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I think I'm done dating Irish/English girls.

Now when I say Irish English, I am referring to women who are over 33% Irish and/or English. My reasoning here from data from dating complied is:

1. I am of a more "romantic" and "warm" European ancestry. Think French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Greek. Irish/English girls are not "warm and fuzzy", or romantic from my experience. Very stoic, and more standoffish especially when it comes to physical touch. Also the personality is far less flirty than that of the more "romantic" Euro ethnicities. This is a direct conflict with how I approach dating, which is romantic and breaking the touch barrier early. I cannot figure Irish/English women out and how to progress anything with them because it seems the expectations are different. This makes any date with an Irish/English girl feel platonic... and it goes NOWHERE.

2. With Italian/Greek/French/German/Portuguese/Arabic girls, my success rate is 80% for a second date and 70% for a relationship. With a girl who is over 33% English/Irish, my success rate for a second date is 5% and my success rate for a relationship is 1%.

3. They seem to have much more of an "independence" mindset. This goes from being kicked out at 18 and paving their path from there, into not "needing" a romantic partner. This conflicts with many other (including my), Euro ancestry, which typically stay with their parents longer, and are less afraid of being in a committed arrangement with a partner.

I just don't understand what Irish/English girls expect on a first date. Or why my failure rate is so high with them. Sometimes I think they have a stick up their arse. The worst part is, I am most attracted to Irish/English features (light features). But the personalities are just so... cold. Any input greatly appreciated.

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bugeye · 26-30, F Best Comment

girls from the uk tend to like Humour and wit especially in Ireland and Scotland. if you can't keep up with the banter then you're not gonna do well. you can be charming without being too forward, you just need to be able to hold an interesting conversation. trying to be overly romantic and flirty will just make you seem like you're only interested for the physical side of dating and trying to "Break the touch barrier early" only reinforces that opinion.

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ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@bugeye Ok, so what you say makes sense to me. I can see what you mean. See, I've always been "romantic and flirty". And forward. Which works with a good amount of Latin based European ethnicies (the ones I listed), but fails with British women. And your points, I think prove why. Thank you.

bugeye · 26-30, F

@ShadowWolf trust me be more casual, light-hearted and witty, and you might see more success.

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@bugeye I will give that a go. Or at least try to. Thank you!

SW-User

This sounds like it was written in 50s, where are you from?
I am Greek, btw, and your idea of both Irish/English women and us, "romantic" Europeans, is so...old! What kind of "romantic" Europeans have you met? WHERE?!

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@SW-User I'm saying that the personalities are different. Romantic may be a stretch. Italian, French, Greek, Spanish etc are warmer, more welcoming ethnicities. The personalities of English Irish are much more cold. From my experience.

SW-User

@ShadowWolf And I'm just saying that you're wrong, I don't think it's a matter of ethnicity

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@SW-User From my data/experience, it absolutely is. My stats don't lie. again 80% first date success rate (to turn into a second) vs 10%.

SW-User

I think you're overthinking it and that's why you are single. We are incredibly simple creatures, you don't need to do all this thinking.
We want wine. We want charcuterie boards. We want intellectual stimulation. We want men.
simple.

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ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@SW-User I appreciate the advice, but I do know how to "love life" I do have my own life outside of any potential relationship. I think the issue is that Irish/English women just don't appreciate guy who makes an actual effort and also shows any type of feeling, or touch, or anything. Which is how I operate when it comes to dating. My only real failures with dating come from going on dates with people from or with ancestries from the British Isles (damn myself for being most attracted to blonde/red hair and blue/green eyes).
In Italian culture, we are warm, caring, and bold. It seems this is very offputting to British women. Who seem cold, distant, and emotionally unavailable. This even translates to my parental situation. Mom Italian, dad British. Mom pissed at dad for being so uncaring, emotionally unavailable and cold. It's a cultural thing it appears.

helsbels · 26-30, F

@ShadowWolf Maybe you've partly projected your expectations on them right at the start which can't help.

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@helsbels The expectations came from at least 25 failed first dates with specifically British Isles women over time. I guess let me give some more concrete examples to illustrate what I'm trying to say here. For this scenario, I will take a general interaction with an Italian, French, or Portuguese girl, and compare it with that of an English Irish girl. Based on my years of experience.

Scenario 1:

Me: *flirts*
Italian/Port/French girl: *Brats back* *Flirts back* *Shows appreciation*
English/Irish girl: *Ignores it and changes conversation* *"That's nice"* *"Ok"*

Scenario 2:

Arm around them in a bar/pub, or in the car.

