So what are the reasons for our loneliness?

Deep meaningful friendships are created early on and cemented by time and experience. It becomes a problem to connect with people when we're older because we tend to come into our own and become comfortable in who we have developed into. We tend to no longer be willing to act different to impress others or accept other peoples nonsense.

The assumption they’re shallow (as opposed to simply having different priorities/values/reasons ) compared to you is a superiority belief, yes. Hard to say about the depressive or gossiping part though. They might be objectively gossipy, depressive person or it’s possible you might be one of those people who uses toxic positivity as a coping mechanism for your own emotional difficulties that gets agitated by people who do not use that strategy. (I’m not making an observation about you, just discussing what might be a play interactionally)

In my experience, people who have a creative, philosophical and/or intellectual have a hard time peopling. I think it’s fair to say that the world has more pragmatic people in it than artsy/brainy, which can feel lonely when you were trying to connect with people in a very particular way. after a while I think a lot of us develop a bit of a snobbery to cope and then sometimes we need another artsy/brainy person/group then everyone pat themselves on the back for being so much better than those non-artsy/brainy people. This comes up in dating too. It’s so tempting to put up with unhealthy bullshit longer than we really should have because it’s challenging to find another artsy/brainy lovers that you can connect to you in that particular way. This amplifies the lonely feeling.


I think.. artsy/brainy people often struggle with feelings of disconnectedness, but in reality they aren’t open to meeting people where those persons are at. They are disappointing other people do not meet them where they are at. I think.. in order to feel more connected to others we have to be willing to genuinely be receptive to who they are, not be pissy that they aren’t the way we want them to be, which is to say, more like us. The other thing is that artsy/brainy people tend to be more quick to discuss vulnerable topics whereas more pragmatic people tend to need more time getting to know someone to have those sprinkled conversations because they are not accustomed to it or sometimes they don’t feel safe to open up so readily. My point is, just because someone isn’t talking about their latest creative epiphany or philosophical inkling doesn’t mean they don’t have creative, contemplative, or introspective moments to who they are.


(Sorry for the long post. I’ve given a lot of thought to this topic over the years when contemplating my own loneliness)

I feel lonely when I cannot connect to those around me. So outwardly I might appear to be social and involved, but inwardly I feel genuinely lonely. Sometimes the answer to loneliness is to withdraw and make do with your own company.

You seem like a very interesting person and your writing is relatable. But then you never responded to the PM's.

Humans are in habit of living in couples and in groups from 30 million years. So we are wired to not live alone. It's very difficult to overcome that wiring as far as we are connected to our mind and emotions.

But as we connect more with our soul/consciousness we are not bound by our mind and emotions, and may prefer to live alone.

To find a right partner for you, Indian astrology suggests eight characteristics to match.

Aw, it can be hard in these times to connect with meaning. And the shallow gossiping stuff is an instant turn off. That's a no for me.

Maybe keep some hope.

When you feel disconnected from people you wish to be close to.. then you are lonely..

Maybe if you think ill of others’ behavior.. you should tell them so they could improve themselves .. instead of silently disapproving and withdrawing

I feel like I am in a similar situation. I find myself somewhere in between people I cannot relate to and people I haven't come across yet.
Part of the reason I believe, for me, is that I am changing. My views are changing. I'm unable to express myself properly to be 'seen' or attract the right kind of people to me. So I find myself in a limbo.

This pandemic has really altered a lot.
Hard to socialize for me when I always have something to conceal me and I am not feeling safe.

Im trans looking for a gf.. super hard to find

I assume all people want to kill me so I don't even try anymore.

Because human beings are just a waste to expect anything from

Because human beings are just waste

I don't know

I found happiness when I stopped trying to connect

I had this idea of how many friends

Needing a partner

At some stage I realised that I don't get lonely