My mother thinks it's good idea to paint her nails whilst driving her new Mercedes 🙄Mind you, she had been driving an unregistered car for a year. The only way she found this out was when she went to a showroom to buy a new car. 🤣
At the end of a bad day all I want is a wine and a smoke. On a good day all I want is a wine and smoke and a bottle of vodka.
Over Easter lunch this year, my dad wore a pair of my mom's underwear on his head as a Joke because he thought it would be funny 🥱 (1)
Having a funny dadMy parents got together having a conversation with a cigarette. My dad told my mom he knew how to light his farts like nobody's business while lighting her smoke.
I let my cat eat the scabs off my scalp from bleaching. And they get totally infected with puss because cats' mouths are full of bacteria. 🙀
My mother gave me baby dolls to play with when I was about 3 and I used to beat the crap out of them. Do you think that says something?I don't want kids and I've never liked babies.
A lot of people are complaining about 'the cost of living crisis.' Well I'm not, I'm doing ok as a high income earner.And now I laugh about those girls I went to school with who bullied me becuase they now have shithead husbands and are struggling with kids. They look like trash honestly- can't get their nails done and have their greys covered. 🤣
Is there such a thing as an 'evacuation disorder' instead of an eating disorder. I keep thin from using laxatives and cigarettes to shit it all out.
Have you watched the video clip for 'C'est la vie' by B'witched? The lead singer looks about 34 and she's going for a 15year old boy? 🤢 (2)
My dad once flatulated loudly when he was at Lincraft with my mother and Nan. They were both so embarrassed they almost died 🦘💨I almost died with laughter hearing that story! 🤣 (1)
I've baked a cake to take to my mom for Easter and forgot to put the eggs and sugar in the mixture 🫣 (1)
I went with my family to a Chinese restaurant for my birthday recently and my mother got so drunk we were almost kicked out 🤣
My dad and his friend went to a bar to meet girls in the 80s. The place was packed full of men and they thought 'Where are all the ladies?' 🤣
I wand 'Back in Black' by ACDC and 'I have Nothing' by Whitney Houston played at my funeral. My mom and sister think this is hilarious 😕
To reduce the harm of alcohol, adults should drink no more than 4 standard drinks in one session. And to avoid binge drinking no more than 10 per weekBut I'm Australian???!! 🤷🏼