Italian/Port/French girl: * Grabs my hand*, *kisses me*, *inches closer and cuddles*
English/Irish girl: *Pulls away*, *Does nothing*, * looks uncomfortable*

Scenario 3:

In a conversation about future topics such as kids marriage, weekend getaways etc

Italian/Port/French girl: *Gets really into the planning despite not being serious yet* *Excited*
English/Irish girl: *Changes conversation*, *very coy*, *"sounds nice"*

Three of many scenarios I've seen. But this has been my experience, which has shaped those expectations.

HeidiA · 41-45, F

Oof. This post has “Im going to die alone” written all over it.

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ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@HeidiA You don't know what I have. You seem to be very insecure, especially because you got triggered by a post about British women. You got your "knickers in a bunch" and started coming at me due to being offended. I have plenty of options. My issue, that I've identified in this post, is that I have a strong attraction to British women, but our personalities are incompatible, as are our dating languages and expectations.
Also, the point was to get some insight on to approach British women on a first date, vs what works with other ethnicities.
This was by no means an anti-British post. Moreso a vent, and asking for advice. Instead, you took offense and started being rude and offensive yourself.

HeidiA · 41-45, F

@ShadowWolf I didn’t say it was anti British and I’m not here to wave a flag. My response to you have been about looking at yourself to find solutions rather than blaming others on a perceived stereotype

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@HeidiA Why not offer something more constructive, advice wise, than something snarky? Look, I'd find it hard to change the way I was raised to accommodate a British girl. A user here actually offered a GREAT explanation:

[b]"girls from the uk tend to like Humour and wit especially in Ireland and Scotland. if you can't keep up with the banter then you're not gonna do well. you can be charming without being too forward, you just need to be able to hold an interesting conversation. trying to be overly romantic and flirty will just make you seem like you're only interested for the physical side of dating and trying to "Break the touch barrier early" only reinforces that opinion."[/b]

My traditional approach to dating, does not work, for the reason this user mentioned. Not with British women. While I could improve on "witty banter", I am more of a flirter. Which works with most women other than British girls.

It was not my intent to go to war with you or raise my own flag. But you didn't exactly take kindly with your first post on my thread.

basilfawlty89 · 31-35, M

Jesus Christ, are you gonna ask someone's Ancestry DNA test before asking them out?
How romantic.

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ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@basilfawlty89 It's a pretty common question when first getting to know someone. I don't need an ancestry test to ask a simple question.

basilfawlty89 · 31-35, M

@ShadowWolf you said 33% man, not me. Most Americans are anyway mixed with a bunch of different European ancestries.

Also, I should headhunt you for saying Irish/English. We're hardly interchangeable and have quite a... divisive history.

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@basilfawlty89 That's easy man. If they have a parent that is 100%, they are at least 50%. If they have a parent that is 75%, they are at least 33%. Easy to deduce without a test by asking simple questions about their family. Yes most Americans are mixed, but you'd be surprised at how many have 50% or more UK ancestry. For obvious reasons.

No need to headhunt me. I know that you arent interchangeable. But from my experience, the personalities are very very close. Irish are just a little more fun.

SheCallsMeCrushDaddy · M

Coppercoil · M

Eastern Europeans for the win.. best of all worlds.

SW-User

@Coppercoil Ha! Then I hope you get to grow old with someone from the Balkans

Coppercoil · M

@SW-User lol

Wallflow3r · 26-30, F

@Coppercoil What about Central Europeans?

sirenofthesea · F

I think your observations are correct, very stoic and cold. I am half English, part scandinavian, part black/Asian etc and surrounded my whole life by Anglo-Saxon people. They don’t read passionate poetry, they want the cold literary intellectual version of poetry always, everything is reason with them, not fond of wild emotion and so on and so on. I have some of this myself, but then my black blood probably gives way to being more instinctual and passionate.

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@sirenofthesea I'm half British as well. My other half is Italian. I was raised predominantly by the Italian side. Italians, like black, hispanic, french, spaniards, and portugeuse, etc, are very passionate. So going on dates with Anglo Saxon, non of the typical dating experience apply. They do not care for passion and are not passionate. Which, is why it's a struggle.

sirenofthesea · F

Best bet is a wild Irish girl, they exist. They have some passion but it tends to be feisty. @ShadowWolf

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@sirenofthesea Yes for sure. That's actually part of the 10% success Irish/English stat! Was a feisty Irish girl. I wish they were more common.

angie8819 · 56-60, F

They can see thru you
I've read your post and you seem full of yourself
Well certainly full of something

Wallflow3r · 26-30, F

Odd, but I kind of get it.

