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i dont know what to do anymore

im 14 and hopless. i really dont know what to do anymore with my life, ive never felt so defeated in my entire life. i really need someones help but i dont want to bother or annoy anyone. i have been sh for a while now and i cant stop. i really dont want anyone to find out, but deep inside i want someone to notice so that they can know how much im struggling. i want to tell my teacher, but i dont know if i can trust that she wont tell my parents, cause i know ill get into so much trouble if my parents find out. ive really reached the end of everything. i dont even know why im still here and i lowkey just make so many peoples lifes worse. i cant do this anymore i really cant.
ninalanyon · 61-69, T
You are 14 but your SW profile says 22-25?
Carazaa · F
@ninalanyon Because she probably will have more people to talk to if she says she is older. Probably to get more support.
LileLala · 13-15
@ninalanyon lol sorry i just choice a random age
Matt85 · 36-40, M
You are too young to be feeling like this. Add maybe 70 years and it would be understandable.
LileLala · 13-15
@Matt85 but my feelings are valid right?? i am slowly healing tho through Christ💛
DunningKruger · 61-69, M
You are a child. Figuring out life as you grow up is just part of the process we all go through. It is intensely personal to you, of course, because it's what you're living through, but we have all been there.

The adults in your life — parents, teachers, whomever — are supposed to help guide you through this period. Unfortunately, it's all too common for our adults to be shit at their jobs and force us to figure it out on our own, to make our own mistakes that might turn out catastrophically.

Just realize that, although it may not seem like it now, things get better. You will figure things out, which will introduce you to new problems that you'll have to figure out. That's just life. It's hard and it's painful and it seems like there is nothing else, but life is also full of wonder and joy. You just need to figure out how to find it within yourself.

So, tell your teacher. If your parents find out, unless they're monsters, all they will want to do is help you get through this period. So you might really want to talk to them, too.
LileLala · 13-15
@DunningKruger this made me sob so bad i appreciate that so much!!💛
youre soo right life does get better and it has been like a month since i posted. i self isolated myself from others and was healing through that time. i am lowkey nervous to grow up i do wish i could stay a teen girl forever but thats not possible😭😭 i want you know that your message helped some random person on the internet it made me feel loved and i appreciate you for that i have slowly stopped sh and my scars have almost fully disappear once again thank you!! LIFE IS WORTH LIVNG😍 and i hope you feel that way aswell love yaa xx
LuciferMorningstar · 56-60, M
Do you go to church or follow a religion? Talk to a religious leader if you do. Aren’t they not allowed to talk to anyone what you discuss with them or is that only Catholic confession? I’m not religious by any stretch. I’m just making a suggestion that no one else has made that might help.

Life is a struggle from the time you begin your preteens until you retire, unfortunately. Have you ever heard the term about not wanting to adult? You shouldn’t have to until you’re a high school junior deciding on colleges. Then as a senior plotting how to pay for it all with parents help, etc. Then graduation and turning 18. Don’t over try to adult if you are so young. In other words, try not to grow up so fast if you don’t have to. Talk to that religious leader. Talk to that favorite teacher. Ask them to not talk to your parents at this time. You need their confidence so you can open up to them. If they promise, proceed. If they can’t then back away. Good Luck! 🍀
LileLala · 13-15
@LuciferMorningstar i am actually Christian💛 i am slowly healing as we speak. thank you so much!! your comment made me sob to know that someone actually cares</33 LIFE IS WORTH LIVING FOR(im glad that i know that now) i also have got back my relationship with the Lord even tho its not easy. this made me open my eyes on how i shouldnt rush to grow, i want you to know that your message has helped some random person on the planet. your so sweet aswell😭😭 i also have stopped sh for a while now and hoping forever my scars are slowly disappearing. oh and yes to answer your question i do go to Youth and it has helped me get out of the hole i was drowning in for so long it feels so good to know that i can talk in past tense about it. I LOVE YAA</33
Carazaa · F
It is hard being 14, life gets better so just hang on. Exercise for at least 20 minutes everyday helps for depression. So do antidepressants. Stay away from drugs and alcohol. find someone to talk to like a school counselor, or suicide hotline or warm line on the phone. Find some fun books to read for your age. Ask the librarian. Ask your parents to join a sport or a class like dance, soccer, art, swimming, iceskating, ski team, choir, etc. Rec classes are cheap and they have scholarships for single parents. (I read books for hrs every day when I was a child, I also walked in nature, sang in choir, danced ballet, read the Bible, and talked to friends, it all helped)
LileLala · 13-15
@Carazaa it helps to know that you think my feelings are valid💛 thank you so much fothis message and appreciate you for it!! thank you for taking your time to help me. i am slowly getting my life back together i literally just joined netball today and also have been playing soccer for weeks now and have bought a book called hearstopper! and also take walks for at least an hour. yes i took your advice 😍 you really helped me. i have slowly stopped sh for awhile now and my scars have almost fully disappeared. i do try to read my Bible daily and i have started taking my relationship with the Lord seriously even tho it is hard I LOVE YAA</33 take care💛
Carazaa · F
@LileLala I am so happy that you are feeling better. And you made my day saying those nice things!
Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
I think you should tell your Teacher. And if they tell your parents. Yes it might make things complicated but adults [i]should[/i] react when a child is in danger.
LileLala · 13-15
@Queendragonfly i appreciate that so much and i am no aware that my parents do care💗 take care </33
SW-User
Hi, you really need to start communicating with as many others as possible. Whatever the result, surely nothing is worse than just carrying on alone and in silence. You may well be surprised by the response of others, there really is a lot of untapped compassion and empathy in so many mind/hearts.

At your age you haven't reached the end of anything, certainly not of the capacity and the possibility of positive change and transformation. You are here to be with others, to share, to inter-act, to love, to care. Please be strong and believe in yourself and your own potential for good.

Sincerely, all the best.
LileLala · 13-15
@SW-User "At your age you haven't reached the end of anything." THIS MADE SOB SO BAD. i appreciate this message so much💛 i do believe i am getting better and healing slowly from the hole i was drowning in for so long! it helps to know someone out there thinks my emotions are valid. its been a month now since ive posted this and def have gotten so much better. you helped me thank you for that. i have stopped sh for a while now and my scars are almost fully disappeared. I LOVE YAA
take care!
SW-User
@LileLala Hi again, glad to hear you are feeling better. Stay strong.

All the best.
Your teacher would be legally obliged to report it to your parents, the school head and the counsellor if the school has one.

If there is a school counsellor, that would be the best person to talk to.

What kinds of self harm are you doing?
How do you feel just before you do it?
What thoughts, experiences or events trigger those feelings?

You can message me if you like.
I can't guarantee to be able to help with something as deep as SH,
but I can listen to what's going on in your life generally if you need to talk about it.
Xalvadora · 18-21, F
I've been in your shoes before. I just relied on strangers on the internet for support since I really didn't have a support system at home.
DaddyThomas · 46-50, M
Tell your gp, he can’t legally discuss it with your parents
LileLala · 13-15
@DaddyThomas whats a gp???lol sorry
yea and i do trust him :/

 
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