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LadyGrace Best Comment
Well I think that depends on the situation and which way you want to handle it. But usually just introduce yourself and kind of go from there. Even a short,"Hi, how are you?" starts the ball rolling. But the most important thing in any relationship or new friend, is to be genuine and honest from the start.
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@Dan193 You CAN, Dan. lol A little rhyme there. haha All you have to do is not think about it, Dan. You can drive yourself crazy over thinking about things and then that makes you anxious and nervous and then the next thing you know, fear has gripped you. Don't let that happen. Don't sabotage yourself. Just concentrate on how nice you look and and don't give yourself time to just sit and think about it, because you will talk yourself out of it. Think about how much fun and how refreshing it will be to see new faces and meet new people and you won't be alone anymore. Go for it, Dan! And then I want you to report back to me. lol That way you can't talk yourself out of it. Haha I am holding you accountable young man. 😂🤗🎉😃👏
Dan193 · 31-35, M
@LadyGrace haha please do 😂
I will try it today. We have a holiday here today and there will be a big concert, so I'll go there. I'm hoping I could convince my cousin to come with me, if he is not busy, so maybe we could meet some girls 😂 Setting high expectations over here. I hope I won't feel disappointed by the end of the day. But if he wont come, I'll go anyway, it will be just twice as scarier, but I'll just try to keep your advices in mind and push myself to do it.
I will try it today. We have a holiday here today and there will be a big concert, so I'll go there. I'm hoping I could convince my cousin to come with me, if he is not busy, so maybe we could meet some girls 😂 Setting high expectations over here. I hope I won't feel disappointed by the end of the day. But if he wont come, I'll go anyway, it will be just twice as scarier, but I'll just try to keep your advices in mind and push myself to do it.
@Dan193 Taking your cousin with you, would be great any other time, but not this time. The whole purpose of this lesson is for you to face your fears alone. Don't freak. Just enjoy the sights and sounds and watching people. If you start feeling a little nervous that's okay. Take a little break and go to the concession stand and have a nice hot dog or something you really like and sit down and eat it and just concentrate on enjoying your meal and surroundings and the fresh air. What's the worst thing that could happen, really? You go up to someone and say hi and they say Hi and then walk away? No harm no foul. You just going to the next person. It will be no reflection on you if they turn away. Some people refuse to speak to strangers as they probably have been hurt and they have to learn to trust but if you never take a risk, you'll just stay stuck forever in the same place and we don't want to see that for you. You're not going to the dentist or the funeral home. You're just going out for a nice day in the fresh air. And you don't have to do it all day long. If you do it a few times and you decide you don't want to do it anymore for that day, Don't force yourself. Instead, be proud of yourself that you took that first step. Sometimes that first step always seems the hardest but once you do it, you will get over that hurdle. I'm rooting for you Dan. I know you can do this. Go for it! Dress up like a silly clown and make all the children laugh and have fun. They would love it and you could hide behind all that makeup and clothes just to get you acclimated to something new in a new atmosphere. Just to break the ice. It's just something that makes it a little more fun. Not so stressful. I'll be waiting on that report! 🤓😂😂😂🤗🎈
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
Usually people with similar interests make the best friends for me so I meet them singing karaoke or poetry readings, coffee houses or tea rooms with eclectic entertainment, sporting events and volunteer opportunities. At least some of my friends are the parents of teammates or classmates of the children in my life. Before i got sicker I would go to events or volunteer and if someone interested me I would strike up a conversation while we participated. Never pass up an opportunity to show kindness to another person. It goes a long way in building a bridge to friendship.
An especially easy easy EASY place to meet people that are so loving and friendly right off the bat, the minute you step in the door, are the Southern Baptist Churches. Right off you will think you are with family and that's the way they feel about each other, plus, you'll be getting a great inspirational message from the Lord. And they do have social Gatherings as well. They have barbecues and great dinners and campfires, all kinds of things. They really make you feel wanted and loved. They treat you just like they have known you forever. Haha
SubZeroSlays808 · 26-30, M
I've been trying to unlock that secret for years!
I think the biggest reason it's so hard is because the older people get, the more they want to just stick with what they know and become more inclined to close themselves off to new people, new experiences, etc. The folks that people befriend as children and as teenagers tend to be the ones they try to carry into adulthood with them and think of as their "[b]forever friends[/b]". But these people tend to be so naive that what they don't end up asking themselves is: "[b]If for any reason my 'forever friends' should suddenly turn into people I fucking hate, what happens then?[/b]"
In other words, it's almost like "[b]If you and I didn't grow up in the same neighborhood together, go to the same school together, go to the same church together or work together at the same place for X number of years, then please do not try getting into my personal business![/b]"
You can find groups of adults that are a lot more open and trusting of new people, but it's rare. There's the MeetUp app where you can join social groups and whatnot for things that cater to your interests, but even in my area, I couldn't seem to find much that was up my alley in terms of the local MeetUp groups. That's why I spent some money and started my own!
