Should I tolerate someone just because they are "real" ?

You mentioned you've "always wanted real friends." That sounds like you're looking for authentic connection, not just someone to fill a space. Real friendship feels mutual. If you feel more "guilty" or "obligated" than joyful, that’s a signal.

The line "you should allow me in your space because I’ll be there when you need someone" is manipulative, even if it's well-intentioned. Friendship isn’t a transaction. No one is entitled to your personal space just because they offer loyalty.

I used too, but not anymore. If I'm not true to myself I am certainly not being truthful with the other person. I've done a major rehaul on my life and slowly distanced myself from people that I didn't feel a connection with or that I outgrew. Things started feeling stagnant so I deleted numbers, my facebook and started focusing on my faith and the things that align with me. I didn't block any of them, but I also didn't feel the need to keep their numbers. Most of them were conditional friendships that only called when they wanted validation, money or rides. So, I slowly faded them out. I have no hard feelings towards them, but I realized in order for me to grow I had to make new connections with people that aligned with my core values. I learned what I don't want in my life. It was hard and lonely but I am starting to feel better. I can't tell you what to do, but hopefully my experience can be of help to you.

No, listen to your gut. If you're just tolerating someone because they're a nice person then you're not being honest with yourself nor true to yourself. That would then fall under the category of being hypocritical. You must be true to yourself. You shouldn't feel forced to like or hang around anyone. You know whether you like someone or not so be true to yourself. Some people get under our skin. You can be nice to this person but that doesn't mean you should be forced to hang around that person if you feel uncomfortable, or especially feel obligated to listen to this person wanting to press themselves into your life. That's just not right.

When it comes to what is or isn't boring, I usually lay the blame at the feet of the person making the accusation. Only boring people get bored.

Not saying that everybody has to like or be interested in something, but in general those with a lack of curiosity or inability to hold a conversation tend to put the onus of entertainment in someone else's hands.

Maybe you could try digging deeper or get them to open up about their interests. Maybe it's just not the type of personality you're into. I don't know the dynamic you two have well enough to help you with that decision.

That said, he does seem to be a little too over eager to be in your life and that's a massive red flag. It's kinda like his way of exerting influence over you, by being that one person you can rely on and therefore pressuring you into letting him cross certain boundaries. Hard to tell without knowing him. Maybe you just give off some damsel vibes and he can't help but feel sympathy

Boring people can often be stable. But the type of people who try to tell you what kind of person they are and what you should do because of that raises red flags for me.

If they were boring but were proving themselves as someone that was there when you needed I might say to give them a chance because the excitement is rarely forever. But someone who insists for themselves that you should allow them seems off. The way that a nice guy is simply kind but a "nice" guy has to tell everyone how nice he is. Actions vs. Words and he has some concerning words.

No. If you have a gut feeling of discomfort when he comes into your personal space, it's always wiser to trust that inner warning.

The second warning is that he's already pushing against your boundaries by trying to "should" you. Someone who doesn't respect the word "no" is one big red flag.

Trust yourself.

As a friend, definitely keep him. As a husband...no.
If you are good friends, you could politely pass a hint of how boring he is and maybe he'll be a little more interesting and more on the level of your intetests

Yeah, that’s not a good basis for even a friendship. And someone who’d try and guilt you into keeping them around, isn’t really a friend. You’re losing nothing.

I don't want guys I don't connect with to be there for me. Even if they're sincere.

Go with your instincts and stay away from him if he doesn't feel right to you.

Prioritize your "Priorities." If this person falls in line with what you seek and need, perhaps this is not the right question, and the real question is "What is wrong with you, that you're not allow yourself to have what you need & want in life?"

Tolerating people gets old. Find people you actually enjoy spending time with.

If he bores you, Don't be rude to him but try to avoid much contact with him, saving bluntness as the last resort.

‘Tolerable’ is not a reason for friendship. It might be a reason to not be friends. Friendship should be a rush, not a burden.

Fuck no, if you don't like them. You don't have like them.

But then again some people grow on you. Like at first you don't like them and later they become your bestie.

I say give them a chance and see if they grow on you

I feel like saying that is a red flag..

well how close are you with him? would it be wasteful to think like that?

If this is his logic... I'm moving further away at a faster pace because it feels narcissistic to me.

I think you should put up with who you choose to put up with; who fills your cup or is at least neutral. The others? Meh.

mmh i would not

Why would you allow anyone up your personal space if you don't want to?

You have no such obligation. Do what feels right to you.

What someone says they can be to you is not necessarily what they will be. But what they will be can be somewhat predicted by how they act now.

Would it hurt you to let him into your life?

How well do you know him?

Look somewhere besides SW is what you should do. Maybe the guy down the street.

In your personal space how?

I mean what does being in your personal space mean?

His name is Death?