Continue once a week?
My dad has been in a nursing home nearly two years. Laying in a bed, and only doing PT or moving a few times, in two YEARS. He's now beginning to get bed sores that are infected, on his back. He initially went in because he was around the clock care...he had a bulging disc in back that is so excruciating he can't walk.
But now with bed sores, he's doing worse. They really need to help him sit up more, but they say he declines. Even if someone declined, I think it should be a base line of care to offer in a few more days, and keep persistent that he does sit up occasionally. I'll be talking again, to someone there soon.
But my conflicted feelings are, while I feel horrible seeing him in more pain every week, yelling out, uncomfortable etc. ...it makes me sad that he did not care of my horrible pain being abused daily growing up. Then would LiE, and say " She abuses you? She loves you" after watching my mom hit me, grab me, etc and belittle me DAILY. A mom saying " I should kick your throat in", is Love?????? Oh ok.. gotcha😧 it makes me sad and mad he ignored my needs and pain for years. And I'm there for him, because I hate seeing suffering. But I did have to cut down days going this past winter. Sometimes it was mentally too much.
I love my dad, but those years of turning away from me, gaslighting, that HURTS. I would like to continue visiting once a week, but some have said I should go every other week. Would you continue the same?
But now with bed sores, he's doing worse. They really need to help him sit up more, but they say he declines. Even if someone declined, I think it should be a base line of care to offer in a few more days, and keep persistent that he does sit up occasionally. I'll be talking again, to someone there soon.
But my conflicted feelings are, while I feel horrible seeing him in more pain every week, yelling out, uncomfortable etc. ...it makes me sad that he did not care of my horrible pain being abused daily growing up. Then would LiE, and say " She abuses you? She loves you" after watching my mom hit me, grab me, etc and belittle me DAILY. A mom saying " I should kick your throat in", is Love?????? Oh ok.. gotcha😧 it makes me sad and mad he ignored my needs and pain for years. And I'm there for him, because I hate seeing suffering. But I did have to cut down days going this past winter. Sometimes it was mentally too much.
I love my dad, but those years of turning away from me, gaslighting, that HURTS. I would like to continue visiting once a week, but some have said I should go every other week. Would you continue the same?
