

Of Hobbes, Locke, Mill...

Of Wm. the Conqueror, Henry VIII, ERI, Wm & Mary, James I & VI, Victoria, ERII...

Of Nelson, Churchill, the Iron Lady...

Of Handel, Clementi, Purcell, Elgar, Broadwood...

Of Wren...

and SOOO many others...Wow!

Someone invited me somewhere.. ?

Happy days 馃暫
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@327405,TheOneyouwerewarnedabout] What if u brought a gift
FurryFace61-69, M
[@906966,DarkSideoftheMoon] good idea helps recognize the comer
[@906966,DarkSideoftheMoon]
We live in times where everyone鈥檚 scraping thru with dollars.
I just assume I鈥檓 paying for my food n drinks no matter where I go.
FaeLuna26-30, F
I assume I have to pay my own way unless explicitly told otherwise.
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@748264,FaeLuna] thanks. I just dont want to be offensive
ozgirl51226-30, F
[@906966,DarkSideoftheMoon] there's a difference between being offensive and to disclosure lol
FaeLuna26-30, F
[@906966,DarkSideoftheMoon] As long as people know up front what the situation is, they can choose to go or not, knowing full well that they'll pay their own way.
HoraceGreenley56-60, M
The rule is that the person that makes the invitation pays
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@6578,HoraceGreenley] [@536386,Gaiia] yeah agreed but the situation is they want to be included in the occasion and we werent going to do anything with family until later on. They keep asking and throwing ideas out so my fiance came up with this idea. I was going to just wait but for rn it's either this or nothing. I suppose I'd just rather do nothing than offend people but if I do nothing they could be offended by that also. It's very tricky
GaiiaF
[@906966,DarkSideoftheMoon] in that case if they were asking they should pay
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@536386,Gaiia] we are hosting it but it's for them really so they feel included but I do feel like a prick
SW User
Not offended, but I'd probably expect it to be paid, or worry about not being sure.
SW User
[@906966,DarkSideoftheMoon] I don't think anyone would mind paying if they know in advance.
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@1190214,TUFKAL] thanks that makes me feel better. They keep asking if were gonna do something so it's more for them than for us really. When I said no were not doing anything they kept insisting so idk
SW User
[@906966,DarkSideoftheMoon] I hope it goes well anyway. I quite fancy a curry now lol
Keepitsimple51-55, F
If I鈥檓 throwing the party then I would expect to pay for everybody. It鈥檚 tacky to invite people to something and tell them to pay their way.
JustHere4Fun251-55, M
That happened to me once. I was invited to dinner with my cousin and her family. I haven鈥檛 seen them for a while. The server came she said to the server 鈥渃an you make two checks鈥 I didn鈥檛 say anything. I was little broke at the time. So I ordered a salad and glass of Tea My cousin said 鈥渢hat鈥檚 all your eating鈥 I said 鈥淚鈥檓 not that hungry鈥 she said 鈥済et something else I鈥檒l pay鈥 I said 鈥渋t鈥檚 ok I鈥檓 not hungry鈥 she wasn鈥檛 happy rest of the night.
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@865932,Jeffrey51] wow yeah that's awkward. I was going to tell everyone in the invite kindly it was dutch. So that wouldnt happen
keeper41-45, M
I think if were a catered event or renting a banquet room and I received an invite, I would make the assumption that it was being paid for.

But if it were just people getting together at a restaurant to celebrate an event for someone, then I would plan on paying for my own meal.

