Upset
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Should I just move on and stop the friendship and don't look back?

I'm feeling left out in my friend group. What should I do? Suddenly after they left me and went with others,(to attend another bday celebration) during a night out in which I wasn't invited in. I felt so isolated as they were hinting for me to go, by saying " Liz is waiting for us, there." Because I heard it, repeatedly, I decided just to go home at 9pm.. Feeling hurt and helpless. Confronted the main people who suddenly isolated me, after a week or so. I thought by having a serious conversation with these people, we would solve the issue. Yes, I got carried away, and became emotional, venting what I was feeling (I even cried, because of anger) , my other friend "kinda" said sorry, but my other friend, didn't, and justified what they did to me. And despite of what they did to me, apparently I'm the evil one, because according to "them", they were hurt because I told them what I felt during the night out. Instead of accepting the fact that they hurt me, by ditching me in the middle of our "friend group" night out, they justified what they did and played "the victims" and they even want me to apologize and reach out to them. Should I just move on and stop the friendship and don't look back?
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
DoubleRings · 51-55, F
Well couple things going on here.

A discussion about your feelings with friends isn’t supposed to blow up in your face. For them to not accept responsibility on top of that and deflect is common but still not appropriate. And to make themselves the victim when you are the one who maturely discussed how you felt as a means of preserving the friendship, is a pretty narcissistic thing to do. Not saying they are narcissists but that is a classic narcissistic go-to behaviour. Especially since they expect an apology for expressing yourself, give me a break.

It is possible they were just caught off guard and were a little embarrassed realizing their fault, so maybe it still has a chance to blow over once they come to their senses. But if they don’t come to you, don’t go to them, these people aren’t therefore very good friends.
Bittersweet84 · 36-40, F
@DoubleRings @DoubleRings One of our common friend suggested, that I "should" apologize to them(Geraldine&Joyce) as I called them out about what they did to me. Apparently they were hurt because I confronted them. In the first place, they failed to validate my feelings, instead, they both justified what happened and blamed our common friend (Liz) for suggesting to attend another bday night out on that night. They repeatedly mentioned "Liz" about it. And justified that there was nothing wrong about what they did.
Now, this lady "Liz" has stated that I should apologize, but for me, I was the one who got hurt first. I don't get why, they are now the victims. At the moment, I'm keeping my distance, and you are correct, they both have narcissistic behaviour. I just hope they wont treat anybody else, like how they treated me.😭
DoubleRings · 51-55, F
@Bittersweet84 uhm no. You should not apologize for anything. For what?? Telling them how you felt?? That’s an offensive thing to do?? It doesn’t matter who was hurt first bc they shouldn’t have felt “hurt” in the first place. True friends would have felt compassion that they offended one of their own. Even if Liz was the reason, it’s ok to say “we didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, so why don’t we [insert resolution here]?”

It’s ok for you to “take up space” by telling people when you have been hurt by them. If they see that as a personal attack that’s not your problem. That’s soooo problematic. People who cannot listen to others feelings, validate them, and understand their role in them are not healthy people to be friends with and it’s a very difficult behaviour to change.
Bittersweet84 · 36-40, F
@DoubleRings It made me contemplate for a bit, yes I was wrong for blaming Liz, I owned up to it. I actually apologized to Liz. But, I'm not too sure if I need to apologize to the people who hurt me the most. I think they want to gaslight me, to make me feel , I was in the wrong. Thank you for this valuable comment. I feel better that someone, understands the concept of what happened. I'm now starting to move on. Thank you so much.💙👏🏻