Anxious
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Any tips how to not panic on date?

I have given up several possible good guys or dates due to fear. I feel like an imposter..they may see my outer shell of being light or laid back, but they dont know the extent anxiety has had in my life. I feel I'll be letting them down when they find out. How can I feel good on a date when I am not offering a whole person? Any tips on how not to panic on a date, thinking Im not enough? I fear Ill get so nervous I will have to leave🥺
Muthafukajones · 46-50, M
When you go on a date you have to imagine that you are meeting someone who already likes you… if you do that then even rude or challenging comments won’t make you nervous and you will react more positively and creatively and openly to them.

Then at the end of the date you have only one decision to make… do you like them? They need to meet your approval… not the other way around!
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Muthafukajones Thank you, I appreciate that🌻
TexChik · F
Have a quickie before you actually leave for the date, that way you both can relax? 😂
TexChik · F
@Thinkerbell Just a quick one!
Banksy83 · 41-45, M
@TexChik what time should I Quick I mean pick you up
TexChik · F
@Banksy83 Whenever you are ready to get pummeled by my giant pissed off hubby.
Penny · 46-50, F
no ones perfect. think of all the things you do have to offer. not where you think you are lacking
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Penny Thanks Penny...I just dont know if kindness that I offer is enough. Seems guys want adventure too. 😞
Penny · 46-50, F
@Coralmist youre still thinking negatively lol. be positive. you never know what someone wants until they show you. and besides, you can always develop things in yourself if you want to
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Penny Thats true, I cant future tell...its not rational or good to do. Ty friend 🌺
Fart. Lots and loud. Do it right away when you see them. Then they'll leave you alone. But if they stay, not much else will break their bond to you.
Banksy83 · 41-45, M
@froggtongue thats preposterous
A few deep breaths & remember he has to prove himself worthy of dating you . 😉

Its just a chat really to see how you both get on . Because you suffer from anxiety it doesn't make you an imposter he might have anxiety about the date also.
Take it for what it is live in the moment if its good go with it. If you dont feel good/ comfortable make an excuse and leave early.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Cutiepi23 Ty friend. 🐞
reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M
just let it all out, if you feel anxiety and don't know why just say to your date " I had anxiety all day, i don't know why, I get so nervous before a first date". that's what I do anyway. if I don't hide anything there is no anxiety about what might show or not show, I show it all, they either like it or not. better they get a full picture now than in 6 months so they can decide now if they like what they see. no point in hiding your less shiny side only for them to discover those sides of you and realize they don't like it.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@reflectingmonkey Thats true, just being our REAL selves should be OK for others. But, I fear i will internalize if a guy ditches me because of my anxiety..that Ill say "yep, you arent worth dating or affection. " but, some here at SW, have told me some guys LIKE not going out too much!! And they would be patient. Now how to find is the dilemma lol. Thank you, friend. Saying that being myself is the real test, rang true. 🌿
reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M
@Coralmist other people have insecurities, if you let yourself be the way you are guys that also have insecurities will see you as a good place to open up. you want some to just leave, you have to weed out those that don't fit with the real you. some will fit, I am sure of it.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@reflectingmonkey I really appreciate your tips and reply. Thanks again ,Reflecting🐞
Carazaa · F
If you are referring to panic attacks, then relax all your muscles whenever you are stressed and breathe calmly during the week, and you won't have a panic attack again. Don't cancel because of fear, you'll be ok, tell your date about it and if he doesn't understand then he's not a good guy.

Also, if you are afraid of an event like a speech, a date, an exam, a performance then ask your doctor for a blood pressure medication to help lower your heartbeat so you won't be scared. Its a stage fear medication There is also Xanax which is a narcotic medication and will also block fear, but it is not recommended if you have to think too and sound intelligent or have a glass of wine🤣
biandlargeny · 56-60, M
Ok here's the deal if he's asked you out you already have the upper hand. You are in control. Sit back and breathe. Prepare a couple open ended questions that pique your interest. Nothing romance or relationship oriented but rather hobbies or vacation spots. Books or movies what do you in prefer. These conversations can lead to stories and experiences. From there the conversation should flow easier.

