@Bittersweet84 I went through this with my husband's sister and it hurt, but I decided to let go and forge on. Be resilient. Persevere. Try to become the best you that you can be. Embrace the solitude for a little while and spend time realigning with what is true to you.

@PromiseProtectionProvision Thank you. This comment is very helpful and validated.💙

@Bittersweet84 You're welcome 💛

@CuTiePi Yes, I know. Well, lesson learned, don't pour too much energy and time for a friend. I'm beginning to move on now. I just needed to vent here.👏🏻

@Bittersweet84 Best place to vent 👌

@CuTiePi Thank you💙

@DoubleRings @DoubleRings One of our common friend suggested, that I "should" apologize to them(Geraldine&Joyce) as I called them out about what they did to me. Apparently they were hurt because I confronted them. In the first place, they failed to validate my feelings, instead, they both justified what happened and blamed our common friend (Liz) for suggesting to attend another bday night out on that night. They repeatedly mentioned "Liz" about it. And justified that there was nothing wrong about what they did.
Now, this lady "Liz" has stated that I should apologize, but for me, I was the one who got hurt first. I don't get why, they are now the victims. At the moment, I'm keeping my distance, and you are correct, they both have narcissistic behaviour. I just hope they wont treat anybody else, like how they treated me.😭

@Bittersweet84 uhm no. You should not apologize for anything. For what?? Telling them how you felt?? That’s an offensive thing to do?? It doesn’t matter who was hurt first bc they shouldn’t have felt “hurt” in the first place. True friends would have felt compassion that they offended one of their own. Even if Liz was the reason, it’s ok to say “we didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, so why don’t we [insert resolution here]?”

It’s ok for you to “take up space” by telling people when you have been hurt by them. If they see that as a personal attack that’s not your problem. That’s soooo problematic. People who cannot listen to others feelings, validate them, and understand their role in them are not healthy people to be friends with and it’s a very difficult behaviour to change.

@DoubleRings It made me contemplate for a bit, yes I was wrong for blaming Liz, I owned up to it. I actually apologized to Liz. But, I'm not too sure if I need to apologize to the people who hurt me the most. I think they want to gaslight me, to make me feel , I was in the wrong. Thank you for this valuable comment. I feel better that someone, understands the concept of what happened. I'm now starting to move on. Thank you so much.💙👏🏻

@Mk8155 Obviously they don't care. But life is sometimes unfair. I'll focus spending time with my family.

@Deserthiker I will do, I will just be cordial and will never say anything more. I will distant myself, from now on. 👏🏻💙

@Bittersweet84 I’ve been let down by most of my ‘friends’ all my life. Down to a very select few.

@Deserthiker Thank you. It's nice to know that someone experienced the same thing.👏🏻💙

@Jenny1234 It could have been a lot better if I did not attend the bday night out. I dedicated my time and effort for her as I was the one who organized the event for the birthday celebrant.. Well lesson learned, never again!

@Bittersweet84 right! Never again!

@Bittersweet84

Thanks for responding; I was actually serious in my question, but after @DoubleRings' reply, I took a "deep dive" and looked through all of your groups.

I now think that you are shy but direct, serious, and you take this very seriously--the social snub--because it was personal / intended, and, as you say:


so you have gotten to know each other a bit.


I'm not sure what you meant by this...? Do you mean that your group coalesced together and has been doing things fir ~5 yrs? Or are you linking it with


??

---

The real heart of this is why they seemingly suddenly are NOT inviting you.

I know other Filipinos/Filipinas, and most are quiet, serious, etc., but fun / funny and talkative when you get to know them.

I see that you've had some bad feeling about your husband, but the far bigger element in your "fora" is a miscarriage which has really devastated you. I don't know if you've always unsure of your looks, or if that is part of the negative self-talk which you have perhaps given yourself as a Christian looking for meaning in the wake of this very sad event.

I think your group likely helped fulfill your desire to have people with whom you vould speak openly, as they had earned your trust over years of interaction.

I cannot say that I have had that sort of event in my own life, or in the lives of women close to me in the real world, so you can dismiss all of this. However, I can imagine that the euphoric exuberance of discovering that you had a new human being growing inside you--with all the hopes, dreams, prayers, plans, purchases--which go along with the expectant part of being pregnant...that ALL of that suddenly being taken from you via a miscarriage WOULD be extremely devastating, and certainly should be, for anyone who actually WANTED to be a parent. You clearly wanted that child, so if course you were devastated.

When this happened, did you turn to this group of 5-yr friends for support? I would think that they were a definite safe port in that horrible personal storm.

While I am sure you have shared other things, positive things, the number of groups about your miscarriage, and esp. the forum about not being able to get over it, make me wonder if that has been most of what you have talked about for a while...?

If so, perhaps either

1) the group has reached their limit of being able to deal with your loss, for now, or

2) you have been enveloped in a shroud of sadness / gloom because of this very awful event, so perhaps you aren't as "fun"/participatory in positive things as you used to be...

?? Do either of those (or perhaps both) resonate with you? You are the one in the situation.

That's the only thing which stood out to me--in my attempt to know you through the proxy of your fora--which looked as though it might hold the key to understanding this very odd behavior of your friends group.

I'm so sorry about your various bad events.

@SomeMichGuy Thanks, but this is not helping the situation.

@SomeMichGuy I'm not shy at all in any way. I'm actually loud, you don't know me, so please stop the judgement and it's not helping. I woud like to move on from this, and your speculation about my personality based on my ethnicity, is not accurate at all. Please stop making comments here mate.

@littlepuppywantanewlife Yes, gradually doing it now.

@AngelUnforgiven I know, I should have not bothered doing things for her. I'll try to move on and keeping my mind occupied. Thank you.💙

@Bittersweet84 its so sad but it happens. You are probably better off without them and the upset that it brings x

@jackjones68 This woman Geraldine (she's 51 yrs old) can't decide about anything by herself, and she has a close friend named Joyce, who manipulates her, in short, she has an enabler friend, who dictates everything to her.

@Bittersweet84 i think Joyce is a bully who knows exactly how to pull the strings. And she probably doesn't have a lot going on in her life and wants to put that unhappiness on others x

@LordShadowfire I should just keep my distance and just trust the process.💙

@Bittersweet84 Exactly. They'll show their true colors soon enough.

@PatKirby I feel your pain. I was just venting. Yes, I'm on the mend now, and I've learned that, don't pour so much energy and time to a friend. I'm gradually moving on. I'm keeping myself busy now.

@Royricky09 It's originally the 51st birthday night out of Geraldin (I'm clearly invited in this specific night out, as I was the one who organized the night out.. Then, when I got there, most of them made another plan of going to another night out (it's bday celebration of my ex-friend) in which I wasn't aware of. They just suddenly planned it right there and then. It's actually really hurtful.

@Bittersweet84 No, it wasn't stupid to cry. I did too. It hurts and I feel it's important to express ourselves and grieve. It's healthy. Although, don't dwell on it for long.

@jackrabbit10 I'm the youngest in the group. I'm 40, they're about early 50's and late 50's. I don't know if that's the reason. If it is, it's very shallow and evil.

@Bittersweet84 could be your so called friends have plan's you may not fit in to,

@jackrabbit10 They made plans that I wasn't aware of, unfortunately. Don't worry I could get through this. 💙