Why feminism is ruining relationships more than empowering women?

I am probably a modern feminists nightmare. Im submissive through choice to my husband in all areas and I'm 100% certain we are both thriving in a very strong marriage. Clearly defined roles work for us - we both know what's required of us and I feel that there's a greater sense of love, safety and protection in a marriage where the man is leading, provided you can fully depend that all the decisions he makes are in your best interests. I wanted to give the view that feminism should be about promotion of female choice, not smashing any input or control of men in your life and this is still a choice that makes some women very happy.

Nah, I disagree.

Call me cynical but the sole reason why you have this perception that relationships are less stable now is because people are no longer either legally or socially obligated to commit into relationships they're unhappy with.

It's always been like this, it's just that a significant amount of "happy, long-lasting" relationships from the past were pure and simple façades.

I think the relationships that femimism has ruined were already ruining the people in them. We're not born with someone or "meant to be" with a man, unless you believe in Plato's soulmates. Feminism has taught us to be sufficient in ourselves. Trust me when women are truly loved and respected and happy with someone, they're not going to break up just because they want to prove they can be alone.
For me personally, I was always a feminist and that's allowed me to choose men who are good for me (who are also feminist). I've never talked badly about any one of them whom I have chosen. I'm glad to have good relations with men knowing I will not be disrespected or abused or end up in weird power dynamics based on gender and I thank my feminist ideology for that.

I think feminism is very important.
I would not want to live in a world without it. Sorry, but if I was transported in time I'd rather go live recklessly and die young and horribly then "safe and abused". At least I'd get some adventure out of it.

I'm sorry, but what is it ruining exactly? Oh no, women have equal power to ruin relationships just like men have been able to do forever? That seems awful...I mean awfully fair. Tbh, I think some relationships seem more unstable because people are more equal now.

I think it's perfectly natural for a woman to not need a man for anything. I'm self sufficient and capable and have my own identity. I'm not a child. I'm an adult. I'm also happily married to someone equally capable as a person. I think it's ok in a relationship to respect that about each other and respect if someone says "I don't want your help right now" just as you might respect if someone says " I'm hurting or depressed and need your help right now". If you can't do both, then what the fuck kind of person are you, is what I'd be asking myself.

The beauty in a healthy relationship is that you choose each other every day and help and support each other because you are better together and love each other.

Perhaps people should appreciate each other for who they are as people and want them to be their best selves and good things for each other and not because they are a specific gender or want them or yourself to be weaker because you "need a man" or "need a female" around the house for gender stereotyped roles.

Also, I think it's a crap basis to have to feel "needed" to have an identity. And people shouldn't have to "need" someone as the basis to be in a relationship either.

I do think some people worry some feminists go too far and abuse their boyfriends. Yeah women can be abusers too. But it's not feminism and a lack of "needing a man" that is to blame.

It's just basic smartassery, rebelliousness, or possibly a self defensive reaction because of insecurity or abuse.

Men do the same. No one blames their manly rights or says it's not empowering for men to have self proclaimed opinions about bachelorhood or about how he may feel women can't do the laundry as well as he can or something.

OMG, I feel like I could write a sitcom about now. Lol

Relationships can be ruined in infinite ways,
but there are only a few paths to long term success.

The keys are empathy, honesty, good-will and non-aggressive communication styles.

I think if one could survey all relationships and examine those with feminists and those without, one would find that exactly the same percentage of couples split up in both categories.

Being independent is not necessarily an obstacle to success as long as both sides enjoy being equally so.
But if one is highly dependent or clingy while the other is struggling to achieve individuality and fulfillment, it will fall apart irrespective of sex, gender, orientation or values.

When values and needs are at odds and the couple cannot create mutually workable solutions, failure is inevitable.

In my view, feminism is as beneficial to the man as to the woman. She works, which means she contributes significantly to their survival and prosperity. He helps at home, which means he appreciates how much work is involved in cooking, laundry, cleaning etc and never takes her domestic chores for granted. Both feel more appreciative of the other's contributions. By arriving at consensus in their decisions, neither dominates the other. An independent woman is more interesting. She brings new conversations to the relationship, helps short circuit the effects of familiarity and boredom. She is more sexually honest, communicative, active and more likely to reach orgasm more easily. He is more likely to enjoy pleasuring her as much as his own pleasure. If they have kids, he gets to enjoy a much closer relationship with them, and she regards his role as being just as important as her own.

