I think it can be both? There's a theory I like, called Imago, which states that we tend to be attracted to people who are likely to hurt us in the way we were hurt as children. I might have the theory slightly wrong, but that's what I took from it.

It's mathematical in many ways. When someone we love hurts us, the wound is deeper; but we often chase the qualities we find attractive even though they may lead us down the same loop. Most of finding balance and peace in a relationship is learning to escape that loop--while being aware that our partner might not be ready to escape theirs.

Think of it as you've dodged another bullet! For if you stayed any longer the longer you would have be hurt by the enemy! So you're saved from unnecessary toxicity from that relationship if it were to continue... God is close to the broken hearted!!! Only He can fill that longing void in our hearts, and teach us to love others like we love ourselves..

It’s not always a matter of fault. Sometimes people just aren’t right for each other in that way.
Don’t let disappointment make you jaded.

When my wife was in college and broke up with her fwb's, it was because they were getting too serious. She always helped them find somebody else, so they never had to doubt themselves.

I think most of the time there is shared responsibility for break ups. Perhaps it is as simple as two people finding out they just are not as compatible as they hoped they would be.

As an old friend used to say "If a person gets divorced once it could be the fault of the other person but if you get divorced twice it is you".

The whole paradigm of “I’m too good/not good enough” for the other person is just false. It just didn’t work. Literally 50%+ of current marriages aren’t working and people are just existing.

You are in a better position than that with a lot of hope and opportunity. Be gentle with yourself.

Relationships take a lot of work, both sides need to compromise or things go bad quickly.
If you, or your partner are stubborn, then that might explain it. It will never be just you though.

Just because you break up doesnt mean its anyones fault or loss the 2 of you just didnt connect and move on

Is this a sign of codependency perhaps? Depends on who the person is, as to whether it was a loss.

That's kinda true.....
You're not.....


You're great👍🙂

Where?

It's not you, its me 😉

STOP THAT

Like me, it's always them.

If you do not love yourself then nobody else will. Just love you. Bless you. ☺

No one is as good as they think they are.........but that don't mean it still wasn't their loss. ;-)

That occured to me once, then I realized, nope it was them.

That's funny, I used to think of how they'd just dodged a bullet!

Finally. Someone sees the error of their ways 😂.

dam thats sad