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Continue once a week?

My dad has been in a nursing home nearly two years. Laying in a bed, and only doing PT or moving a few times, in two YEARS. He's now beginning to get bed sores that are infected, on his back. He initially went in because he was around the clock care...he had a bulging disc in back that is so excruciating he can't walk.
But now with bed sores, he's doing worse. They really need to help him sit up more, but they say he declines. Even if someone declined, I think it should be a base line of care to offer in a few more days, and keep persistent that he does sit up occasionally. I'll be talking again, to someone there soon.

But my conflicted feelings are, while I feel horrible seeing him in more pain every week, yelling out, uncomfortable etc. ...it makes me sad that he did not care of my horrible pain being abused daily growing up. Then would LiE, and say " She abuses you? She loves you" after watching my mom hit me, grab me, etc and belittle me DAILY. A mom saying " I should kick your throat in", is Love?????? Oh ok.. gotcha😧 it makes me sad and mad he ignored my needs and pain for years. And I'm there for him, because I hate seeing suffering. But I did have to cut down days going this past winter. Sometimes it was mentally too much.
I love my dad, but those years of turning away from me, gaslighting, that HURTS. I would like to continue visiting once a week, but some have said I should go every other week. Would you continue the same?
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sarabee1995 · 26-30, F
You might be surprised hearing this from me, but.....

There are things in life that some do (in my opinion) that for all intents and purposes, shreds their "right to life" card.

Abusing a child is very high on that list.

Allowing, facilitating, or covering up that abuse is equal in its depravity.

If he were my dad, he would not be in my life. But then, you already know I'm not as nice a person as you. 🤷‍♀
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@sarabee1995 I agree, I've given so many excuses why he looked the other way, then lying to my face about horrible abuse.,...but it's just unbelievable to me. To knowingly leave kids day after day, year after year with a psychotic person who literally RAGES at the kid if you put a glass Down the *wrong* way...😧 how can you Do it???? Oh yes, HIS needs meant more, plain and simple. While my very life was being eroded.
Today I went in and his sores were so infected and the doctor had to pack them, he was screaming in pain ..and I held his hand. But it's really time I do think of taking a break occasionally, go maybe every other week. Ty for your view🪻