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cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
My father was sadistic. We had a nanny milk goat that was my sister’s pet goat. Came home from school (she was in 4th grade) and the goat was hanging up outside on the door to the cellar and he was butchering her for us to eat. He had money for meat but wanted to drink the money up. He did much worse to us later on. Killed my mother was the worst thing.
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cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@OogieBoogie He got by with so much that he should have been sent to prison for
OogieBoogie · F
@cherokeepatti man that's scary.
It makes you wonder why someone like that even [i]became [/i] a parent in the first place ...like [b]why[/b]?.and then you realize it was just social expectation.
Your experience just shocks me. I can't even imagine the poisonous mind of a person like that ....it's just ....so wrong .
It makes you wonder why someone like that even [i]became [/i] a parent in the first place ...like [b]why[/b]?.and then you realize it was just social expectation.
Your experience just shocks me. I can't even imagine the poisonous mind of a person like that ....it's just ....so wrong .
ninalanyon · 61-69, T
@LoneVoice That's child abuse. Done frequently over that period of time would surely warrant an intervention by the authorities responsible for child welfare.
Luckylu · 61-69, F
My parents signed a paper when I was in 5th grade giving permission for me to be part of a track meet. I was one leg of a relay team. On the day of the meet my parents decided to go somewhere else. They said I couldn’t go until I reminded them of the paper they signed. They dropped me off and took by brothers with them leaving me there alone. I competed and remember looking into the stands as I ran hoping they were there cheering me on. They weren’t.
DreamyCrush · F
Slade · 56-60, M
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DreamyCrush · F
@OldMan70 I don’t think so. By the next morning I must've thought I dreamt it, or I didn't think she would believe me. Later on when I was about 12 or 13, one of her boyfriends was asking me inappropriate questions, like if I'd ever been kissed, had a boyfriend, etc. and when I told my mother about it, she blew it off like he didn't mean anything by it.
Blondily · F
My list is long. Mom was bitter due to circumstances she went thru when she was younger. She would say unkind things to me, comparing me to my older half sister constantly. Found out recently that she had given a baby up for adoption. She would taunt me saying aren't you glad I never gave you up for adoption or aborted you? I didnt realize why she said it at the time. My dad was indifferent, rarely spoke to me.
DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F
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BABALOO64 · 41-45, M
TrashCat · M
M parens hid our Christmas presents all around our house. I wanted a foosball table so bad. I found it in the attic under a blanket. My stupid ass brother told my parents I found it when we were eating dinner. My mom and dad looked at each other and my dad (obviously lying) said, oh we're holding it for a neighbors kid. I was sure I was going to get it and on Christmas day, it wasn't there. I resigned myself to the fact that they were telling the truth. A couple of years later, my mom told me that my dad was super pissed that I snooped so he brought it back to the store to teach me a lesson. I never snooped again and if I did, i never said anything to my brother 😡
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Disgustedman · 61-69, M
calicuz · 51-55, M
@Disgustedman
Some of the "old ways" make me so angry.
I'm very, very sorry you lost your father in that manner. No child deserves to grow up with that pain inside.
Some of the "old ways" make me so angry.
I'm very, very sorry you lost your father in that manner. No child deserves to grow up with that pain inside.
ninalanyon · 61-69, T
[quote] I still dont forgive him for that.[/quote]
As I read somewhere recently forgiveness is for the benefit of the forgiver not the forgiven. It allows you to move on, to stop the repeated thoughts eating away at you and distracting you from [i]your [/i]life.
This isn't what I read before but it expresses the same idea:
[quote]Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you. It also doesn't necessarily mean making up with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that allows you to focus on yourself and helps you go on with life.[/quote]
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692
As I read somewhere recently forgiveness is for the benefit of the forgiver not the forgiven. It allows you to move on, to stop the repeated thoughts eating away at you and distracting you from [i]your [/i]life.
This isn't what I read before but it expresses the same idea:
[quote]Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you. It also doesn't necessarily mean making up with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that allows you to focus on yourself and helps you go on with life.[/quote]
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692
ninalanyon · 61-69, T
@NativePortlander It is not necessary that you tell the offender that you forgive them.
[quote]You don’t have to tell the person you’ve forgiven them
One misconception about forgiveness is that you have to tell the other person that you’ve forgiven them. The fact of the matter is: It’s a personal decision whether you tell them or not, and telling them is not part of the actual forgiveness process.