The only exception would be if the man was the type who believes it's her duty to obey him, who cares nothing for her needs, talents to be of use in society, and who refuses to help equally with housework and child rearing or their other projects. (Yet I can't imagine that a feminist would couple with such a man.)
If she did find herself trapped and controlled by such a person, then feminism might be one of her few routes to freedom, usefulness in the wider world, and personal fulfillment.

An unhappy woman only results in misery for the whole family.

I definitely do agree with that, but there's many more facets to it than that. Men for the most part, are the same as they have always been, except perhaps slightly less cultured than older times.
Some women are trying to act like men, being as promiscuous as men, forging career paths, being independent etc. Sadly, elements of this do go against female biological imperatives. In saying that, women can do whatever they want and I'm definitely not saying they can't, or even that they shouldn't, but there needs to be an acknowledgement of the ramifications.
Women can actually lose their ability to pair bond with men if they are exceedingly promiscuous because men and women connect in different ways. Women connect on an intimate level much quicker than men. Men connect after being intimate with a single woman over time so it's not quite as damaging if men sleep around. Although if you talk to enough men, you'll realise that not as many of them sleep around as society might have you think.
Women also remove their financial dependency on men when they forge careers which, in my opinion is wonderful. I think most men would be happy with the idea of only having to spend some money on their female partner rather than most of their money. The problem is that some women developed an attraction to the financial provision of men which is extremely unhealthy. Not only is it fickle, but it's not an attraction to anything of substance.
In essence, in the last 30 years or so, some women gradually lost sight of what the true values of men were. Strength, courage, fortitude, resourcefulness, ambition, creativity, innovation and the like. Not to mention the unique perspective that men have on things. Essentially some women learnt how to be attracted to what men provide rather than who they are. As a result, they set themselves up for failure as a man doesn't necessarily work to build an empire or to acquire riches. A man works for what he truly loves in the world. A woman can be a part of that if she actually sees who he is. The provision that may come off that is not a sturdy foundation for a relationship.
Feminism was definitely important to bring women onto equal playing field with men but now it definitely does seem like some of them are trying to force an equal outcome scenario; where men are put through the same trials that women were put through historically. To me, feminism in today's day and age is simply a reminder that men at their core love true women and do want to make society better for them in comparable ways to how women make society better for men.

Apologies for the length but I did have a few thoughts to add. 😁

All the "ism's" have the danger of encouraging people to stop treating people like individuals and just cookie-cutter members of a group identity with equal blame and privilege.

Once that dynamic is mainstream in a movement and fostering a suspicious them-vs-us mindset, it permanently divides the groups, since there is nothing any individual can do to make a connection, since they will always be part of their group, responsible for any and all of their current and past sins.

It's important and useful to understand overall group dynamics, how one class of society might be affected positively or negatively by the overall tendencies of another class, but disengaging the individuals in those groups pretty much guarantees it becomes a war.

Any relationship built on:

"I don't need you" is doomed to fail. Showing great gratitude, appreciation, love, affection, care, and putting the other person ahead is what relationships thrive on. We love being needed, and when we get attached to someone, we actually do need them after a certain point 😅

So embracing that is necessary and "I don't need you" is the wrong mentality for family, unity, and relationships. We should trust each other, rely on each other, support each other, cover each other's back and weaknesses because nobody is trult independent and has it all. We're human. And I think this is what's missing in current relationships and why it's so empty. We try to maintain a partner like they're discardable. But that's not how they're meant to be. We're meant for home, attachment, and belonging

I like traditional gender roles and I’d really like to be a homemaker and just fuss over my husband. But I’m glad feminism taught me that I could get on perfectly fine without a man and gave me lots of options. I do think however too, that they’ve done a lot of damage to the feminine and to traditional gender roles.

I'm a little confused with the idea that being a feminist ruins relationship. Maybe you know something I don't but feminism is about all genders having equal rights and opportunities.

