So what are the reasons for our loneliness?

I am trying to figure mine out...i mean i can see how i want humane contact, i ask people out and after sometime I don't want them. I find them either depressive, shallow, gossiping...I struggle to be my true self around others. I am not perfect either. And I am not thinking i am any superior...or am I thinking that? I find it hard to connect. It shouldn't be this way, we are supposed to be sharing our lives ❤️ I, we, shouldn't be living them alone..

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SW-User

Deep meaningful friendships are created early on and cemented by time and experience. It becomes a problem to connect with people when we're older because we tend to come into our own and become comfortable in who we have developed into. We tend to no longer be willing to act different to impress others or accept other peoples nonsense.

being · 36-40, F

@SW-User hmm yes, and no. I remember in kindergarden and in primary school how i was distant, quiet, i remember how i would _choose_ to focus upon a tiny flower or a little detail instead of playing with other kids. So it has never been easy to me. I broke free from it for a few years around my teenage but it came back and i am again facing it, trying to shake that difficulty off..

PatKirby · M

@being

This here what you said is very telling, because this is who you really are. It appears that the problem may be that you've been trying to run away from yourself. Own yourself. Never be ashamed of who you are. People who do not accept you for exactly who you are are not your friends. Know that other people are also struggling with themselves. Do you know for a fact they don't accept you?

Growing into one's self is not easy, but there comes a time when you finally accept who you really are and learn to live with it. Be happy in your own skin. No one else is going to do it for you. Start with that.

being · 36-40, F

@PatKirby yes i have realized those that you tell me..i have taken huge steps, but it feels as if the ultimate step for me would be to move city. I feel as if i have ruined it here. Well not exactly as it sounds. Like as if it has been such a great learning environment, but now when old friends meet me, i am triggered, having a hard time to keep up with my new me.. Do you think that is an action of avoidance once more? I have "tied" myself on that ground, in this city, for years, telling myself i am not allowing me to run away again. Now i feel the urge to move again but i don't know is the circle closed or should i give it some more time? These aren't for you to answer, but for me, i am only sharing my thoughts..
Nevertheless..i find your text highly motivational and thank you for it 🤗🌹

PatKirby · M

@being

Things could be worse, but they're not. You be just fine.