When you date someone...

I think that when you have the whole "bringing stuff to the table" mindset right off the bat, it gives you too much cause to rule people out as well as rule yourself out. It's too easy to fall on either side of the spectrum, either thinking, "This person doesn't bring enough to the table," or, "I don't bring enough to the table." In my opinion, that conversation is had much further down the line, after the mutual attraction based on who you both are is already established. When you meet someone who's truly compatible with you personality wise and the attraction is mutual, the whole "bringing things to the table," isn't the forefront but an ongoing discussion and effort to make lives as enjoyable and smooth for each other as possible.
That's my take anyway.

The last date I had I ended up fumbling unfortunately. If I attempt it again I will focus on how we connect on various levels and have a good time. A date is a date and I don't want to approach it with to serious thoughts of future.

First , get out of your own way. If someone has asked you out they obviously are attracted to you enough to want to get to know you. If that works out then you start spending more time together. Ultimately If that continues to go well, intimacy will ensue. Barring any disasters there, the couple fall in love and begin thinking about a more permanent relationship.

You are worrying needlessly about things that no one knows will workout. You may not like the guy after the date, he may not like you...so what? There is no guarantee, its like trying on shoes. Do they fit well, do they feel good, and most importantly do they look good on you? The only way to know is to try on a pair or two and walk around in them. Its the same with dating. If you are attracted to men, then you are fulfilling that need by going on a date. Have fun, laugh, smile and be fun. He is feeling exactly like you are and is just as nervous and unsure. I mean you have boobs! 🤭. And they did ask you out which was a huge risk for a shy person to take, so relax and have fun with a new friend. If it becomes more then it does, if it doesn't then there is the next guy. That's how its supposed to work. Ever searching but having fun while doing so.

I have never dated anyone, so I cannot relate.

But I have had feelings for single women, and with some I thought there was a chance she would feel the same way. Then I would get really nervous. Not so much meeting her, since usually I already had, or at least had chatted online for a while. No, my anxiety is that my quirks would push her away. I am risk-averse, lazy (other than on the job), do not like to do chores often, and in some things, I am very set in my ways. And simple administrative tasks in life give me anxiety. Like making phone calls to handle personal business, etc.

But if we already knew all that about each other, it would be easier. Like a friendship that morphed into something more.

I am not sure I could just ask out a stranger. I would need to know her first.

Another source of anxiety is intimacy. I have never made love to a woman. I do not think I am attractive. Also, not all my parts work like they used to. I may need drugs. Sigh.

As for dating a woman with anxiety: as long as we could go out to eat, and go to malls and museums, that would be fine. But no concerts, unless we sit far away, due to my tinnitus.

Also, I am an introvert with no social life, other than chatting on here. So she would be my primary social life! Of course that may be too much of a burden for her!

(Bring to the table) Lady you overtthink too too much . Before leaving your apartment and meeting your acquaintance for the first time ,practise your laughing .Sit in front of your bedroom mirror and laugh quiety then laugh a bit louder, breathe deeply for a few minutes then let it all out laughing like a madman in an asylum for 5 to 10 minutes getting louder and really LOUDER all the the time watching yourself in the mirror .This will relieve any tensions you have. When on the date if you feel nervous , look the guy straight in the eyes and repeat the laughing you rehearsed in your bedroom really giving it out loud , if he leaves it means he wasnt meant or good enough for you.Good luck

If you get nervous on your date i hope you remember this advice

I did my best in my past relationships, despite being damaged from those same relationships. Yet, we all go through it due to no fault of our own. It does build character and we quickly recover. It just makes us stronger for the next one. Being single and ready to mingle is not so bad :)

If you think it is bad worrying about not bringing enough to the table imagine what it is like knowing that most of what you bring to the table is simply crazy.
That's what happened to my last three relationships.
Too much crazy.

No i don't. I just try to make sure shes having fun.I think youd bring lots to the table for any man. Ive always thought that about you.

I just simply wanna go and have fun. Dating is best when you feel like you can be yourself

Don’t think that way just believe you’re special and you’ll have more confidence.

I haven't dated in a long while but when I did, I went in thinking of having fun and let it go at that. Having expectations other than that is setting oneself up for disappointment.

Nope. I don’t care I’m me.

Don't over think it, and just try to relax and have fun. Sometmes, one or two of these will help with the nerves.

I just go in blind and hope for the best. If you overthink things then you miss out on the what ifs !!

I've offered free lessons, and yes, I do think about that table!

Did we make that table?🤔

Just have fun
Let the fortune cookies fall where they may

I'm too tired to date anymore.

I just hope for a click. I never consider what I bring to the table, because I'm aware of it 24/7. That's just confidence. I know I'm not for everyone, and I'm aware I have faults.

I'm going to teach you to say "What's in it for ME?". That's neither selfish nor an unreasonable request. And, remember that anxiety disorders are plentiful; I have one myself. Having an anxiety disorder doesn't eliminate you as a suitable partner. Someone who won't or can't understand anxiety eliminates THEM as a suitable candidate for YOU.

Definitely work this out with a therapist. I know you'll make a great companion/friend/lover, just something I pick up from you. You bring plenty to the table. Now, we need you to believe that.

It's honestly one of the things that has held me back from trying to take advantage of my poly status and asking someone else out. I do not feel that at this time in my life I have enough to offer to be appealing. That being said, if you are actually going on dates you get further along than I do. So go ahead and enjoy the date and be yourself and let the other person decide what they think. It sucks to be shut down by people who think you deserve better than them. If that's the case and they are happy with you, why is that so wrong?