Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

How do you forgive and forget?

Or forget and forgive? Or forgive? Or forget?

I still dream of stabbing some people right between the eyes and it's been years
Roadsterrider · 56-60, M
I forgive the offending person for me, not for them. If I hold a grudge, I lose sleep over it. The other person obviously doesn't feel badly about what they did, maybe even doesn't think it was a bad thing, they were just looking out for themself. I write a letter explaining just how something hurt me, how it has affected me, and I forgive them in writing. A few days later I read what I wrote and then throw away or destroy the letter. Rereading it is important for me, it lets me "see" the actions in the third person or as an observer. It is easier for me to see if I created the problem in any way reading it. Then it goes in the ash can. Forgiving them doesn't require me to speak to them or let them have any space in my life. It just requires that I let it go.
You don’t have to forget completely. That will serve as a reminder for you not to trust them again.

Forgiving is not about letting them off the hook. It is about releasing the pain and anger to hurt them back. It benefits you more than them.
Ambroseguy80 · 51-55, M
@CookieCrumbs especially the not forgetting part. Some things you just won’t ever forget.
TexChik · F
@CookieCrumbs yep...I just cant go there. 🤷‍♀️
No. (Sigh) You just can’t.
OhIsMe · 36-40, M
Forgive the people who correct what they did.
Forget the people who don't.
deadteddy · 26-30, F
@OhIsMe Like you’re so old and wise. I like your mindset .
OhIsMe · 36-40, M
@SW-User forgetting is hard, but when you're @deadteddy OLD and wise like me you start to build up boundaries and take note of the people who only ever cause you hurt.
deadteddy · 26-30, F
@OhIsMe I’ll get there someday, hopefully.
Do you really want to allow someone to live in your head rent free because you’re angry while they couldn’t care less?

That’s why you forgive. Chances are you won’t ever forget but that’s ok
Pretzel · 61-69, M
it doesn't happen if they apologize

it happens when you decide that the anger you carry isn't worth the energy.

whatever happened happened - you can't undo it

you can't forget it

but hatred and anger - unless you are right there in the room with them beating the over the head - is only experienced by you.

and so if you get to the point where you don't get any value for that anger - you let it go

you accept that it happened and they may or may not be sorry

you aren't being "the bigger person" - you are just using your energy for something that will bring you more joy.

I hope you find it.
Jenny1234 · 51-55, F
I suppose just letting go of what happened or what was said.

You can visualize putting the words or the event in a box and closing the box and throwing it in a fire to burn. That is said to help.

You can also surround yourself with a white protective light and visualize filling your heart with love and projecting that love on the person who hurt you then visualize moving that person to the outer ends of a circle. The circle represents your circle of family and friends. Moving someone to the outer end of the circle moved them out of your inner circle
MrSmooTh · 31-35, M
Wait, can't you just curse them? Then you can just forget and let nature take it's course.
@MrSmooTh you know me too well...🖤
I forgive easily, forgetting is the part I struggle with. Sometimes you just don't forget you just accept
chrisCA · M
I forgive, but I don't forget.
I don't think I do tbh. I get it I'm still angry at stuff that happened in 9th grade middle school. I mean I can forgive but it depends on a lot of factors and I don't forget ever.
Coppercoil · M
You never forget..
Forgiveness seems to bw something that has to keep happening for me.. it never fully goes away.. the anger or hurt .
Rokasu · 36-40, M
Uhhh, I think they key is ultimately not give a crap. Or employ retribution and just stab them in the eyes
It's more of an acceptance than forgiving.

At least for me ...
I don't forget shit accept when I choose to
Ducky · 31-35, F
You don't. It saves you from repeat offenders when you don't give them a chance to get you again.
Forgettiing helps breathing process.

Stabbing sounds fine too but with only [b][c=000000]punches.[/c][/b]
I forgive best I can and sometimes never forget but hopefully move beyond it.
KingofPizza2 · 36-40, M
If you forget hard enough you can skip the forgiveness
summersong · F
I rarely forgive, It just stops bothering me as much.
Ambroseguy80 · 51-55, M
They’re not always a package deal…. And not always guaranteed.
BarbossasHusband · 36-40, M
I can forgive forgive, but not forget.
Let me know when you figure it out.
ExtremeNext · 31-35, F
I don't 😳
@ExtremeNext same...🥲
Wallflow3r · 26-30, F
I feel this.
Allelse · 31-35, M
I don't....
If the fault is big and they don't even say sorry, I just stay away from them don't think about them and simply fill myself with indifference.
If they are sorry I give them opportunities.. 🙁
never and never!

forgiveness is not my department.. thats down the hall.
I would still choke out a couple of people from years ago.
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
I just forget them and move forwards.
RoxClymer · 41-45, M
I'll forgive but I never forget
Leave it to Karma, and chill tf out nobody is worth getting so worked up over 🙏🏼
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
Sometimes, I can do one, but not the other.
"Forgive and forget" is stupid. Forgive the person for what they did, but never forget that they are capable of doing it again.
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
I can forgive but I never forget what’s happened

Post Comment
37,530 people following
Personal Stories, Advice, and Support
New Post
Associated Forums Topic Members