Ontheroad · M

Do you really keep statistics on the dates you've had? I mean we all have a quirks, likes and dislikes, but keeping statistics on women you date sounds sort of... a bit off?

Yeah, just enjoy the date, have some fun and see where it goes. I will say that back in the 80's I met and dated an English woman who was quite warm, loads of fun and the total opposite of what you describe. So much so that we went from "Hi!, nice to meet you" to breakfast in bed in a shamefully short period of time. Ahhhh, the memories - that lady was all hands... and lips and... well, you get the picture 🤪.

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@Ontheroad Yes sir. I do. You may consider it off, but I consider it smart. It allows me to see what works, and what doesn't. Data runs the world.

Yes, "enjoy the date and see where it goes", that's the common tagline. But when you have 25 unique dates with english or irish girls that do not turn into second dates, there is nothing to enjoy. Especially when I'm throwing money at dinners, coffee etc for no results. Meanwhile the success rate is higher with other ethnicities, then the data doesn't lie. At least for me. You might mesh better with them. It is clear based on the data that I do not.

Ontheroad · M

@ShadowWolf That's exactly the outlook (when I'm throwing money at dinners, coffee etc for no results") that sounds so negative, so off putting and I'm guessing these "unique dates" felt that.

Going into a date with the expectation that you will get something (and this is only my opinion based upon many dates), is a sure way to get nothing.

I just don't get it. I go on dates to have fun and with extremely few exceptions, I have fun, I enjoy the evening, the dinner, the show or whatever we may do and expect zero in return. I never felt the need to pressure a woman, pressure myself or grade the date - I just enjoyed myself and when I spent money... it was a big so what. Second dates were frequent, third dates a little less frequent, but some very rewarding long term dating/relationships with amazing benefits were had.

What I'm suggesting is a change in outlook, a lessening of expectations and a focus on relaxing, having fun and letting nature take its course.

WhateverWorks · 36-40

🤔 I dunno.., everyone’s giving you a hard time (I too am skeptical of your inferences made here as to why you haven’t hit it off with English and Irish women), but there might be some validity to the idea of a culture gap.

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@WhateverWorks It's fine if some people chose to give me a hard time. Doesn't hurt me. I promise you based on my data, at least for me, the inferences stand. I do believe the culture gap is very real.

WhateverWorks · 36-40

The culture gap might be legit, but it also might not be the way you’re inferring. The culture gap might just be the way you come off versus what qualities someone who is English or Irish stereo typically is looking for in a life partner is different than the other backgrounds you mentioned. I am from the United States, so I can’t speak for English or Irish women though as to what adjectives they commonly value. @ShadowWolf

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@WhateverWorks I should clarify. English or Irish ancestry as well, who may live in the US. I am also from the US. And my experience has been with girls who are American, but with English Irish ancestry majorly.
The way I come off? How about the way they come off?
I want to give an example that I think is applicable here. One close to home. My dad is British. My mother is Italian. My mother always said my father was cold and unfeeling compared to how she was brought up as an Italian. It causes some issues with them sometimes. (They are still married). His family makes far less of an effort to be warm as well. There is a direct contrast in how my moms Italian side operates, and my dad's British side does. By warm, referring to getting together, hugging/touching/kissing, and overall personality such as just showing affection, being welcoming etc.
Coincidence? I think not. That has been my experience with dating as well. For example, an Italian or Portuguese girl will be more clingy, show more affection, and be a little more emotionally available.

SunshineGirl · 36-40, F

You sound like you've analysed this on an excel spreadsheet 😅 I am Polish-English. This means I have a fierce independent streak, cannot handle alcohol, have a phlegmatic sense of humour, and like girls . . a lot 👭

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@SunshineGirl Honestly? I did. To make sense of it all.

Carazaa · F

People are usually attracted to the opposite, so be your warm self and a "cold" girl will love you for it.

val70 · 51-55

@Carazaa Could you define "cold" for me?

Carazaa · F

@val70 You have to ask the one who made this post what they meant but usually "cold" is reserved, serious, and slow to show emotions.

val70 · 51-55

@Carazaa Well, "warm" from him I got immediately. I was only asking about your "cold"

SW-User

lol this post is hilarious

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SW-User

@BluntSm0ker ikr 😂 what a fockin twat

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Justenjoyit · 56-60, M

Personally looking at what you are looking for in a partner Irish or English woman are no good for you unless you have the same type of humor and they would probably find you a bit boring to say the least

Mooed78 · F

@Justenjoyit

Justenjoyit · 56-60, M

@Mooed78 [image]

SomeMichGuy · M

...I think you make very overly broad generalizations.