Some people think that telling the person you forgave them means you’re saying that what they did was okay, but it really just means you’re healing.
Before you make a decision about telling them, think about the potential outcome. The person could be thrilled and change their behavior or they may even admit they didn’t know they offended you.
So, what's the best thing to do? It is not recommended that people go back and say ‘I forgive you,’ unless they feel that’s part of their healing or that they need to say that in order to repair the relationship.[/quote]
https://mygrandstrandhealth.com/blog/entry/how-to-forgive-someone-even-when-it-feels-impossible
[quote]You don’t have to tell the person you’ve forgiven them
One misconception about forgiveness is that you have to tell the other person that you’ve forgiven them. The fact of the matter is: It’s a personal decision whether you tell them or not, and telling them is not part of the actual forgiveness process.
Some people think that telling the person you forgave them means you’re saying that what they did was okay, but it really just means you’re healing.
Before you make a decision about telling them, think about the potential outcome. The person could be thrilled and change their behavior or they may even admit they didn’t know they offended you.
So, what's the best thing to do? It is not recommended that people go back and say ‘I forgive you,’ unless they feel that’s part of their healing or that they need to say that in order to repair the relationship.[/quote]
https://mygrandstrandhealth.com/blog/entry/how-to-forgive-someone-even-when-it-feels-impossible
NativePortlander · 51-55
@ninalanyon Have you ever been betrayed so heinously, specially by blood kin, that it felt like forgiving them would be a betrayal to yourself?
ninalanyon · 61-69, T
@NativePortlander No. But my assertion still stands and is supported by lots of academic, religious, ethical, and medical sources.
exexec · 61-69, C
My parents were never mean. It was a tradition every Christmas for me to get a box of chocolate covered cherries, my favorite candy. One Christmas, I unwrapped the box, and instead of candy, it had a small rock in each of the little cups. My father couldn't resist, so he ate a couple of pieces and decided to play a joke on me. The candy was in a bag that they gave me later.
4meAndyou · F
There was quite a bit. But it does absolutely NO GOOD for me or anyone to dwell on it. It's better by far to let the negativity from the past float away...forgive it, and then forget it. Accept that there are imperfect or sick or cruel parents in the world, and you might have been hurt, but remember that now you are alive, and free.
GlitterEater · 36-40, F
calicuz · 51-55, M
Not so much mean, but more of a lacking. They sent me out into the world with nothing more than religion. I'm sure they thought "God," would take care of me and everything, but that really wasn't enough. They literally taught me nothing except for my manners, which I am grateful for, but everything else I've had to learn on my own.
JaggedLittlePill · 41-45, F
My mother really, for some reason, was convinced I was a terrible kid doing bad things. I think because i never talked to her and spent all of my time with friends. This was because my drunk step dad was an abuser and I was sick of it.
1. She went through my things because she found out I had a Black boyfriend.
2. She read notes from friends and my diary out loud to me so i could explain everything she didn't understand.
3. She threatened to tell my grandfather I was dating outside my race. So he would "disown me" he was important to me and she knew this.
I proceeded to tell my grandfather myself. He didn't give a fuck. She lost. I believe that was when my mother realized she wasn't going to bully me.
My mother did change. We struggle but I was able to get through to her. She no longer holds those terrible beliefs.
1. She went through my things because she found out I had a Black boyfriend.
2. She read notes from friends and my diary out loud to me so i could explain everything she didn't understand.
3. She threatened to tell my grandfather I was dating outside my race. So he would "disown me" he was important to me and she knew this.
I proceeded to tell my grandfather myself. He didn't give a fuck. She lost. I believe that was when my mother realized she wasn't going to bully me.
My mother did change. We struggle but I was able to get through to her. She no longer holds those terrible beliefs.
Jeephikelove · 46-50, F
That’s terrible!!! 😳
So sorry. 😞
So sorry. 😞
MethDozer · M
My parents weren't perfect and when we pushed it could be fury but I wouldn't call either of them mean or cruel. Just if you pushed to far and ignored the warning you were going to get it. I'm fine with it all.
Most if not all of my insecurities as a child came from both having to work and at times feeling abandoned or alone because of it. Especially when it came to my mom.
Most if not all of my insecurities as a child came from both having to work and at times feeling abandoned or alone because of it. Especially when it came to my mom.
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