I guess I view it as "formal events" versus just trying to get people together. Not sure how much sense that makes, but it does to me 馃ぃ
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@773924,keeper] spot on. It's not a venue, it's a table at a restaurant
QueenandCrown41-45, F
Even though that's the thing to do now I don't like it. In fact I think it's tacky. If I am inviting a friend for a meal, or guest to celebrate I'm taking care of the food. Even if I am low on funds, I take them where I know owners and can keep a tab.
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@484541,QueenandCrown] that makes me feel a bit better. It hurts me that we probably have to have people pay their own way but on the other hand, if we didnt do anything with the family they'd be hurt they werent part of the occasion and with covid, we cant have so many people in a home for a bbq or something. It's so tricky but I figured if they know before hand then they dont have to go if they dont want to. It's not a pricey place either. Just a curry house. 拢8 a plate
QueenandCrown41-45, F
[@906966,DarkSideoftheMoon] Trust me. In today's time I think many people expect to pay for their food.
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@484541,QueenandCrown] ok thank you. See that we both have similar customs I appreciate your feedback
DeWayfarer61-69, M
Nope! Just tell me before hand it's Dutch, so I can make certain I can go! 馃し鈥嶁檪锔
quitwhendoneM
Is your family going to be able to make it?
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@955094,quitwhendone] no because covid. Our wedding had to be moved so many times and now all we were able to book was town hall with 2 witnesses and my mom cant come because she would have to quarantine for 10 days and he job wont give her that much time off so were going to do something back home with her as soon as we can
This message was deleted by the author of the main post.
wildbill8336-40, M
depends, do they have a wet bar? 馃
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@597698,wildbill83] its byob or you can order from the bar. Closed bar
Zeusdelight61-69, M
Not if I was prewarned. Very generous of you to pay for everyone - but why did you do it?
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@1387,Zeusdelight] no his family is very laid back and friendly. Mine is unfortunately in a different country and because of covid they cant attend but were planning something their when we can
Zeusdelight61-69, M
[@906966,DarkSideoftheMoon] Lovely. I saw your photos and he is lucky to have such a thoughtful and beautiful Lady:)
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@1387,Zeusdelight] thank you
GaiiaF
Doesn't sound like an invitation...
If they said let's go to a restaurant like a plan that would be different and I'd pay for my meal ofc .. but if they wanted to invite me it's cause they want to pay.
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@536386,Gaiia] what if its stated in the invite that's its dutch?
GaiiaF
[@906966,DarkSideoftheMoon] I mean if the person wants to invite them that isn't important... The place or anything but it always depends on the context... Specially if the others are asking it
Wolf9036-40, M
Not if it was made clear in the invite or at least fairly early on. No problem. I would if there was no mention and then they just asked for cash out of the blue at the end of the event
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@806190,Wolf90] yeah I'd never do that to them. I'd tell them in advance
Wolf9036-40, M
[@906966,DarkSideoftheMoon] That's the right way to do it definitely :)
SW User
Usually that's the way it goes in my family etc, usually everyone would club together and pay for the b'day person if it was that kind of occasion.

I don't think people think that a dinner invite means a free dinner
AnthroKenji31-35, M
No, I think I would have been when I was younger. But things like that don't bother me I can afford to take care of myself. If I was explicitly told its on them and then told to pay then yes.
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@1132763,AnthroKenji] agreed
JimboSaturn51-55, M
I think if it was offered by a friend of the person celebrating and said "let's all go out for dinner for him/her" I think they should buy the person celebratings meal.
Pretzel61-69, M
Not really - as long as it was clearly understood at the outset.

perhaps many people have been invited and they are not able to afford the cost - but they want to share the joy.
Allelse31-35, M
I'd be annoyed I was invited, ugh, I don't want to go to some damn restaurant where all the food will have onions in it.
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@415694,Allelse] my brother is the same way. He just hates events so he hates being invited to them
Allelse31-35, M
[@906966,DarkSideoftheMoon] Yep that's me, events, ugh, give me a 5 hour lone hike.
Yes I'll be like wtf through this would be free...
And what if the food was crap?

So I assuming this has happened to u?
GuyWithOpinions26-30, M
No? Id expect to pay for my meal anywhere i go. Im the one eating it. If someone offers to pay for me id take it as a gift and be thankful.
when we go out with friends usually we take turns picking up the check. it all works out in the end
TexChikF
If that was made clear at the time of the invitation , no.
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@113373,TexChik] yeah I'm thinking of making an invitation with the website of the restaurant and stating please check for menu and pricing. I just dont want to be rude
ozgirl51226-30, F
Not really... Times are tough for many...
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@516864,ozgirl512] honestly we werent going to do anything until covid was more under control but people kept asking and insisting so the outcome was a dinner but pay your way but its tricky when it can be seen as offensive but then if u dont do something that includes the family, that's offensive too 馃し
ozgirl51226-30, F
[@906966,DarkSideoftheMoon] I'm in Australia and we have different social customs maybe... But rest person paying their own way is at a restaurant is the norm... Unless the invite is from bill Gates lol
People still want to miss and celebrate 馃
SignalsM
Nah.. going Dutch feels less awkward for me
JimboSaturn51-55, M
It's tacky but I wouldn't be offended.
FurryFace61-69, M
what? i thought the Lobster and shrimps were free
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@1199225,Puppyprivilege] even if you brought a gift?
[@906966,DarkSideoftheMoon] yes, even if I brought a gift.
basilfawlty8931-35, M
Nah, that's usually what we do here.
Unless it鈥檚 a party for me, no
DarkSideoftheMoon31-35, F
[@1178785,Eclipsed] you'd pay more for the lawyer fees than the 拢8 curry
Dolimyte36-40, M
Only for my birthday.
I3ozzie36-40
No, I just wouldn't go.

 
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