After having some issues with discipline and how to handle things around the house, I’ve asked people for some advice and suggestions. I don’t have kids of my own, I’m a pretty fresh stepmother, so please be nice to me and don’t judge on the spot, this is coming from love and I want a home that everyone can enjoy staying in.
That being said, this has been a house with a busy dad and two girls 11 and 13. So it’s not very structured. The best advice I’ve gotten so far is to not have specific rules on every behavior but use five pillars that can be used and referred to in most situations and make them the house rules.
My two cents. Bond. Do things together. Get to know each other. At the teens age, you know they are still curious about a lot of things. They probably haven't experienced hardships and don't understand struggles. Their whole world is focused on what they want to become.
It helps to get them to understand why some things are important and why some things must be done. They might fail and need you to explain again and again. Be patient. Some things don't need words though. Some people learn by watching you do things and live your life.
Love is a language that is different for everybody. Learn theirs. Love them in their language. Teach them yours.
Respect is something earned. So earn it and don't just demand. This would help you on the disciplining part.
@HelenJohnson I kind of felt that reading your words actually.
But you know, the things that felt like dreams and magic to us when we were kids if only because we didn't have them, the things we wish we could have had at the time...things that were not there when you looked. Just imagine it this way. You can bring that kind of warmth, that magic in the home you have now. And more.
So it's up to you to build the kind of home that would be warm, safe and welcoming for all of you. :) It starts with you.