I think the biggest reason it's so hard is because the older people get, the more they want to just stick with what they know and become more inclined to close themselves off to new people, new experiences, etc. The folks that people befriend as children and as teenagers tend to be the ones they try to carry into adulthood with them and think of as their "[b]forever friends[/b]". But these people tend to be so naive that what they don't end up asking themselves is: "[b]If for any reason my 'forever friends' should suddenly turn into people I fucking hate, what happens then?[/b]"
In other words, it's almost like "[b]If you and I didn't grow up in the same neighborhood together, go to the same school together, go to the same church together or work together at the same place for X number of years, then please do not try getting into my personal business![/b]"
You can find groups of adults that are a lot more open and trusting of new people, but it's rare. There's the MeetUp app where you can join social groups and whatnot for things that cater to your interests, but even in my area, I couldn't seem to find much that was up my alley in terms of the local MeetUp groups. That's why I spent some money and started my own!
Dan193 · 31-35, M
@SubZeroSlays808 ohhh I see now. I'm glad it worked for u. I'll see if that app works for me
SubZeroSlays808 · 26-30, M
@Dan193 It's working, but it has been an extremely slow process. My group has been on the app since the middle of March and meets every other Wednesday, but this last Wednesday was the first time I had someone from the app show up and give my group a chance, so hopefully this stroke of good fortune continues!
nonsensiclesnail · F
DoubleRings · 51-55, F
DoubleRings · 51-55, F
DoubleRings · 51-55, F
@Dan193 yeah you’re welcome. We also made friends with one of our teachers but he got a bit creepy after awhile. It was like he had a crush on me which is flattering (normally) but he was married with older kids at home and it was super awkward so we stopped inviting him along. My friend felt like he would only talk to me and not her as much which was kind of true.
akindheart · 61-69, F
Dan193 · 31-35, M
@akindheart That sounds nice, and no, I haven't but other people mentioned on here, so I went and downloaded ot jist now. Will give it a try
Dan193 · 31-35, M
@akindheart oh. Ok then. I hope it works and thanks for the advices
DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F
DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F
@Dan193 there’s always apps like bumble where you pick the friend option and it operates like tinder. so you can meet some people. There’s some other apps too I just don’t remember their names right this second. I was using one because I have a lot of friends but I don’t have friends who want to go to the club and party. I made it because I wanted to meet more “party” people 😂
No shame in making friends over apps we are in the digi age
No shame in making friends over apps we are in the digi age
Dan193 · 31-35, M
@DeluxedEdition I downloaded 3 apps 2 days ago. And even wrote in description that looking for friendships as well, and set it to both men and women. So far got only 4 matches, and only 1 replied. And she kinda replies once a day x.z I'm starting to think that it won't work.
sarabee1995 · 26-30, F
DoubleRings · 51-55, F
BetweenKittensandRiots · 36-40, MVIP
@SW-User Yeah I'd start buying very loud headphones to drown that shit out real quick.
[media=https://youtu.be/tdVobP7DegY]
[media=https://youtu.be/tdVobP7DegY]
NorthernBear · 51-55, M
Dan193 · 31-35, M
@NorthernBear yeah, nust like everything else
smiler2012 · 56-60
Carissimi · 70-79, F
I’m sorry to hear this. Slow down, and take good care of yourself. Be kind to you. {hugs} 🌷@akindheart
Carissimi · 70-79, F
Similar interests only take you so far. You could meet someone who lives cooking or making pottery as much as you do, but your core values are miles apart. I’ve also met women with similar interests, but their lives are already full, and they have a partner, family, and friends, and perhaps work too. While they like to meet up with others to enjoy an interest, they have no room, or time, to invest time and energy in making new friends. @TexChik
Dan193 · 31-35, M
@SW-User yessss! I'm listeningggg. And ok, like an event or something
Dan193 · 31-35, M
@SW-User I'll screeshot it 😂🤦♂️
froggtongue · M
Dan193 · 31-35, M
@froggtongue how did u do that?
froggtongue · M
@Dan193 just told people i'm new in town and had no friends.
Dan193 · 31-35, M
@SW-User I was the same until recently
ImRileyTheDog · 22-25, F
Dan193 · 31-35, M
@ImRileyTheDog and sit at the bar until some drunk starts yelling at me "WHATS YOUR NAME? HUH?"
CraftyMarieArts · F
Dan193 · 31-35, M
@SW-User we need a different strategy
SinlessOnslaught · 26-30, M
REMsleep · 41-45, F
It is harder but most people make friends at work so working at a place that typifies your intrests or is frequented by people like yourself is always a good idea if it is possible. Thats not always possible so there are sports teams to joins, video game teams to join, meet ups for various things, religious organizations, neighborhood events. But ngl it is hard because everyone has kids, other friends, S.Os and other stuff that keeps them from having time to hang out with new people.
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