How can I injure myself to be hospitalized for a while?

Maybe if I just fall down a flight of stairs or something. I don’t want to die or injure myself permanently. Just injure myself to be hospitalized for a while. There is a woman that lives in my apartment building who I have a huge crush on. She is so beautiful and I can’t stop thinking about her. But I never get the opportunity to talk with her. She works as a nurse at the local hospital. So if I get injured bad enough, maybe I will finally be able to get to know her better.

LordShadowfire · 46-50, MVIP

@FreddieUK That could be a comedy sketch right there.
"Where's Nurse Smith? I need to talk to her, I broke my finger."
"Sir, Nurse Smith is delivering babies all day, but Nurse Andre can help."
*Enter an eight-foot Norwegian bodybuilder*
"Hallo. I set bone, yes?"

CestManan · 46-50, F

Since when do 50 year olds get crushes?

Besides if she is that cute and has a decent job, she is probably not single.
She is likely in a "relationship" with some online catfish.

For self injury, unless it is well planned, we don't know what the result would be.

Maybe just go to the ER and claim something is hurting.

LordShadowfire · 46-50, MVIP

You really are a far out cat. And in this case, it's not in a good way. Look, just talk to this woman. You don't need to be injured to go see her, just get her phone number. Trust me, bro, playing weird head games where you deliberately hurt yourself to get her attention is only going to backfire.