I wish I had a family so I could die and my son wouldn’t have no one,

@RebelFox I’ve been there a couple times… that’s when I end up back on an anti depressant just to give me a boost so I can climb my way back up and out of it

@WaryWitchWandering I’ve tried meds and they always make it worse. I need hugs. It’s really that simple but it’s hard when you’re a loser and can’t meet people.

@RebelFox you’re not a loser… but your environment is bumming you out

@TinyViolins but which am I? I still feel like a pup and my parents already left me. It’s like I don’t exist anyway.

@RebelFox You are what you wish to define yourself as. Nobody can tell you how to feel or what to believe, though they'll certainly try. The only person who knows you is you.

The problem with defining ourselves by our relationships is that when those relationships end, we no longer know who we are or what we stand for. It becomes a struggle to find our identity in a world so callous to our needs.

We have to learn through pain what other people learned through love, as unfair and unbearable as it is. But from my point of view, the universe gave you that pain for a reason. It made you strong so that you can carry those who lack the strength. It gave you that pain so that you could recognize it in others. It's giving you wisdom to be a guide for the lost souls out there. You had to suffer so that others don't have to.

Imagine if you were one of those selfish parents that abandoned their children or left them to fend for themselves. That let themselves get lost to drugs or alcohol or sex while their children's needs were left unmet. Who were so preoccupied with themselves and their appearance, their children grew to expect neglect and stopped loving them.

It might not seem like it, but pain is temporary. How many things from 5 or 10 years ago still hurt as much as it did the day it happened?

@RebelFox I hope my response didn't come across as cold it was meant to be supportive. I do understand how being alone makes things a lot harder ,been on my own all my life . If there was a way I'd come give you those hugs.

@kodiac I understand now… sorry 😞

@WaryWitchWandering No worries it was my wording that sounded bad

@SW-User You’re such a dick 😆 An insensitive, unevolved, mass produced dick.

I should shoot YOU in the fkn head 😂

@RebelFox Pain that you need someone?

@Justenjoyit I don’t think many people understand that I do not get any breaks. Now he doesn’t want to go to his dads at all. I don’t stop and when I do, shit doesn’t get done, that shit piles up. And this house is a nightmare 😆 Every facet of my life is empty of compassion and full of pain. and this is not the life I tried to build. Sure I have stuff, but that’s never what I wanted. I’ve worked SO hard on myself, I’ve done all I can so my son has a beautiful life, and somehow ended up dog shit. All I gave, doesn’t mean anything. There is no love for me. Tbh I feel better having pushed everyone away so it’s not so confusing.

In short, yeah, I want to be loved and I want someone to hug. I don’t think that’s much to ask, but it evades me and instead I get pain. I’m so tired. I’m so close to the edge. I’m the one holding myself back because I’d never leave my son. But I don’t believe there’s any way out of this. I’m unloveable.

@RebelFox I can give you a virtual hug