Here’s my opinion, free and worth every penny.

You were knowingly disrespectful. You thought such a daring move would be hilarious. If what you say is true, there’s no way you didn’t know the effect it might have.

It’s not about what YOU think or believe that’s relevant.

When you are a guest in someone’s home, it means that you honor and respect and show gratitude because they chose to invite you. It’s THEIR home, not yours. If you can’t be respectful, don’t go to their house.

Pretty simple.

In this case, it’s even worse. It was your mother you were disrespectful to. Not that I think mothers get a gold pass, but what you describe was intentional and quite childish. Then she explained WHY it was disrespectful and you disrespect her even more, and you still are doing that, like a teenager muttering “It was just a joke,” after hurling a brick through someone’s living room window.

Practice saying, “I was wrong, I am sorry.” Then don’t do it again. And, a caution: Even if you don’t hold anything sacred, many people do. If you can’t even honor that with silence, then you’d better be careful about where you go and what you do. There are places where you could end up seriously hurt or dead. For a joke.

I went to a Lakota powwow once, and during a dance performance, an eagle feather fell off one of the costumes. Everything stopped, and four Native American chieftains (three of whom, I learned later, were decorated WWII veterans) silently retrieved the eagle feather, chanted, and carried it off for safekeeping. It was no joke to them.

First, I think you underestimated the extent to which that object is regarded as a sacred symbol .
So what people heard was a lot more than a joke about leather.

Second, even if Native American heritage were not part of this story, many people would find it quite jarring if someone looks at an ordinary object and suddenly blurts out a word like "kinky." That's simply not the way most people talk .

I think this might be a case of your Internet usage causing you to develop a skewed view of people.

In short, both the object and the word you used have connotations that are different for you than for your family. Hence the different perceptions of what you said.

I don't think so, but I am not surprised to hear people were upset. You were just being funny. Seems like just a misunderstanding that could be forgotten about. Hope that she lets it go and forgives you 💛

I get it, it could have been meant as a joke but I have a very good friend who is 100% Navajo and I know they hold certain things as very very sacred and I would actually be afraid to make light of it. Native American culture is very powerful and spiritual and I think you crossed a line.

I am a proud Cree Nation native myself. Honestly there's nothing wrong with a joke but when it comes to a tribal or ceremonial item of such great importance that is not something to joke about that is like making fun of somebody's heritage. Or insulting the ancestors I don't find it hilarious at all

It does sound like something a 12 year old would do

While I understand you were trying to be hunorous many Native Americans connect feathers to our creator. A lot of spiritual rituals are centered around earth elements including feathers because some tribes consider them a gift from the creator beyond the sky. Feather fans are used as part of cleansing rituals like smudging or even may represent the life of a person that has passed on. I would never call someone a jerk without knowing the whole story but I would suggest you approach your mom when things aren't as heated and ask her to tell you more about the importance of the fan. I would say the fan is a remembrance from a person that has passed and she will probably go in depth on the types and colors of the feathers and what they represent. I hope they forgive you and everyone can move on.

Jokes are one thing, using a sacred item isn’t!!

I'm part Native American and I would find that offensive and disrespectful.

That goes along with the problem statement...

I don't think that saying " I was just making a joke" automatically counts as a defense. Jokes can be offensive and hurtful.

If you, unknowingly, were mocking something of religious significance, why not treat this as a learning experience, apologize, and explain that now you know better?

They may have overreacted,hard to say not being there,but it's their house and their stuff.
So maybe a bit more respect?

We live in a society where catering the the offended is paramount. EVERYBODY seeks out something to offend themselves.

I'm sure you meant no harm but I can see how they might be offended.

Seems they are very proud of their heritage.

It sounds like an innocent joke to me.

no lol. i think its funny lol

Smack all the butts you can get away with, if that's your thing, have your thing.