Would you ever be in a committed friend with benefits situation?

@Bleed
I think this is what I mean.

I do want to actually care about and choose each other, but I don't need the rest of the "we are attached" signs.

And FWB if you aren't actually friends sounds complicated and confusing.

Some level of trust mixed with desire would make for a good time.

@SageWanderer I think what I mean is you care about each other, maybe you even love them too. You have sex and intimacy. But you don't have to sign a contract or lease or become completely entangled legally.

@HowtoDestroyAngels I'm sorry she made you feel that way. Relationships make me feel that way, like I'm better alone and focusing on being a mom.

But imagine having a friend you trust, someone that makes you laugh and has your back, but doesn't enclose your existence within the rules and expectations of marriage/living together/being joint everything. You have your own space, your own life, your own thoughts, but someone to share with. And lots of sex. Not obligatory sex, but sex with passion because you care about this person but you don't feel suffocated by meeting their needs...

@ScreamingFox I hadn't thought of that concept. Thank you so much for pointing it out to me. Maybe that's just what I need.

Yeah, exactly.. That’s why I said it wouldn’t be easy to just have casual sex for long.. without the expectations.. Because sex is not casual in any way shape or form. No matter how much it is being made to seem that way in today’s world.. @ScreamingFox

@deathfairy yeah I don't want casual sex. It is empty and I don't want to risk disease.

Maybe there's another word for what I'm describing lol

I mean, a friend with benefits can meet you at the space you are describing. As long as both of you are on the same page and their perspective is like yours, to be committed sexually without pushing boundaries of other spaces in your life. That level of honesty and respect can be and should be the norm.

So I guess it doesn’t matter what we call it, I know what you are looking for, and you will know the right person when you meet them. @ScreamingFox

@SUPERVlXEN I think it could be simple, beautiful, sexy and lasting with a partner who understood and wanted something similar.

@ScreamingFox
I'm not sure about the lasting part. There can always come something between you and them to my experience. But it can be simple and beautiful for as long as it lasts. There'll still be pain and feelings involved when it dies after several years, even without ever having any expectations of taking things further.

@Degbeme I always wonder what that means though. Like we have to own each other and enmesh to be together? Because that's what relationships feel like.

@ScreamingFox if they're not up my butt, then what's the point? 🤨

@SooperSarah

@ajent86 I don't really know how to say it, but you have sex with your best friend that you love but you don't get married, get a mortgage and sign a bunch of contracts together.

@ScreamingFox Some commitments are implied, rather than signed on legal documents.

Anyway, yes, I’ve had a few where we enjoy each other’s company and bodies without implied obligation. Sure.

@uncalled4 does serious have to mean marriage and joint accounts though. Can't you just seriously love each other and be happy having your own space?

@ScreamingFox I don't think so. My former guitar player has lived with his gf for almost 30 years now

@ScreamingFox I think it’s just the natural progression and growth people might need. And people change everyday. What works for us today might not so much tomorrow. I’m projecting of course plus I’m insane.

@SpectralMourning I change and grow every day and believe that's a personal thing. It's hard for people to change and grow together without resentment. I want the space to be me and for them to have space to be them. So if we do grow apart it's clean and respectful. Not a legally binding commitment when change is inevitable.

@ScreamingFox Makes total sense.

@Nunlover that's all I found when I was looking too. It's gross.

I'm good alone though.

@ScreamingFox I’m good alone too but my arm is getting so big 🥹