I'm not sure how that can be going in the wrong direction.

Even if a woman tries to observe a more traditional role men still shout equality.
Things have gone too far now!

Feminism is a way of thinking and looking at the world, it is not necessarily a political affiliation and it is neither monolithic or unchanging.

I don't have intimate relationships with men. That is because I am gay rather than because I am a feminist. I work in sector that is traditionally overwhelmingly male. Feminism for me has been a coping mechanism. First, to establish myself and survive in a hostile workplace that actively discriminated, and continues to discriminate, against me solely on the grounds of my sex. Secondly, to find a way of cultivating healthy relationships and friendships with my mainly male colleagues.

It's working pretty well so far 🤷‍♀️

There is always someone who has to bring feminism up like it’s a thing in every day life. It’s not.

i think there are many ways of feminism, some are open, encouraging.
others more focused on retributive justice
i know over all MY life is better because of it. and I am a Man

Feminists have taught me more about women than all the dude-bros

maybe some should allow there are women who WANT to be subservient.
best to be sure it is consensual tho

I personally don't know any woman like that.
But I heard about women who just couldn't fight the fight, got too lost in the topic and offed themselves. And one of the reasons might be that, at least in my opinion, feminist themes oftentimes point out the negative stuff and support victim mentality but don't offer any reasonable solutions. It's not that hard to get lost in it if somebody is constantly drumming into your head how much others hurt you and then you start noticing all the real filth in real life with increased sensitivity, to the point you're unable to see the positive. All the more if someone has had personal negative experience.

My opinion is that these women who delve into these topics very often went through some trauma directly involving abuse from men or the system where the power of men couldn't be ignored. So if they have problems with partners, it might come from their personal trauma.

🤷🏻‍♀️ What does it mean to ‘try to show that you don’t need men’?

People talk about some romanticized ideal of how relationships used to be, but the average guy doesn’t want to be needed for a woman’s survival either anymore. The guys that do want a woman to have to depend on him to survive tend to have high rates of abusiveness… so.. that’s not great 😅

People ruin relationships.

I think this cuts both ways.. Men can now cook and manage a house for themselves and a social life can come to you on line. No one "Has to be in a relationship" any more.😷

It's war on the family and depopulation agenda

Unmarried women +37 pts for baby murder

I'm not sure, but I dont think the complaint about femini is new.

I've been hearing the same thing since I was a kid.
Granted I hear less of it now, but the one thing in pretty sure about is that I doubt it's "overgrown" much in my lifetime, even if it's thriving and getting in the way sometimes.

Feminist poster.

Yes.

I think today feminism is divivded into two distinct types...
... and that some have no idea of what it actually is.

Its name is unfortunate, as it today implies something very different to what it intitially intended to mean.

Some people make feminism this aggressive, man hating , man degrading, man manipulating ideal.

When what it truly is, is an attitude of equality.

Some feminism today is no better than misogyny 😔

Because men aren't interested in learning about feminism at all

If you're not against feminism, what exactly are you then? What's the objective of your post?

This society don't have naturally matured people to understand the life itself.

Men and women don't have the same priorities in a relationship, and women absolutely insist on having their way about everything, so men usually go along in order to avoid a fight, causing a lot of resentment that eats away at the relationship, then the women wonder what happened, that the man isn't as close as he once was.

You are literally a dude pretending to be a woman while your preach about you conservative values

I dunno, many feminists are gay.
So in a way it could be seen as PROMOTING relationships 😜

[media=https://youtu.be/dU-ZqdeM1nM]

It’s even worse then you say it gives them dangerous entitlement and paranoia against males.

If a relationship is ruined by feminism, it probably wasn't a great relationship to begin with. Probably for the better for both of them.

Very thoughtful

You is a twat

women FEAR men to the point of changing sexuality over it, in some cases. men are not all to be feared despite the general strength difference. some women are strong and fucked in the head anyways.

That was the point all along, turn men against women. Notice how so much of the rhetoric pits men against women? ‘Men make x amount here?’ Well maybe it’s because the guy is at work more and the wife is helping in some other way, men and women are a natural team! It’s all a plot to undermine our societies our lower our birth rates!