I am the jerk here?

My mom and her side is all native American. She has this feather fan on display in the living room. A bunch of us were over for dinner yesterday and I made a comment about how it looked kinky with these leather tassle things hanging from the handle. I picked it up and pretended to smack my one sister's butt with it while laughing. My mom got offended as did my oldest sister. I have 2 older sisters. I got lectured essentially. I still don't think making a joke is wrong.

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DrWatson · 70-79, M

First, I think you underestimated the extent to which that object is regarded as a sacred symbol .
So what people heard was a lot more than a joke about leather.

Second, even if Native American heritage were not part of this story, many people would find it quite jarring if someone looks at an ordinary object and suddenly blurts out a word like "kinky." That's simply not the way most people talk .

I think this might be a case of your Internet usage causing you to develop a skewed view of people.

In short, both the object and the word you used have connotations that are different for you than for your family. Hence the different perceptions of what you said.