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Jayciedubb

56-60, M

It's Complicated

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Joke about politicians

A politician was campaigning out in the periphery of his jurisdiction. At a town hall meeting, the politician asks the crowd what are the main issues keeping their town from thriving. The town's leader spoke up to say that there are only two problems...

What's your favorite Mitch Hedberg line?

For me, it changes from time to time. Today I think it's: ... "my belt is holding up my pants and my belt loops are holding up my belt. ..so what's really going on down there? Who's the real hero?" 😆😁😄 RIP Mitch Hedberg 😇

Better late than never

Little Johnny goes out as a pirate on his first Halloween. His parents stay at the sidewalk and direct Johnny to go to the front porch and do his own bidding. He knocks on the door and out comes an enthusiastic old lady, pretending to be all...

A bunch of dad jokes for you to enjoy or not.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." .Two peanuts walk into a bar,...

Too short for a title

Cop- got any ID? Hillbilly- 'bout what?

Keep hope alive. It may reciprocate

This is old news but worth a reread every now and then, regardless of its grim exposition. Hope is an incredibly powerful and often overlooked psychological force. During the 1950s, Curt Richter, a Denver native, Harvard Graduate and scientist...

I learned something somewhst interesting over the span of these past two weeks

..became aware is a better way to put it.. Anyway, I watched two seemingly unrelated documentaries recently. One was about actor/director/producer, Albert Brooks. It turns out that Albert really is his first name, but his last name isn't Brooks....

Joke - accentuate the positive

A humble man walks up to three very large women in a bar because he thinks he can recognize their very thick accents. He asks, "excuse me, are you ladies from Scotland? I just got back from vacation, and ...." before he could continue, he's cut off...

Pet peeve, but title too short. How about, a Trip Down Memory Lane. Inspired by a pet peeve...

...when the word 'either' is used instead of 'both.' The word 'either' implies that there's a choice, as in, pick either one. When i was an apprentice plumber, my journeyman was teaching me how to set a wall hung urinal. He was one of those old...

I've been having an anxiety attack for the past four + days.

My wife and I met in 1990. We started dating in '94. We've been living together since '95. We've been married since '00. We had our twins in '01, one of whom was born with some birth defects which have rendered him helplessly disabled. Up til now,...

Remembering Lenny

I've had many Doberman Pinschers over the past 25 years this one in particular was very special as he was the pack leader of the nine that were born in my spare bathroom. He was a sweetheart for sure and everybody's best friend. I remember giving...

A little help, please?

What color is the background of my new profile pic? It's supposed to be a black background with white characters and one yellow. The first one I loaded was all white background with black characters and one yellow but I noticed it wasn't easily seen...

One of my bird feeders

Designed under that copper post cap i bought. The rest is made of scrap redwood fence boards.

Just showing off one of my bird houses

Its a hunk of a blue spruce tree that i felled out of my back yard. It was topped in the 60's and left to grow into a 40 foot tall bush, blocking too much sunlight and dropping those needles all year long. Since removing it, my neighbor's lemon tree...

Advanced technology

An American, a German and a Japanese man are golfing one day and, at the 3rd hole, they hear a phone ring. The American excuses himself, puts his left thumb to his ear, his left pinky finger to his mouth and proceeds to have a telephone...

Need a pick-me-up? Watch this

When daring collides with patience

From one of my replies-

An English Professor is teaching a class in Oxford. He's telling the students that double negatives are positive but at no time is there ever a double positive that's negative. From the back row he heard one of his students say, yeah right. 😉🤭 It mu...

Did you know...

.. that French is indeed a romance language. There are five Romance languages. You might be able to guess what a few of the other ones are , definitely not German LOL, but you probably wouldn't be surprised to know that italian, Spanish and...

You know what I always wonder..?

I wonder about the people who use the term, 'I'm thinking to myself.' .. do they have some some form of ESP or something? When you say you're thinking to yourself, you imply that you have other options of people you could be thinking to but at that...

You'll never guess what happened to me yesterday. I just finished cooking breakfast for me and my son and the doorbell rings .. I go to answer it, and it's a panda bear. As soon as I open the door he barged in and ran straight to the kitchen and ate...

Why sharks Circle their prey

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship. "Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people. "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing."...

Say "Knock-knock!"

A: who's there?😬🙄😏 ...its more of a knock-knock prank than a joke😉😇🤭

Great old school east coast hiphop mix generator on youtube music

Its solo MCA featuring Isley bros' Who's that Lady. Its from Beastie Boys Pauls Boutique in the middle of that big lumpy mix at the end. Im more into hardcore and thrash metal, r&r so i would never get any exposure to the music that will follow...

What if Pinocchio said his nose was going to grow?

Would it? I was asked to answer this question a couple years ago and thought it was a stupid question until I tried to answer it..

help me clean my wounds" He said he cannot heal that kind. Bleeding soul becomes a bitter mind. He said it happens every time (Knock it down) And that's how the story goes (Knock it down) In the land of a thousand no's (Knock it down) We are bleeding...

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