You ever want to genuinely help someone out

This has happened to me SO many times. I had to learn wisdom through hard experience.

There are people out there whom I call "black holes". They expect everyone they know to provide financial support, or a place to live, or food...and then they worm their way IN and can't be extricated.

I am thinking of one woman I used to know, who was part of my singles support group. I met her after my divorce. She told all of us that she was living in her car, and that her own children wouldn't help her. I came VERY close to allowing her to move in to my spare room...but something stopped me. (My guardian angel, probably).

Another woman in the same support group DID allow her to move in, and then they actually had to call the sheriff to get her out when she stopped paying rent.

Yup. It's using manipulation and playing head games. I quit helping a lot of people and started helping myself. I got tired of being everyone's backbone. I will admit however, I never expected anything in return, but for the person to grow and become responsible. Some did, but many stayed stagnant or tried playing the victim card to lure me into their web of narcissistic tendencies. I love saying no the first time they ask to see if they can respect my boundaries. Most people will fall off at the first no. I had one woman ask me for $80. I said, "No. I don't have $80." She got nasty and said, "I thought we were friends." I ended that situationship that day. I don't do manipulation or pity parties. Grow up and learn to respect someone when they tell you no. No is a one word sentence that has become my favorite sentence. Now, if some asks for a drink or food. I'll buy them a drink and meal if I can. Don't cast pearls before swine.

Yes, I helped a friend move out of the flat she shared with her abusive boyfriend. Took me a whole day moving her belongings and cost quite a bit of money too. Within 2 days, she'd given him the address, invited him around, and he was staying there. She rang me a day later crying and asked to come and stay at my place. I told her no and she said I wasn't a very good friend. She then rang another mutual friend saying her and the boyfriend had been evicted, could she go there. The last I heard, is that they were living in his car.

Yes, yes, I have and watching them fall apart as I had to step back and furtherly destroy themselves until they committed suicide was terrible.

When you love and respect them like a family member and then lose them to their own personal inner torment and mental disease is truly heartbreaking. My only respace is that I will see them one day in heaven with a healthy mind and body and I will hug them like we never parted.

I've been on both sides of this.

It's hard for me to accept help. It makes me feel bad that I can't fix things on my own and then I unknowingly push away the people that care.

Mmhmm. Had to cut ties with a friend that persistently put me in that situation. She was exhausting.

probably how God feels about me 😂

Yea.. meanwhile they've done nothing about it themselves. Suddenly their problem has become your responsibility.

It's a classic example of how "no good deed goes unpunished"

When someone offers to do something for you you have to take them up on it when they offer not at one's own convenience.

Yes. Some people love being victims so they don’t want to be helped

They always want to stay in

Don't do me any favors.

emotional vampires. i dont have patience for em.

Professional victim

Yes I ran into that a lot while working retail

It appens