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Is it a red flag if a woman in her late 20's or early 30's is very inexperienced?

If she spent many years focusing on school/her career, just did not have any interest in dating for a long time, was working on herself?
no....in fact that's what makes her sexier in her later years
I would find that attractive in a man. Driven to succeed. Has goals. Knows what he wants and is working hard for it. Once that's accomplished and he puts all his energy then into a relationship... Kind of sexy when I think about it 😊
Goodluckwiththat · 56-60, M
@PrincessVelvet same applies to a woman! Wants to be independent and successful!
bugeye · 26-30, F
The opposite actually. I find most guys tend to like women with lower body counts. Its better to be 1 of 4 than 1 of 30
see this is bullshit. but the sad truth is, even if a guy has a rly high body count, he still can have no fucking clue about what he’s doing and thinks penetration is the only way to make a woman cum. @bugeye
bugeye · 26-30, F
@deathfairy op wasnt asking about the guys. And its true a really high number of partners is seen as a red flag or turn off for most guys.
ik that’s why i put in the double standards stigma. it’s gross. im not attacking you or your response. i was just adding onto what you said. (: @bugeye
cerealguy · 26-30, M
Inexperienced in bed vs. inexperienced in how to be a good wife/partner are two totally different leagues of inexperience, mainly because one actually matters in relationships. Personally, I still don't get this whole idea about working on oneself pausing one's dating life. What exactly is one building at this point in time that they "work on" in a career such that it has something to do with a relationship and family? (Assuming it isn't time)

Has she been mentally, emotionally, maturity-wise unfit for a man because of school and career? What exactly changed by a school and career that would make her a better (more mentally, emotionally, mature) spouse and mom?

Because seeking a partner is a totally different aim than career/portfolio building and the two can only interfere with time. And careers don't help relationships work. (Unless that career is actually IN making relationships work [psychiatry, psychology, sociology, relationships, therapy, etc.]). So would it not make more sense to not mention financial careers when discussing dating and relationships and instead focus more on character growth and understanding human relationships and how to make a successful relationship? :o
cerealguy · 26-30, M
@Spoiledbrat can you be more clear?

[quote]And careers don't help relationships work[/quote]

Was it this you're responding to?
@cerealguy Yes because I think happiness and fulfillment make us easier to get along with. And I think that's important in a relationship
cerealguy · 26-30, M
@Spoiledbrat hm, I see what you mean
However, I generally do not couple careers with fulfillment and happiness
SW-User
I don't think so
There's more to life than dating . Nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself . Nothing wrong with wanting to find wholeness in oneself and not looking for it in others ...in fact I find it very healthy !
Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
To me it is. She's only ever done things in her control and never ever had put her self out to be vulnerable which is the entire foundation of a relationship. To me it signals insecurity.

Also. If she meets a man who is well experienced and she's a shy Virgin and know zero about intimacy or a romantic relationship it might not be that appealing to him who's a man expecting a mature woman he's ready to settle down with.

I don't think she's doing anyone any favors by not exploring herself and the world and her body and what she likes and having romantic experiences.

It's just a sexist expired gender role thing that women should be virgin's or "have low body count" it's 2023. Women should be as experienced as men.

The risk for the Virgin woman to someday think "what if..." and get curious about the world and other people is also very big if she enters a serious relationship before she has had any previous experiences.

I think most adults want to meet another adult who's on the same wave length. Experience wise too.
idk why this comment is getting slept on.. @Queendragonfly
Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
@deathfairy Yeah very silent from everyone in the comments. Maybe they realize how insecure they are if they want a woman who's never been with any other guy.
mindstruggle · 31-35, F
I don’t see myself as a red flag tho. 🤔 wait am I?
@mindstruggle (((((HUGS))))) One of our Most Dearest and Cherished members 🤗❤️
mindstruggle · 31-35, F
@NativePortlander1970
Awwe that is so nice of you.
Le Mow!
@mindstruggle (((((HUGS))))) LeMow Bonjour :)
plungesponge · 41-45, M
It's not a red flag, but does tell you something about her priorities
Bowenw · 61-69, M
I don't see it as a red flag that someone knew what they wanted and is now successful.
Goodluckwiththat · 56-60, M
Not at all!! Shows she's focused on her self worth, career!
Slade · 56-60, M
No, she's probably extremely horny by now!
Slade · 56-60, M
@Goodluckwiththat

What a sublime wit

I want to stay off moms since I just got off yours
PatKirby · M
@Slade

Just guessing, did you tell her that while whispering sweet nothings over her shoulder?
Slade · 56-60, M
@PatKirby

[b]No. Do the rodeo! While doggie I tell her her sister also liked it just like that! Then see how long I can hang on![/b]
I think most men like an experienced lover. If someone is not in tune with knowing how to please someone sexually that's not a preferred date....at least for me. That said if one really cares about someone else they should want to help teach their partner the sexual ropes. Often if a person goes a long long time and has not had sex....that is indicative of them just not wanting sex...and that is a red flag.
Richard65 · M
You're suggesting she should concentrate on how to engage with others first and foremost, and not on her own life and goals. By working on herself and discovering who she is and what she wants will be beneficial to her and likely even help her choose her friends and lovers with more insight.
Elessar · 26-30, M
No, just different priorities
No it's not a red flag, but the question will then be how will she feel about doing it, and will she enjoy it? Or what will she enjoy or not enjoy.

Also what is she looking for or waiting for? And will you be wasting your time or will it be worth the wait, etc etc.
eMortal · M
I’ll go against the current. Yes it’s a yellow flag.
It could be a mental health issue. She could be emotionally unavailable. She will prefer hiring male escort to ups and down of an actual relationship.
thenormalkindofcrazy · 31-35, M
No, sounds like a green flag if anything. Focused on herself, didn't just bounce around hoping that hopping into someone's bed would lead to love. Yeah, biased, but that's a good thing.
I don't know if I'd want to deal with learning all the rights and wrongs with someone. I did my time. Learnt my lessons. I don't think I want to be there to be someone else's learning block.
AngelJade · 22-25, F
I may mean that sex isn't that important to her, as one can do all that while working and going to school, no actual dating is required.
ArishMell · 70-79, M
Why should it be? As long as she is not driven by ambition into self-destructive obsession. You hint she does now want to meet someone.
rrraksamam · 31-35, M
Is it a red flag if a man is very inexperienced?
Or would you prefer someone's who's d!cked down a dozen women the past couple of years?
Reflection2 · 41-45, M
Absolutely not. I think, it shows she has the courage and values.
I am in my late thirties and have zero experience.
AlchemyFox · 36-40, F
No. That's a smart lady. Men/dating can cause a lot of problems. It's wise to focus elsewhere.
I find it more fun as they find new ways and i teach them how to enjoy it more
bookerdana · M
Don't worry about RED FLAGS..so 1999 Oprah..just make yourself available
MrSmooTh · 31-35, M
No. Different people make different life choices. Doesn't mean anything is wrong.
It’s ok to be unique and fabulous
SW-User
You again. Go away
Yourguyinthecity · 51-55, M
Alyosha · 31-35, M
basilfawlty89 · 31-35, M
Nah, I don't think so.
I dont generally judge someone based on how much or little experience they have with relationships, just compatibility.
ViciDraco · 36-40, M
So long as she has interest now, it's all good.
SW-User
Sweetie, girls were a total distraction for me at high school & Uni

I had my sports & studies, I never become interested until about 24
I see that as very positive, she focuses on her goals and goes after what she wants before settling down.

 
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