@
Bittersweet84 Thanks for responding; I was actually serious in my question, but after @
DoubleRings' reply, I took a "deep dive" and looked through all of your groups.
I
now think that you are shy but direct, serious, and you take this very seriously--the social snub--because it
was personal / intended, and, as you say:
In the first place, me and these ladies have been friends for the last 5 years.
so you have gotten to know each other a bit.
I didn't choose them.
I'm not sure what you meant by this...? Do you mean that your group coalesced together and has been doing things fir ~5 yrs? Or are you linking it with
It's a birthday celebration.
??
The real heart of this is why they seemingly suddenly are NOT inviting you.
I know other Filipinos/Filipinas, and most are quiet, serious, etc., but fun / funny and talkative when you get to know them.
I see that you've had some bad feeling about your husband, but the far bigger element in your "fora" is a miscarriage which has really devastated you. I don't know if you've always unsure of your looks, or if that is part of the negative self-talk which you have perhaps given yourself as a Christian looking for meaning in the wake of this very sad event.
I think your group likely helped fulfill your desire to have people with whom you vould speak openly, as they had earned your trust over years of interaction.
I cannot say that I have had that sort of event in my own life, or in the lives of women close to me in the real world, so you can dismiss all of this. However, I can imagine that the euphoric exuberance of discovering that you had a new human being growing inside you--with all the hopes, dreams, prayers, plans, purchases--which go along with the expectant part of being pregnant...that ALL of that suddenly being taken from you via a miscarriage WOULD be
extremely devastating, and certainly
should be, for anyone who actually WANTED to be a parent. You clearly wanted that child, so if
course you were devastated.
When this happened, did you turn to
this group of 5-yr friends for support? I would think that they were a definite safe port in that horrible personal storm.
While I am sure you have shared other things, positive things, the number of groups about your miscarriage, and esp. the forum about not being able to get over it, make me wonder if that has been
most of what you have talked about for a while...?
If so, perhaps either
1) the group has reached their limit of being able to deal with your loss, for now, or
2) you have been enveloped in a shroud of sadness / gloom because of this very awful event, so perhaps you aren't as "fun"/participatory in positive things as you used to be...
?? Do either of those (or perhaps both) resonate with you? You are the one in the situation.
That's the only thing which stood out to me--in my attempt to know you through the proxy of your fora--which looked as though it might hold the key to understanding this very odd behavior of your friends group.
I'm so sorry about your various bad events.
