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MarkPaul
22-25, M
United States
Join Time
1st Week of SW
Days Active
1 Yr Active
Comments
2500 Comments
Stories
20 Stories
I Am So Lost In Thought
It had been a long day. At least it felt that way. The cold air on the brisk walk home to the crummy apartment felt good. My mind wandered to a question that I often asked myself, "What will become of me?" As I walked past the string of dow...
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22-25, M
6 replies
9 views
11 hrs ago
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I Am Fascinated By Human Interaction
On last Friday, after working out at the gym, I was in the locker room preparing my post work-out drink, precisely measuring out the powder and mixing the right amount of water. As I was getting ready to shake the protein-mix, an older guy came up to...
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22-25, M
5 replies
24 views
Nov 13, 2017
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I Need Therapy
Session 21: A positive step in the right direction (possibly)... "So, you mentioned you had a request when you called for this appointment...?" "Yeah... I was kind of wondering... if... you know... maybe it would be a good idea for me...
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22-25, M
1 reply
18 views
Nov 4, 2017
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I Need Therapy
Session 20: Getting to the heart of the matter in a heartbeat "We can't gain much traction when you don't come regularly?" "I know... I guess." "Well, I'm not going to lecture you... what is bothering you?...
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22-25, M
4 replies
15 views
Sep 23, 2017
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I Have Low Self-esteem
At the gym, I was in a conversation with another guy. A girl (woman) came by where we were and the other guy invited her into the conversation. The three of us talked to each other. Midway into the conversation, the girl asked, "So, what'...
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22-25, M
3 replies
56 views
Jul 16, 2017
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I Need Therapy
Session 19 [Abridged]: Mental Monuments and the IDEA of letting go... "Have you ever thought about letting go?" "No... I mean, what do you mean?" "You know, letting go... letting go of the past injustices you feel... of the ...
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22-25, M
0 replies
8 views
Jun 1, 2017
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I Am Coming to Terms With My Childhood
THE 3 X 5 WORLD CREATED AND LOST ONE SUMMER... One lonely summer I remember stumbling on the idea that I could keep myself company by finding something to do on my own. I was a socially awkward kid who was shy and deathly afraid of being "foun...
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22-25, M
4 replies
26 views
Apr 28, 2017
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I Need Therapy
Session 17: A victory emergency... "What happened...?" "I... the thing is... I guess I got invited to a party?" "Oh really...? Wow! I wasn't expecting that. That's good news, right? How come you seem so apprehensiv...
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22-25, M
5 replies
35 views
Mar 25, 2017
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I Often Feel Left Out And Lonely
On Being Unselected... Unselected Never wanted Always left out Feelings of being deficient Not popular drilled into me Behaviorally trained to have low self-esteem Lost and alone; no one wants me One step forward; then, always many steps back Buildi...
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22-25, M
2 replies
27 views
Mar 22, 2017
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I Battle Insecurity
Greetings from the land of insecurity Even when I recognize I am making personal development progress, I allow self-doubt and lingering self-hatred to infiltrate my state of mind. It is easy enough to tell myself, "you are over-reacting,...
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22-25, M
7 replies
41 views
Mar 10, 2017
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I Feel Sad For Complete Strangers
I have noticed him before. He, like me, is often working out alone at the gym. He is neither social nor anti-social. He's an older guy, but not that old. He seems dedicated to his work-outs, but not obsessive or well-built. Tonight, he seemed sa...
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22-25, M
3 replies
28 views
Feb 28, 2017
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I Need Therapy
Session 16: Confronting the memory... "So, the last time, you recalled a memory..." "Yeah, it was more like reliving it." "Well, it's sometimes like that. But, how did it make you feel?" "I guess it made me fe...
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22-25, M
2 replies
13 views
Feb 25, 2017
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I Need Therapy
Session 15: Forcing out a memory... [Later in the session...] "What's the memory? Remember you are safe here." "Me and a friend went skiing for the weekend. He had a contact who got us a resort hotel suite. I drove us up to the ...
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22-25, M
7 replies
30 views
Feb 12, 2017
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I Am So Down And Out
Feeling cast out, like no one likes me, like no one could (ever) like me, like I don't belong, like I repulse people or at the very least bore them, that I haven't been constructed to be with others on any meaningful level, that I am horr...
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22-25, M
23 replies
69 views
Jan 20, 2017
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Is it true... "some things are better left unsaid?"
22-25, M
18 replies
32 views
Jan 7, 2017
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Life
I Need Therapy
Session 14: A sad revelation, a step backwards, and hope... "You know, we would make better progress if you committed to coming to see me on a regular schedule." "I know..." "Well, what have you been up to? Any revelations?...
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22-25, M
6 replies
20 views
Dec 31, 2016
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Is it possible to have a meaningful, purposeful, and fulfilling life without a reciprocal emotional connection with anyone?
WHAT IF... you have zero friends... no one seems to like you... that weighs on your mind (for some reason)... you do function in society and you are not a hermit... but you just can't emotionally connect with anyone. DISCLAIMER: I am not sayin...
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22-25, M
12 replies
33 views
Dec 15, 2016
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Friends & Acquaintances
I Need Therapy
Session 13: I need therapy... "To tell you the truth, I was thinking about you and hoping I would see you before the holidays. I remember this is when you always feel like you need to talk. So, I am glad you are here." "Yeah, I gue...
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22-25, M
2 replies
19 views
Nov 23, 2016
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I Am Feeling Left Out
Constructed to be solitary... I can recognize and acknowledge that I have been making steady progress in my social development journey. Several months ago, I agonized that I interacted with no one on a social level. I described the experience as bei...
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22-25, M
5 replies
59 views
Sep 27, 2016
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I Need Therapy
Session 12: Finding support by feeling unsupported and crying about it... "It's been awhile, a long while..." "Yeah, I guess I know." "So, what's been going on? How are you?" "I think I realized something...
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22-25, M
1 reply
43 views
Aug 22, 2016
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