Helpless and scared

I'm so very sorry to hear that you and your family are going through this.

I went through the exact same thing with my dad 10 years ago. Same situation where he was diagnosed very late. There were some things they had offered him but he felt that they would contribute to him leaving much sooner than if he tried to wait it out.

As a daughter it was heartbreaking and I wanted to cry everyday but I didn't. I think the best thing that we did in our situation was just go through the days find the joys the little joys the moments of peace and the little moments of tenderness.

My sister and I did not cry in front of my father we didn't ask questions we left that to my mom and the doctors.

It was better that he didn't see our sadness. We tried to do the best that we could for him. We spent time at the hospital making him as comfortable as possible doing the little things making sure his lips didn't go dry his eyes and skin and whatever we could make him comfortable with we did of course with the doctors instructions.

At a certain point a decision was made to give him some medication to kind of help him through.
But I want you to listen to me.... Please
Even when you think he might be out of it with medication or a little spacey and he's non-communicative.... Trust me he's listening He's there he can still squeeze your hand hopefully there are those little things like I said.

As I'm writing this my heart is breaking for you . Please remember that he can hear you even when it seems like he's out of it. Tell funny stories just keep talking I tried not to get to sentimental I didn't want him worrying or feeling any pain or sadness I wanted him to know that we would be okay.

There's one more thing I would like to tell you. I work in the medical field ...
I know the situation can be exhausting, emotionally draining and devastating.

Please listen to my next words..... And remember them in the moment.... And this is for anyone who reads this and is going through something similar.. Please heed my words......
If you are there as that moment is happening... Remember they can still hear you and the body can still hear even up to 30 minutes after....
While I know that everyone handles things in their own way, and by no means am I trying to tell you how to do anything.....
I'm just letting you know the things that I learned.
I remember making the decision not to let him see me in sadness as the last thing he saw. I tried to be very brave and did not shed a tear. I held on with kindness and love and peace and spoke softly.... I spoke quietly to him until that time had passed that I knew the body could not hear anymore. My mother was going crazy everyone else was screaming and fainting and crying. . . I made the decision to just sit with him and speak softly and reassuring the things will be okay and then I'd be looking for signs from him from above.....

I don't know if any of this will help...
And as a daughter who's lost a father.... I know there is nothing that can ease that pain not even after 10 years for me. But knowing in that moment that I didn't let his last look of me be with sadness and panic that I spoke to him gently and bravely.... Even after he had closed his eyes..... It has been a great comfort.

Brace yourself.... You can do this....
Reach out anytime to me if you need to My thoughts and prayers are with you. Be brave and strong just as I'm sure he is.

Please I hope you don't think I'm trying to tell you what to do. Everyone's situation is different I just wanted to share what has helped me. I was just telling you about my experience. And the things that I had looked into to brace myself for what was going to happen
I didn't want him leaving with fear and sadness in his presence. Sometimes when we lose someone we think of our sadness and our loss and although it is heartbreaking.... We sometimes forget in the chaos of the moment..
I hope this helps a little bit.. and if you prepare yourself you can really truly make a difference at the very end.
When we come into this world we come in through Joy and pain.
Each of us leaves through a different set of circumstances.... My father was not hooked up to many machines and did not have any distress in those last moments. I wish that you all were not going through this at all. But I do pray that whatever comes to pass it is peaceful. You can always cry later You will have plenty of time for tears.... This is something you can do for him and for you because later on when you think about these moments and trust me you will.... They sometimes rip you apart flashing through your mind.... I've always found comfort in knowing what I did in those moments and how I hopefully helped him to leave us peacefully , lovingly.

I am so very sorry to hear this. I lost my Dad about 5 years ago now with an aggressive brain tumor. The only thing I can say is please say Goodbye, make sure they know how you feel.

My Dad went downhill so quick, by the time I knew what I needed t say it was too late, and he was beyond understanding. I still said them, but it hurts all these years later that I don't think he truly knew.

I feel your pain girl. Went through that with my mom, she got pneumonia and was moved from the hospital to hospice. It was 3 days before she passed. It’s so heartbreaking to watch and the emotional roller coaster is unbearable. Praying for you and him. I’m so sorry 😞

I went through that with both my mother and father, it is not easy at all, I know. But take relief that when he does pas and goes to heaven your father will have a fully healthy and uncorrupted youthful body and mind again without any pain or suffering. A new guardian angel watching over you.

The end of his misery and suffering.


God bless him, you and your family.

It is unfair and angering. All of your feelings are justified sweet lady. You have a big heart so it breaks big too. I promise you will get through to gentler days.

Keep holding his hand 🖤

This absolutely breaks my heart. As beautiful as life can be, it can also feel agonizing at times. Sending hugs and lots of prayers your way. Please, continue to keep us updated. We are here for you.💙

🩷🌸🌹🩵💜🪻✨
The earth will still be here to hold you...the flowers, the rivers, the rest of the people...the air, the flames of candles, the stars, the whole world will speak to you. And your father not only will be with you in spirits but also through your blood and DNA, will continue to live on and breathe through your own life... He can never leave you as you are made of him.

You will be fine.
Only God knows best
And we must understand He controls all.
He would never put more on you than you can handle.
Bless you. 🙏

♥💜and Prayers for you and your Dad

Speak to your doctor. Maybe he can give you something to take when the time comes

major prayers and powerful energy