Ask the questions but don't dominate the conversation let him ask about you as well..
Breathe and have fun. V
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@biandlargeny But thats where panic comes in..he only knows a bit of me on a first hang out, not the anxiety ridden woman , who, to SOME guys, may view me as a burden. And I know Im not offering a woman who can do lots of things..so Im not a whoke person in a way.
biandlargeny · 56-60, M
@Coralmist you can slowly let that side come out over time. If you think there's a connection. Keep it light at first, fun conversation. Don't worry about revealing too much. Let this develop.
Driver2 · M
only be concerned with letting yourself down. if and when you are comfortable with them you can reveal as much as you want. Nothing wrong with not trusting strangers.
Banksy83 · 41-45, M
You have nothing to prove ,if they on a date with you they obviously like you .Dont doubt yourself and just be you that is all you have to do .Your a beautiful and vivacious babe let that be your trump card ,when you part and arranged next date he will not sleep for thinking about you. Your voice will be like an echo in his mind ,he will dream of your wedding day and have the names of your children picked and hope you agree with him ,his life will never be the same again after he meets you.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Banksy83 Aww well I appreciate that and is very sweet. But even if a guy liked me for an hour on a date or my appearance, I do think many would find "greener pastures" when I have to say no to fun outings. (Some social activities give me anxiety). 😞But, i need to remember there may be a few who wouldnt...ty🦋
Banksy83 · 41-45, M
@Coralmist I would shower you with Roses and buy you things if you want things .I would give you my bike but I borrowed it I think of you as soon as I wake up you are a phenomenon, like Jennifer Lawrence in Silver linings playbook or Hunger games .truly you are my dream woman , I would let you have the pick of my horses and ride along the beach behind you watching your hair blowing in the wind if you dont wear a safety hat
Strongtea · 22-25, M
Erm I have got super drunk on some dates to calm my nerves and ended up embarrassing myself horribly, maybe drink a little bit but not too much?
JoyfulSilence · 46-50, M
Just relax and be yourself. It is easier. He will find out all about you eventually, anyway. You want a patient man, too. And one who likes you as you are.
CestManan · 46-50, F
How can I feel good on a date when I am not offering a whole person?

When I read that my knee-jerk thought was, "A lot of amputees go on dates." but I guess that isn't what you meant.
reubles · 41-45, M
FaceTime, you'll be familiar enough with having a live conversation with them, then it won't be so jarring when you finally meet
You really don't have any idea how many men never date and feel totally inadequate because of it.
Iwillwait · M
You are a whole person. Just take a risk and reap the rewards.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Iwillwait Ty so much. I guess I feel, what am I really offering if half the time I may need to decline a guys invite to fun outings (due to anxiety. 😟)? But I do offer kindness and compassion. Its hard to think its enough.
Iwillwait · M
@Coralmist I understand. I feel like that too.
11knaves11 · 41-45, M
Drop a deuce THEN shower....👌🏽
11knaves11 · 41-45, M
@MethDozer



🤣🤘🏽
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@11knaves11 Im not sure if you mean this literally, or if its like some analogy to dating? 😃
11knaves11 · 41-45, M
@Coralmist boffum
WillaKissing · 56-60
Just relax and be the real you, and if they do not like the real you. Then you know he is not worthy of your time.
SW-User
Yes, don't go!! Most men are shit..
Oor.. Have a glass of wine before you go😅
SW-User
@SW-User I'm sorry these are awful advice...
When you feel anxiety rising, eat a date and breathe deeply
Banksy83 · 41-45, M
@BeefySenpie she might choke doing that
Gilgamesh · 31-35, M
Well try and just do as you are doing. Then slowly open up about this problem. That way you will also know if the person is worth it or not
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Gilgamesh I think if they ditch me, it wont be that they arent good enough for me, but that I really am baggage. 😞
Gilgamesh · 31-35, M
@Coralmist again if its lile that you will know who can handle it. Everyone has baggage. You could always find someone to practice on and learn how to deal with it. Maybe also find someone to talk about the baggage. And then it might not feel that bad
JohnnySpot · 56-60, M
Plan on giving him a blow job after the dinner.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@JohnnySpot After the FIRST time hanging out??? Hmmmm...😶
JohnnySpot · 56-60, M
@Coralmist Almost all of the women from Plenty of Fish did.
JohnnySpot · 56-60, M
@Banksy83 I was here to apologize for these replies but reconsidered.
Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M
I haven't been on a date in 20 years lol
Banksy83 · 41-45, M
gdon39 · 46-50, M
Slow and deep, methodical breathing but keep it simple
JohnnySpot · 56-60, M
Let him see you in the nude before you go?
Banksy83 · 41-45, M
I dreamt about you again last night,in my dream I came home from a buisness trip and you were upstairs having a shower, I joined you and we washed each other then made love
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Banksy83 You dreamed that last night? 😮
Banksy83 · 41-45, M
@Coralmist I was annoyed that I woke up
RedBaron · M
Have a fig instead! 😂
Lilymoon · F
You're under no obligation to tell anyone anything. Have a glass of wine and enjoy yourself. 🍷
NinjaStar · 100+
I have never seen a bug as lovely as a tree
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@NinjaStar What do you mean?
NinjaStar · 100+
@Coralmist take it easy!
SW-User
It’s just a date, not an arranged marriage. Just have fun and think of them as a cool person to get to know initially. You might just end up as friends and that’s okay too.
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