Working on family rules.

Good lawd this sounds like a toxic training program for dogs!

Sorry .... but it really does😂

Yeah - i consider that have lots of experience, a mum of two, and i work with teenagers.
Ive studied child psychology and learnt that every child is different and each has their own psychological needs.

Sometimes blanket rules don't work....sometimes they do.🤷‍♀... but dont magically expect blanket rules to just 'work'.




If you want respect, and for them to take your advice, you earn it.

Its that simple.


They aren't little kids. they are young adults in training.

Learn who they each are. Show interest.

Model for them how to be a good adult. Debate, reason, learn to bargain with them.
Give them the opportunitues to practice and learn these traits, and teach them why.

Use fuck ups as learning experiences....for you all.
- sometime kids act up coz they need to let off steam over something else. Sometimes they do it coz they deeply need attention.
Work out the deeper whys when something goes wrong - it could be a call for help about something else in their life.

Sometimes inflicting a punishment when its a call for help will only alienate you, foster feelings of hate and injustice in them.

If you guide them with
Honesty
Respect
Responsibility and
Consistency, (all the traits you expect) - and model the correct behaivour, you'll get the the compliance or 'obedience' as you phrase it.

And Reward and acknowledge the good - ie: positive reinforcement.

And keep your cool.
If you want to be who they look up to, you need to be the one they feel safe with.

These are young minds, growing souls - they need guidance.

NOT an army camp.





Also:
'MOS situations' is a military term used for soldiers in speciality training.




They aren't soldiers.

They are family.

Seems like good advice
And you make decisions from there

I am sure you will manage Helen

two girls 11 and 13 = GOOD LUCK

How is discipline handled in your house?

I don’t have any particular experience of those specific pillars but they seem very sensible. I do think, though, that the number one priority is to establish 100% agreement between you and their dad.
If the kids are going to feel secure they need to know that your relationship is strong. To check that out, they will test the relationship and will home in on any perceived weak links.

No offence,

But the kids mother died or got divorced?

to start with, first thing is to get along with teenage kids.

Once they found you to be part of thr lives, surely u dont need any rules in house.

Looks like a great place to start
But you will need some specific ones such as phone use

This is 2026. If you’re on the level, you’re not looking for an excuse to physically abuse minors who have no options. Restricting privileges preserves dignity and self-esteem while providing consequences. On the other hand, if you’re a catfish courting the resident spankos here ("two girls 11 and 13"), see a shrink.

Perfect...but my question Ma'am is this...How do you cure the dishonesty,disobedience disrespect...I don't think just talking to them would get them to change their ways...

Kept it simple.
Honesty and no hurting others

Maybe a general list of rules in the house.