Kind of angry about a messed up thing

I'm sorry that happened to you. We live and we learn. I know that you wanted to help because she was crying and on 1 hand you feel bad because you feel like you are sitting on some money while your friend could be sleeping on the sidewalk. So there's guilt . On the other hand you dont want to lend to friends because of things like this happening. We have to learn to say no. And come to the realization that the person is an adult and that we are not responsible for them. Thats why I'm upfront with people, i have my own bills. i will tell them i dont feel comfortable lending money to you but i am here for moral support i can help you pack or even help you find a place that you can afford so that you don't have to go through this every month.

Any particular input you’re looking for? I mean I just feel bad that happened to you but doesn’t sound like there’s much that can be done unfortunately

On a side note I do think it’s a 100% sign that she’s a bad person. Sometimes you promise to do something or repay something in this case and for whatever reason you can’t. The right thing obviously is to communicate that but for some people it’s hard or they feel ashamed for being dependent on someone else in the first place. So they kind of avoid it until they can pay you back.

In my experience it’s the people who constantly remind you and make promises saying “I’m gonna pay you back this day… this and that…” who are usually full of it.

My practice is I never let people “borrow” or expect favors in return. If I give it, it’s yours, just to avoid those murky waters. If they go out their way to pay me back or return the favor, great. If not oh well.

Maybe shes not comfortable with talking to you until shoe knows she can pay you back. If she was short on rent she’s probably still struggling to catch up.

We live, we learn.

When it comes to money......

My personal belief is that any money I "lend" is not really a loan.

It is a gift.

yes, you did a beautful thing..but there are consequences. When asked for money tell them to ask their family first. If that's not working for them either say NO or give money as a gift. That is, if one has the money and can afford to help a friend

This has become the strategy for many as it's become so easy to live out of others money by small borrowings. It's become so casual among acquaintances. The worst part is that we stop helping the needy and genuine ones , and it's because of people like them, that world has become so nasty.

The worst part is these people go on doing this like borrowing 500 from 100s of people.. rolling $50000


But this practice gave me the idea to start a PTP lending site where we can lend and borrow through an app with automatic deduction.

I didn’t even think when I loaned $400 to a nephew. I knew he was good for it. I didn’t know he was on drugs. Yes he took my money and bought drugs. That’s how it goes I guess.

I’ve lent money before. I just automatically assume it’s not coming back. The great thing about that is they won’t bother me again because they’ll know what they owe me.

been there, you're not freaking out/overexaggerating.

and though i hope she gets back to you, those who ghost me, tend to....(when they reappear) have some horrible story on why they did and don't worry they felt super horrible they whole time.

it's always hard. I'd say you have to decide which is more important your friend or your money with the caveat that both may be gone.

Feel good that you did the right thing for the right reasons. Just for the wrong person. You are still the good person you tried to be..😷

I gave a fella $1500 cause he said he needed it to get out of prison , later i found out he was going abroad . I was lucky to get the money back .
Never mix money a friendships .

Well was anything signed or documented do you use e tranfer if you tell he to e tranfer the money as much or as little she has some monet is better than no money .

Money do ruin friendships. So, I always make a note not to borrow money from friends as much as possible.

When you lend money to a friend, you have to do it knowing that it changes your friendship. You have to be prepared to forget about getting it back. You can send her an email or leave a note in her mailbox or on her door. Do not lend ever again.

We’ve all been there.

Will you take payments?
Maybe if you tell her how much you want a month?
Just an idea.

Is it possible that shes avoiding you because she cant pay it back?

Did you talk about repayment before the loan ? Like 50 a week or 100 a month? Is she sure it was a loan and not a gift ?