Why feminism is ruining relationships more than empowering women?

Is it just me or you also observe that many females who are (so-called) feminists try to show that they don't need men and ruin the relationship with their partners?
I am not against feminism, but this isn't going in right direction.

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Scribbles · 36-40, F

I think feminism is very important.
I would not want to live in a world without it. Sorry, but if I was transported in time I'd rather go live recklessly and die young and horribly then "safe and abused". At least I'd get some adventure out of it.

I'm sorry, but what is it ruining exactly? Oh no, women have equal power to ruin relationships just like men have been able to do forever? That seems awful...I mean awfully fair. Tbh, I think some relationships seem more unstable because people are more equal now.

I think it's perfectly natural for a woman to not need a man for anything. I'm self sufficient and capable and have my own identity. I'm not a child. I'm an adult. I'm also happily married to someone equally capable as a person. I think it's ok in a relationship to respect that about each other and respect if someone says "I don't want your help right now" just as you might respect if someone says " I'm hurting or depressed and need your help right now". If you can't do both, then what the fuck kind of person are you, is what I'd be asking myself.

The beauty in a healthy relationship is that you choose each other every day and help and support each other because you are better together and love each other.

Perhaps people should appreciate each other for who they are as people and want them to be their best selves and good things for each other and not because they are a specific gender or want them or yourself to be weaker because you "need a man" or "need a female" around the house for gender stereotyped roles.

Also, I think it's a crap basis to have to feel "needed" to have an identity. And people shouldn't have to "need" someone as the basis to be in a relationship either.

I do think some people worry some feminists go too far and abuse their boyfriends. Yeah women can be abusers too. But it's not feminism and a lack of "needing a man" that is to blame.

It's just basic smartassery, rebelliousness, or possibly a self defensive reaction because of insecurity or abuse.

Men do the same. No one blames their manly rights or says it's not empowering for men to have self proclaimed opinions about bachelorhood or about how he may feel women can't do the laundry as well as he can or something.

OMG, I feel like I could write a sitcom about now. Lol

Curvyvixen · 36-40, F

@Scribbles What you said is totally true. Feminism is really important but feminism today has gone on totally a different track. Women who really needs to be empowered they dont get the taste of it and those who are already empowered just misusing it.

Yes, you should definitely write a sitcom or maybe a documentary on it

Scribbles · 36-40, F

@CurvyvixenI disagree. I think feminism is the same as ever.

Some people who get a taste of power will misuse it. I just think blaming "women" or blaming "feminism" is not addressing what the actual issue is. Which is that people aren't perfect.

People simply need to be taught empathy, learn new skills, to see the larger picture, and to see the consequences of their actions. Sometimes that makes a huge difference.

I'm reminded of a woman I mentor. She's the same age as me. But she's a very insecure person with anxiety issues. Whenever she grasps a form of power, she tends to misuse it rather like a child would- to either avoid work and responsibility and/or try to make someone look bad to make herself look good. It's sort of sad, annoying, and cute at the same time. She gets caught at it and sometimes called out and she learns slowly from it. Learning by failing is still learning.

But the fault isn't her gender or feminism. It's a lack of experience in a leadership role and a lack of experience in team work and team building skills.

Perhaps when the author says that feminism is ruining relationships, it's not actually feminism but simply the fact that some women are inexperienced with standing up for themselves and feeling secure and thus react more extremely then others may think they need to be.