Continue once a week?

Thats extremely hard to hear about your abuse from your mother. My mum was abusive to me but not my father he was loving and kind and never seen the abuse. As he was out mostly working so I can relate.
In the nursing home my main concern is the bed sores that shouldnt happen. They can treat them and sit him in a chair for a while if hes able. Have you a say over his care? Id tell the nursing staff you want him transfered to hospital till the sores are treated they must be agony. No wonder hes declining treatment.
As for how often should you go thats really how you feel. I personally couldnt sleep at night if I knew my Mum or Dad were in pain that could be treated. Take photos of his sores and show them to his Gp thats bad practice on behalf of the home. I home you come to a decision that suits you & the management of your Dads pain. 🙏

Do not feel guilty if you do not visit your father at all

I use to visit my dad every Friday with my youngest son, plus one of my dogs - he loved the dogs and so did the other residents

It hurts when he forgets everything and virtually a one way conversation

I'm so sorry to hear of the abuse you had to endure, Coral. Growing up as kids we too dealt with physical abuse from our dad. He had made a board and wrote my brothers name on it (to use on him) then according to mom he put a nail in it, and was going to use it, she saw it and freaked out on him and he got rid of it altogether. My brother took $80 from my dads wallet and he got punched square in the mouth and split his lip. Other stuff I dealt with I don't talk about. Oh and he's hit my mom more than once. (no alcohol involved) OHHHH and don't let me forget to mention all the times he offered to take me out for fast food, just to sit there and tell me how bad the finances were. AS A KID! Like, dude, what?? It was like psychological fuck with my oldest kid time or something. Then it was, are ya done yet?? So this, oh wow, turns into, ughhh this world fucking sucks and I wish I had a better person as a dad and not this guy :/ (sorry for the language but I dealt with a lot as a kid that NO KID should EVER have to deal with)

My mom took us to a psychiatrist that my dad was seeing I think, and he asked me how things were at home. I just said, they're fine, because I knew if I said, oh yeah I get abused, or this happened or that happened, at the end of the day we all would have gone back home and I would have gotten it for sure. On the other side, if the guy heard enough abuse stories, well us kids would have all been separated from each other and put into homes elsewhere. So I just said, oh everything is fine. I moved out for 4 years and then due to medical reasons decided to move back home and there's most days I don't talk to the man. My brother says, "oh I've gotten over it" okay well good for you. I'm trying, but it's very hard for me to just drop it all.

There are a couple of issues here. The personal relationship one with elderly relatives having a difficult history is one side. My only advice there is take enough of the moral high ground so that you never reproach yourself for not having done enough to say goodbye with no regrets.. You will need to decide what level that is. But if you harbor regret it will haunt you. So go the extra yard..
The other issue is that with proper care bed sores shouldnt happen. It may be a symptom of a poor standard of overall care..😷

I am so sorry to read of your abuse...my heart goes out to you. Mine was done by my alcoholic father...and we live with it our whole lives...yet...forgiveness is a sort of solace...

I don't think anyone can give you an easy answer for this. Listen to your heart and how it makes you feel seeing him. But it's not worth it if it makes you suffer. You don't owe him anything. You need to do what is best for you and what gives you peace and comfort

You might be surprised hearing this from me, but.....

There are things in life that some do (in my opinion) that for all intents and purposes, shreds their "right to life" card.

Abusing a child is very high on that list.

Allowing, facilitating, or covering up that abuse is equal in its depravity.

If he were my dad, he would not be in my life. But then, you already know I'm not as nice a person as you. 🤷‍♀

I would continue to go. He probably looks forward to your visits. And once he is gone you will wish you had gone.

Do what you can. As far as i know standard procedure is to lift\sit up a patient at least daily. If the nursing home isnt doing that it IS negligence. If your dad is resisting them or telling them not to do idk but its supposed to be happening.

Just keep on doing what you think is right , you couldn't choose your parents but someday you'll look back knowing you were good to them despite one being evil to you .Just be your good self.

I’m not sure I would go to be honest

Have you tried throwing holy water on your mother