How do you become less shy?

I have been this way since I was a child. I made a point of joining drama classes and for me, found it helped bring me out of myself in playing a character. But it never made my shyness go away, I just learned to deal with it. People aren't as scary as they seem and they often loved to talk about themselves so if I meet anyone new I ask questions, and answer the same question myself to get a common ground with them. It's surprising how many people are suffering from shyness so you aren't alone.

What problems does it cause you, specifically?

To some extent, if you are introverted like me, you just have to embrace it as part of your character, with positive elements (such as thoughtfulness and empathy) as well as the negative.

My other advice is to have children. Our adopted daughter breaks down social barriers on our behalf. It is literally impossible to remsin shy when she is around 🙂

It takes guts to admit when something’s holding you back, especially something as personal as shyness. The fact that you’re asking for help already shows a spark of courage and self-awareness that’s worth building on.
Let’s break this down into manageable steps. You don’t need to become the life of the party overnight. You just need to start nudging the boundaries of your comfort zone.

🌱 Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming Less Shy
1. Understand Your Shyness
• Is it social anxiety, fear of judgment, or just introversion?
• Journaling can help you pinpoint when and why you feel shy.
• Knowing your triggers gives you power over them.
2. Start Small, Stay Consistent
• Practice speaking up in low-stakes situations: compliment a barista, ask a stranger for the time.
• These micro-interactions build confidence like compound interest.
3. Reframe Your Inner Dialogue
• Shyness often comes with harsh self-talk: “I’ll sound stupid,” “They’ll think I’m weird.”
• Replace those with: “I’m learning,” “It’s okay to be awkward,” “I’m proud I tried.”
4. Use Body Language to Your Advantage
• Eye contact, open posture, and a relaxed smile can make you feel more confident—even if you’re faking it at first.
• Your brain responds to your body’s cues. Stand tall, and it’ll follow.
5. Find Safe Spaces to Practice
• Join a group or class where everyone’s learning something new—improv, language exchange, book club.
• Shared vulnerability makes connection easier.
6. Celebrate Tiny Wins
• Every time you speak up, initiate a conversation, or share an opinion—acknowledge it.
• Confidence grows when you recognize your progress.

🧠 Bonus Mindset Shift
You don’t need to be loud to be heard. Quiet confidence is powerful. Some of the most magnetic people are soft-spoken but intentional. You’re not trying to become someone else—you’re uncovering the version of you that doesn’t let fear do the talking.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

I think if you accept who you are and really like yourself then you have more of a chance to overcome shyness.
We all deserve to be seen and heard without judgement.
You are who you are and people accept that. You just don't know it yet.

You don't ever become less shy... it's a hard-coded part of your personality. You might as well wish you had a genetically different body or special powers of an imagined superhero. The problem is when YOUR shyness holds you back from what you want to achieve. So, the best thing to do is to embrace it rather than putting your energy into trying to convert to being less shy.

The thing is that shy people (like us) can still engage in society with OUR shyness. It just takes practise. And trust me, there will be plenty of steps backward. It's like a game-challenge as you keep vying to get to the next level. You collect capabilities and functionality as you go along, but your feelings get also be crushed along the way. As, in a game though, you will be resurrected although each time, you will have to start all over.

It's a game of resilience.

I can say that it gets easier as you get older, but that's probably not too helpful to you right now. Maybe it would help to try not to see your shyness as a "problem" but just a part of who you are. If you like to read, look up the book "Quiet" by Susan Cain.

Look within, see if you have some specific fear or self-doubt. Then tell yourself that you don't need approval or anything else from others, that you don't have to be appreciated or respected "like others", your own love and respect for yourself is enough.
Then go break the barriers - ask people how they are, just say hello.
Social interaction need not involve talking - listen to others, express sympathy or say a little something to encourage.

I don't know. I've never had that problem. I'll start up a conversation with anybody really. I hope you can overcome your fear. Just tell yourself you can reach out to others.

First of all, it's okay to accept your introverted nature and it doesn't need to be changed. If however, it feels like it's a problem, get out of your comfort zone. Start by saying hi to a number of strangers. Initiate conversations about anything that comes to mind. It's gonna feel shitty but it makes a significant difference in the long run.
Look at it this way, you have two difficult choices, staying shy to the point it serves as a barrier or feeling uncomfortable to help with your confidence. They're both difficult. Choose which difficult you want.

I am not shy on here but face to face i cant think of anything to say and start talking rubbish so i dont interact with people. If you have friends maybe get them to help and go out and meet one person at a time and see how you go

Communication is key. A simple hi or hello. A how's it goin? Even a nod. Or a simple joke can be a good ice breaker.

Shyness is just the manifestation of caring a lot about being seen a specific way and caring about what others think. You need to understand that others do not care nearly as much as you do about what they do, say, and think. Once you realize that you've been acting way too considerate of people and their opinion when they do not show you or others any concern, then the shyness starts melting away.

Teach

When people are welcoming and supportive you will feel less shy .. being shy is a defense against a hostile environment

I have learned to live with it because I cannot change it.

i find that not looking at people until you really need to
makes things smooth as velvet

I blush all the rime

practice, practice. get out of your comfort zone as often as you can.

its to do but then u can become to forward like me

Mass orgies.

Talk with as many people as you can