Isthisit · F

What is your ethnicity?

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@Isthisit Italian American.

SW-User

Jeepers, have you actually met a real. Irish woman in real life😂😂😂😂😂 it does not sound like you have

I'm Irish btw, 100%

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Mooed78 · F

@SW-User I agree he hasn’t met a proper Irish woman!!😜

Ravens80 · 46-50, F

@Mooed78 what’s not to love about a Irish woman 😍

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@SW-User American Irish yes. 100 %. I've met an Irish Irish woman too, but she was married lol

Justenjoyit · 56-60, M

You just cant handle a British girl because they probably dont take your crap and call you out lol

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ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@Justenjoyit What don't you like about Italians?

Justenjoyit · 56-60, M

@ShadowWolf In Europe they are not to be trusted, and just on the take.

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@Justenjoyit It's funny. My grandmother on my moms side (100% Italian), always said that too about her own people lol. She was a character.

REMsleep · 41-45, F

Loads of people here were responding like they didn't understand what you were saying but I think you made yourself very clear and I totally get it.

The cultures between Britain versus Mediterranean Europe or Latin Europe are completely different and I'm American and I think we take a great deal of the base of our culture from the old UK culture so I do understand what you mean by less touchy feely, more independent, more wary of grand romantic ovetures or languages on first dates.
US is like that as well with a little bit extra Americanisims added in for us.

American women want to be shown a good time. To learn who you are and to be treated the way you would treat a friend (not absent of romance) but not full on Romeo right away. Thats creepy and sleezy!
Nobody wants to be just a number or a conquest!
Im guessing that UK girls would be similar in that way.

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@REMsleep You read what I was trying to get at, spot on! Thanks for understanding the point of the post!

SkeetSkeet · 100+, F

The issue here is you.

Good day, sir.

empanadas · 31-35, M

@SkeetSkeet I think he wrote this book

deadgerbil · 22-25, F

@SkeetSkeet don't be so critical

Let the man speak his mind ,, 🙂

Helloeveryone · 56-60, F

Dont say that every culture has a lemon in it. You may find another Irish girl who is wonderful

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@Helloeveryone Try 25 lemons. Over the course of a few years.

SomeMichGuy · M

It's from eating British cuisine and growing up in the rain.

Or drinking & fighting.

lol

Helloeveryone · 56-60, F

all cultures have a lemon in them dont say that about irish people

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@Helloeveryone I love Irish people. Don't get me wrong. But I'm starting to realize that dating them is not compatible with me.

SevenTierCrazyCake · F

We don't want you!

Sincerely
Ireland 🇮🇪 😂😂😂

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Zonuss · 41-45, M

I have a question to ask you.
I'm an American male.
Are you out of your [b]fuckin[/b] mind! 😂

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Zonuss · 41-45, M

@ShadowWolf You cannot base what happens in your relationships on a person's ethnicity. That's like me saying I can't survive in a European country because I don't like the food. 🙂

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@Zonuss I can base a failure rate of first dates against the success rates of first dates based on ethnicity. For example 90% of Italian women I had a first date with turned into a relationship. 100% of Greek women. 85% of French women. I CANNOT say the same for Irish or English.

Zonuss · 41-45, M

@ShadowWolf Maybe they are not your type.
Could be cultural issues, spiritual issues, or chemistry.
But whatever the case may be, just see what you like best and take it from there.

caccoon · 36-40

LOL

basilfawlty89 · 31-35, M

@caccoon I'm wondering if phrenology comes next.

ImperialAerosolKidFromEP · 46-50, M

Doesn't mean you are going to filch more of our Scottish women, does it? 🧐

ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

@ImperialAerosolKidFromEP Scottish women are included in this. I should have said British women as a whole. Scottish women however are very attractive.

SW-User

Idk what these people are like but actual Irish girls in Ireland are no colder or less passionate than anywhere else.

In fact, Irish women aren't bad at all. We could have it plenty worse 😅

SevenTierCrazyCake · F

@SW-User "aren't bad at all"

Such praise 😂

SW-User

@SevenTierCrazyCake only the highest praise 😘

SevenTierCrazyCake · F

@SW-User 🗡😁

empanadas · 31-35, M

I have more experience with Spanish and Portuguese latinas. However, European women are basically the same.

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